A long distance relationship is when both partners are not in the same location or geographical area. They might have started the relationship with close contact after which one or both separated from each other due to many reasons such as job transfer, education purpose, and search for a greener pasture or change in parent’s location. Some people who meet their partner on social networks, through a friend or through match-making often practice long distance relationship. They might be able to see each other frequently if the distance between them both is not much. On the other hand, some might not see each other in months and even years. Maintaining such kind of a relationship is tasking and needs extra commitment.
Being in a long distance relationship has its advantages and disadvantages. The major problem with it is that for men the disadvantages tend to overweight the advantages. Thus, many people do not prefer this type of relationship. The clingy, emotional, jealous, dependent lovers and those with trust issues find it hard to cope with distance relationship while the few people independent, trusting, trust worthy, less emotional and understanding people have the highest tendency to cope with long distance relationship. The career people and those with multiple sexual partners most times crave for distance for privacy and more chance for their activities and sexual escapades. Men and women who are less committed to a relationship are always joyous when they find themselves in such relationships. They hide their imperfections under the distance.
Advantages of long distance relationship include
Privacy and time
If your partner is not around, you can do anything you want to do at your convenience. There won’t be the need to pretend what you are not in order to impress anybody. Nobody will put a check on you, your activities, the friends you roll with. You can leave your phone open and unlocked. There will be enough time to pursue success, career and achievement. Nobody to stalk you, disturb activities with visits. Full concentration on what one is doing. This relationship is good for students because their attention will not be divided and more focus will be on their studies. There will be no girlfriend or boyfriend to attend to after lectures, no need of involving in the “flask/cooler ministry”, no need of sharing pocket money or taking her out to suya joint at night. More time will be available to cover more grounds and engage in profitable extra curriculum activities. No need of thinking of satisfying the partner’s needs which may hinder self satisfaction. It creates less emotional trauma, because you are blind to the shady activities of your partner.
Independence and Confidence
When a lady is living alone or without a masculine figure around her, she tends to do her things herself. She won’t need to wait for someone to pay her petty bills, buys her lunch or dinner, or take her back home after the day’s work. She will become an independent lady that cares for herself instead of living her life on the partner. Such women tends to cook their meal, stay at home, find something worthwhile doing to develop herself, pursue her dreams, and lots more. A lady who is always going around with her partner’s car will be too comfortable and might never think of the need to have her own car. On the contrary, someone that hustles around, exposed to the vices in the society or get stressed by public transport both in the morning and under the sun will be smart, courageous and may think of working harder so that she can have her own personal car.
A man that lives without a female figure also tends to be more independent in cooking and doing house chores. He will later be a better husband in marriage by giving helping hands in the house. He will be pushed to learn how to take care of himself in the course of living alone and may transfer the skill to the development of his house later in life.
Will be Able to Cope With Their Spouse Absence in Future
Someone who has lived alone successfully without the partner’s presence will cope with any kind of separation and distance. If a partner was once faithful in the past during a long distance relationship, the couple has no fear anytime distance issue creep in again. A spouse may not always be around. One of the couple will be absent from home for one reason or the other – ceremony, conference or on business trips.
Happy and Fun-filled Life
When partners are apart, they tend to have low tendency of developing emotional trauma and unnecessary headaches. The mind will be at rest and there won’t be cases of witnessing heart breaking scenario. You will be happy, free of nagging, troubles and complaints.
Disadvantages Of Long Distance Relationship
Loneliness kills faster than AIDS. A faithful partner will be lonely at times. The couple will miss each other especially during anniversaries and holidays or when they see other couples around them. There is nobody to take them out for special treats and may be unhappy sometimes. Some partners might even sulk at each other over trivial issues or when plans of visitation get cancelled.
Lack of trust and Misunderstanding
When lovers are separated from each other for a long period of time, trust issues might set in. The couple might start suspecting and start false accusing each other. Even if they are faithful lovers, there will be some time when they start querying the trust because they will feel they don’t know what the other is doing. Seeing what other people are doing around them when their partners are not around might affect their thinking and may influence their relationship. Misunderstanding sets in frequently when news about one partner fly to the other, when calls are not being made nor answered or when chats are not being replied.
When distance is much and communication is being broken. The partners may start doubting the relationship which can lead to gradual withdrawal or total separation. Frequent misunderstandings, fights and lack of trust can terminate affect their love for each other which will eventually lead to the termination of the relationship if care is not taken.
Higher Tendency to Cheat
Since the partner is not around when nature calls for sexual pleasure, a partner can be forced to have side chicks or side boos that are close or always around. People in a long distance relationship are prone to infidelity. They might unfortunately love their new partners and might stop contact or break up with their far-away lovers.
In conclusion, the disadvantages of long distance relationship should be worked on, trust should be built and communication level should be at its best. Those that cannot cope with distance should not venture into this type of relationship.
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