Here are 6 Things Men Really Want In A Relationship

• Appreciation
Men often complain that their partners don’t appreciate them or say what they like about them. The term ‘male ego’ is famous, and as a partner you must take care of your man’s ego. Praise him and appreciate his effort, efficiency, love, and love-making prowess. They really love to hear how good they are in bed. Most men don’t require constant appreciation but when something is good why not just say it and improve his day? Keep telling your man about his good looks, gestures, and whatever you like about him.

• Communication
Often women feel their men should get their clues or hints to find out what’s missing or bothering them, but men actually need good communication to know these things, and will rarely get your clues. Lack of communication leads to disappointment in women (as to why he is not getting any clue) and irritation in men.

Here are a few reasons why women fall for the wrong man:

1. Ladies, you know how people always say, “Actions speak louder than words?” Well, this very saying is getting a lot of you in big trouble. Yes, actions do speak, but please understand actions also lie and in some cases lie more than words. Actions only speak louder when the heart and motives of the person pursing you is pure. If that is not the case, then what you have is manipulation and womanizing. Many men already know they can fool you with actions and words, so stop believing actions mean anything unless it’s done consistently over a long period of time. Don’t forget this consistency also includes you. Your job is not to sit around and watch what he does while you do nothing. That is selfish and speaks of fear, etc.

2. You have sex with a man and become closer to him than you really think you are. Sex causes soul ties and makes you emotional, thus you feel closer to a man than you really are. I don’t have to tell you how to avoid this mistake you, because you already know. Good or great sex will always cause a woman to be with a man longer than she should and be with the wrong man.

3. Women are moved by beautiful things like shoes, curtains, homes, candles and a handsome man. There is more to a man than his looks. If you fall easy for nice looking men, find out why and make the correction.

4. You are a 30+ year old woman who is worried about being married, having kids before a certain age, or believing the lie there is something wrong with you being single. Of course there is nothing wrong with you being single. When you do worry, you will settle for the wrong man or make the wrong choice in a man.

5. You allow your self-esteem or insecurities to allow you to settle for anyone who gives you a lot of attention. A man shouldn’t have to make you feel secure in yourself or about yourself. You should feel this way because you are a child of God. I know we all have insecurities we need to grow and work on, but don’t allow them to cause you to have bad relationships, push good people away, or cause you to fall for the wrong man.

6. Thinking you can change a man is a very common mistake and it will always cause women to stay with men who have no desire to change. Keep in mind there are men who do want to change and become better men, so I am not talking about those guys. I am talking about those who have no desire for anything more than they are already doing. Nothing.

7. You are afraid of being alone so you are with men for companionship, sex, a warm body, dates, etc… Of course, when you do this, you can’t expect anything good to come from it. Thus, when something bad is the outcome, you will result to playing victim and adding to the hurt or bitterness you already carry in your heart.

I don’t know you personally, yet, but there are a few things I want to tell you with the hope that I will get to know you some day.

Actually, there are 5 things I want you to know:

How to get a man’s attention.

The guy that you are looking for isn’t attracted to charm as much as he is Godliness because beauty fades but Godliness GROWS.

I know that the culture will tell you that guys are turned away and intimidated by girls that love Jesus and have strong values and convictions. Culture is wrong; boys may be turned away by strong convictions, but men are not.

Be the woman God has called you to be, and a godly man will notice.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.  For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.  (1 Peter 3:3-5)

Run from “Prince Charming”.

Some girls seem to give attention to every smooth talker and cool dresser that comes their way.

Please don’t do that; be patient and wait on a man who is concerned with pursuing Jesus, not another trophy. Only give the GROWING, God fearing man a chance to pursue you.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain (Proverbs 31:30).

I am just a guy, not a God.

A guy will crumble under the weight of being your God. No other person can complete you or make you happy.

There are lots of great physical and emotional benefits that come from a relationship, but none of it is enough to sustain a healthy loving marriage if your faith is not in Jesus.

No guy will complete you, so don’t put him on that pedestal (he will fall).

Don’t wait on me, pursue Jesus.

From my male perspective, there is nothing more attractive than a woman being obedient to Jesus and taking the risk to follow Jesus wherever He leads.

Too many times I notice girls in the church just sitting and waiting on a man to come and rescue them from a life of boredom.

When it comes time for me to pick a partner, I want somebody that can follow me on an adventure, not someone that is used to doing nothing and complaining about the fact that no one is interested in them.

Pursue Jesus and I will pursue you when He gives me the green light.

Time is not running out. Singleness is a gift, not a curse.

You want to be beautiful? Put your hope in God and don’t give way to fear; trust His timing. Don’t waste your single years by always waiting on what is next and turning yourself into a man chaser.

Let’s follow God right now and trust Him to take care of the next. God is sovereign and able to direct both of us to each other when the time is right.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)

Until Then,

A Single Guy

I didn’t want to be alone when I was single. My single state felt like an uncomfortable glove. I was addicted to love and the feeling it produced in me. I wasn’t very selective when it came to choosing whom the love came from, I just wanted someone to quell my desire; at the time I didn’t see it that way, I just called it “dating”. One failed relationship proceeded another in hopes that the giddiness of new love would numb out the pain of the previous one.

Looking back it was a destructive vicious cycle with no end. I tried justifying every failure with, “well he wasn’t the one… next”. I was in search of love and validation that I was worth loving. I can only imagine what God was thinking as He looked down at His precious creation. Me.

I prayed for my husband since I was 13 years old but I didn’t have the patience to sit and wait on the Lord. I figured God would work through my reckless decisions and give me my well deserved happy ending. That erroneous thought process led me down dark paths and caused me worthless pain, pain that God did not intend for me to suffer, but I thought I knew better than God. God wasn’t fast enough so the next logical thing was “I thought” to  help Him. Little did I know that instead of helping Him I was thwarting His perfect plan for me and delaying His best.

For so many years I chased love when all the while love was chasing me. Through all my heartbreaks the Lord silently sat by my side nursing my tears and knitting my heart back together. He silently waited for me to finally realize that it was His love I longed for.

Does this sound eerily similar?

Are you afraid of being alone?

Are you struggling during the wait?

Don’t thwart God’s plan for your life by taking the lead in your story. Stop looking for love because at the end of the day no human love will ever fill the need implanted in your heart by God himself. He knew before your existence that your need for love would lead you to seek more, to seek Him.

Don’t fear what comes along with being single, let God show you the wonderful things that can be birthed during this time. Stop seeking love from others and allow His love to take over. Let it do what it’s meant to do which is to complete and satisfy.

When you think about what a healthy relationship might look like, you may consider a few infamous couples as examples, whether it’s the childhood romance of Cory and Topanga or the royal bonanza that is Kate and William. But while anyone would hope to one day be in a relationship like these, that doesn’t mean that you and a potential partner will live happily ever after. Why? Because being in a healthy and mature relationship doesn’t automatically mean that you’ve found “The One.”

Yes, you both may share the same core values, support one another’s dreams, and may even like the same movies, but maybe something just doesn’t feel right. Maybe the relationship is no longer serving you. According to Dr. Carla Marie Manly, clinical psychologist and author of Joy from Fear, while a healthy relationship should involve each person to grow while supporting their partner’s own evolution, if the partnership “begins to prevent or no longer support this essential growth, then the relationship is no longer being of service to one or both partners.”

Long story short: this sucks.

When you begin to notice something is off with your relationship, even when it feels and looks like it could fit into a Nicholas Sparks movie, it can truly mess with your heart and mind — but that doesn’t make what you’re experiencing any less true. “Healthy relationships can hit a breaking point because the couple cannot reach what should be the next level of emotional intimacy and closeness,” Shannon Thomas, trauma therapist and author of Healing from Hidden Abuse, said. “Sometimes it’s as simple as personality differences that cause a relationship to no longer serve us. Whatever gets in the way of our growing deeper in the relationship can become a permanent barrier.”

But even when your gut feeling is telling you that something is wrong, how exactly do you know when a healthy relationship is no longer for you? Read below to see what these experts have to say.

1. You’re feeling irritable for no reason

While it’s completely normal to feel irritable with your partner every now and then, it shouldn’t be an emotion that you’re constantly feeling. Do you want to wring their neck because they’re breathing right next to you or do you feel annoyed when they want to hug you? “This irritation often covers an underlying sense of feeling stuck or restricted,” Dr. Manly explained. So if this emotion feels all-too-familiar, then it might be time to investigate why you’re feeling like this in the first place.

2. You’re longing for freedom and imagining your life without them

If you’re dreaming about flying to Paris without your S.O., it might be time to reevaluate the relationship. When a partnership is no longer serving you, you may not see a need for this person to be a part of your life anymore. For instance, Thomas explained that when we’re ready to move on from a healthy relationship, we may begin making plans without our partners. “When we begin envisioning aspects of our life and our current significant other isn’t in the picture, it’s a solid indicator we may be ready to end the relationship,” she said.

3. You’re staying at the office longer than you normally would

Clocking in extra hours at the office is never a good idea when you’re only doing it to try to avoid your S.O. at home. According to Dr. Manly, choosing to stay at the office longer by offering to do extra projects could mean that you’re over the relationship. However, keep in mind of your behavior at home, too. Dr. Manly continued by saying that if you also find yourself putting all your attention into working as home as well, this is also a clear sign that your partnership is no longer serving you.

4. You’re focusing more of your time and energy on your friendships

The one great thing about being in a healthy relationship is that you never have to worry about offending your partner if you want to hang out with your friends; however, there could be an underlying issue with your relationship if you’re constantly going out and leaving your partner at home. “A dissatisfied partner might become more invested in friendships if a healthy relationship is no longer of service,” Dr. Manly said. “There is often an increased interest in being more involved in social activities — those that act as a distraction and improvement to life with one’s partner.”

5. You’re bored

“Feelings of boredom or indifference are often signs that an otherwise healthy relationship is no longer serving us,” Thomas said. This could mean that you’re no longer excited to see your partner, and when you do hang out with them, you may place all your attention on doing other activities, such as looking on social media, texting your friends, or maybe choosing to only listen to half of their conversation because your mind is going elsewhere.

6. You’re not keeping in touch with them while you’re apart

Let’s be honest: Do you think about your partner when you’re away? Are they the first person you want to tell good news to? “When trying to figure out if a relationship serves us or not, it’s helpful to observe whether we look forward to spending time with our partner or keeping in touch with them while apart during the day,” Thomas explained. If you realize that your healthy relationship is no longer doing it for you, try not to feel guilty. “This simple observation of how we desire to spend our time can tell us a lot. We must give ourselves the freedom to be honest in our answers and not feel guilty for whatever we are currently feeling about the relationship,” Thomas continued. “We owe it to ourselves, to be honest, and not remain in a relationship that no longer serves us; even if that relationship is overall healthy.”

Now what?

If you feel like you’re experiencing some of the above, don’t fret. Dr. Manly has provided a slew of questions you can ask yourself in addition to examples of answers you should look out for to help you determine how this relationship is making you feel. Just remember there’s no right or wrong answer and to be utterly honest with yourself.

What do I want from this relationship and am I getting it? Can it change?

“I know what I want from my relationship. Here’s the list: mutual love, companionship, mutual support, adventure, intellectual stimulation, constant growth as a couple and as individuals, laughter, emotional connection, sexual intimacy, a sense of family and future, etc. Here’s what I am NOT getting from this list: A sense of growing together and separately, emotional connection.”

What do I want to be giving in this relationship and am I giving it? Can it change?

“Here’s the list: Commitment, love, growth, kindness, respect, honesty, fun, sexual intimacy, a sense of stability. Here’s what I’m not giving to the best of my ability: Commitment, sexual intimacy, fun.” Can it change? “I’m not sure. I haven’t really thought of this before, so I want to give it a better try.”

What do I want from my partner in this relationship and am I getting it? Can it change?

“I want these things from my partner: Affection, honesty, respect, emotional support, emotional connection, intelligent discussion, kindness, lots of tenderness, fun/playfulness, good sex but in moderation, a sense of wanting to constantly evolve. Here’s what they’re not giving me: Enough daily affection, greater emotional connection, a sense of evolving (both him and our relationship — I feel stuck!)” Can it change? “I need to have an open, direct discussion to see what might open up. Who knows, maybe both of us feel stuck.”

Am I seeking something (or many things) from my partner or the relationship that I should be seeking from myself?

“This question makes me think that maybe I’m looking to my partner to get me unstuck from many areas in life. Maybe I need to look at myself to see if it’s my job, friends, and the daily grind that has me feeling stuck. I’m going to investigate this before making a rash decision that it’s my relationship or partner — and not me — that has me feeling stuck. But, if I find that the relationship is no longer serves me, I will make a commitment to move forward.”

At the end of the day, it might be hard to come to terms with the fact that while the relationship you’re in is healthy, it’s no longer serving you. Just remember to be kind to yourself and be honest with your partner about the way you feel. While you want to respect the relationship you’re currently in, you also want to respect the relationship you have with yourself.

7 Things You Should Do If You Want To Attract Godly Relationships

It is so often easy to get caught up in the world’s way of doing things, especially when it comes to love relationships but a Christian single man who has the right intentions will not be attracted by worldly tactics.

Often people respond to this by saying that God isn’t interested in our love relationships and this is too small to bother God with but it most definitely is not too small for God.

The world attracts men using physical attraction and the result will almost certainly be a physical relationship.

How you present yourself will greatly determine the type of guy you will attract into relationships and if you are looking for a faithful and Christian relationship, it is important to make sure you are not using worldly tactics to attract a Godly man.

Here are 7 things you should do if you want to attract Godly relationships…

1. Present yourself well

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. – Proverbs 31:30 

When relationships are built on superficial things such as your looks, your beautiful face, or your curves, what keeps him there once those things begin to fade away?

Nothing. But when he is attracted to the Godliness in you, you have a solid foundation to build a Godly relationship.

First impressions really do count and how you present yourself will speak volumes about your personality and the type of lady you are.

Modesty is key. Don’t go overboard trying to get a man to notice you. Because if he’s meant to be your Godly man, he will notice with little or no effort on your part.

2. Be confident and secure

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. – Proverbs 31:10

Confidence in a woman who knows what she is worth and that she is valuable will automatically make her more attractive.

Show inwardly and outwardly that you won’t just settle for anything or anyone.

Learn to love yourself for who you are and how you look, how you carry yourself and that will shine through in your personality.

This doesn’t mean you need to be full of yourself – just more sure of yourself.

3. Be Friendly and positive

It’s better to be friendly and to have a smile ready at all times.

No one wants to approach someone who looks miserable.

That will scare any guy away because you are not showing that you are open to smiling, never mind a conversation.

If you cultivate a reputation for being a caring and kind person that is easy to talk to, you will be able to strike up friendships and relationships easily.

4. Be respectful to everyone

If you are respectful and honor all those around you, it will reveal much about your character and personality and if this is who you really are you will be able to attract and keep this type of man in your life.

A Christian man looking for a potential partner will want to learn to see what the lady he is interested in is like, what her reputation is and how she treats others before engaging in a relationship with her.

If the lady in question is rude and has no respect for others, he may think that she will treat him in the same way.

More importantly, being rude and disrespectful to others may send a message to him that you are not the loving, Godly woman he is looking for.

5. Love God

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. – Matthew 22:37

Something that will attract a true man of God, is your true relationship with God.

A Christian man will admire a lady who loves God, is spirit-filled and isn’t afraid to get lost in worship and be free in the presence of God.

You don’t need to feel as though you may be making a fool of yourself when you outwardly express the love you have for your King, but can be assured that by expressing this feeling outwardly, you are first of all, doing something that is natural and loved by God, and any Christian man who is made aware of your complete love of God will see the beauty of your relationship with God as well.

6. Serve willingly

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. – Hebrews 13:16

While you may not feel your little job is important by being a member of the worship team or making tea or coffee after the service, it is.

Only people who are willing to take responsibility for others and who truly love the church volunteer for these jobs.

In large congregations, you may never meet all the people in your church but by serving, you are creating an opportunity to meet more members of the congregation and allowing them the opportunity to meet you as well.

The way in which you serve will also be of merit – if you grumble about how much mess there is to clean up etc. people will wonder why you are even bothering but if you serve out of love and wanting to help build God’s kingdom, you will show yourself to be genuine and will find it easier to build relationships with those around you who are serving in His kingdom for the same purpose.

All the good things can easily be added to you by God when you put yourself in a position for Him to lead you to a Godly relationship.

7. Be who you want people to believe you are

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.” – Matthew 6:1

A man of God will be able to recognize a true woman of God.

If you’re practicing good deeds and faking the faith only when people are watching, at some point you’re going to slip up and expose the real you.

A real man of God will be watching you to see if you are the Godly woman you claim to be.

So be the Godly person you want to attract.

Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly about you, no one would believe them!

Remember in all this, put God first, put yourself second and your potential partner will come along at the right time and in the right place and you will find yourself connecting with a true man of God who is attracted to you for you and not for how you dress and what he may get out of it.

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” – Matthew 18:20

Recently, couple prayer has been the topic of increasing research.

Many married couples who have relied on prayer in addressing marital problems report that using prayer in their marriage tends to increase their level of satisfaction within the marriage.

Many couples report that prayer left a constant impression upon their thoughts and actions throughout the day, making their interaction more positive.

Researchers have discovered what people of faith everywhere have known for some time: married couples receive strength from prayer.

But how does prayer strengthen marriages?

According to research, prayer has the following effects on marriage relationships…

1. Prayer keeps you humbled

When you’re humbled, your heart is open to change and growth.

You have a renewed willingness to work to stay together.

When we pray, we are showing our reverence for God and each other. It’s hard to be judgmental and argumentative when you’re in that stance because prayer removes selfishness.

2. Prayer Helps with forgiveness

Again, when you are humbled in your prayer position, your heart opens to understanding instead of accusing.

Prayer has a calming effect. It soothes emotions and helps angry couples resolve conflicts easier.

As couples draw nearer to God and decide to pray, their hearts and feelings are softened.

When you pray through the hurt together, then you’re on the road forgiveness.

3. Prayer breeds appreciation

When you thank God for the blessings in your life, your spouse (no matter how frustrated you may be with him) will eventually make the list.

When you show your appreciation for him, he will show it for you, and you will begin to create a list of “loves” rather than “annoyances”.

4. Prayer Strengthens the Bond

Prayer not only opens communication between you and God, it strengthens the bonds of marriage.

Studies have found the old adage, “Couples that pray together, stay together” to be true.

In a recent poll from Gallup it was revealed that “among married couples who attend church together regularly, the divorce rate is one out of two. That is the same statistic for marriages outside the church.

However, among married couples who pray together daily, the divorce rate drops to one out of 1,153.”  Prayer reinforces the connection between couples and as a result, marriages are strengthened!

5. Prayer Encourages Unity

As we come before God as a couple, we are coming as a team and reminding ourselves that we are on the same side.

Team players have common goals and direction. Couples Praying together reinforces those goals and that connection.

When we offer our prayers to God together we are naturally aligning our hearts as couples for one shared hope and outcome.

Holding your spouse’s hands is a physical portrayal of unity. Praying with your spouse provides spiritual unity through God. Physical unity and spiritual unity are ties that bind and are not easily broken.

6. Prayer Invites God into Your Relationship

When God is at the center of our marriage, we have a “built in” compass and guide.

God gives direction and wisdom that we as couples long for in our relationship.

By praying together we are inviting God into our relationship and welcoming His hand on our lives.

He will bring healing and joy as He tenderly leads us on the path He has set out for us.

7. Prayer Changes Things

I’m not saying that couples who pray together have a perfect relationship.

But I will say that even during the hard times, prayer gives you hope.

Marriages that are struggling or in crisis can be mended when God is at its center.  He is always faithful and wants the best for us.

Even good marriages can be made great when we are open to God’s leading and direction through prayer.

Can you still remember your wedding vows? I guess at the point you were reciting them to your partner, you meant every word of it but never understood that it was going to be a mix of ups and downs. Marriage can be said to be hard and takes commitment from both partners to make it work.

Have you been fighting lately? Do you see your marriage going steadily on the path of divorce already? Do you want those good old days back? Every marriage goes through the fire sometimes and at this point, it takes more than love to get it back on course especially when several issues come onboard. Love is never enough to solve marital problems.

Is your marriage on the brink of failing? How did you get to this point? I know how It can be especially when kids are involved, but I will like to let you know that divorce isn’t the only option, and you shouldn’t make it an option too. There are a host of other options available.

So many who left their marriages are no happier than when they were in their relationships, so what does that tell you? Some are currently separated yet living in regrets but pride won’t allow them go back or even when they tried, their partners rejected them.

There are a couple of things that I feel you are currently going through that makes you feel your marriage is falling apart. Could it be infidelity, pride, abuse, lack of communication or even lack of time together? You no longer feel attracted to each other, or you just feel irritated by their presence? It could all be taken care of if you are willing to work.

Let’s look at a few things together as we discover how to fix a marriage that is broken. Couples could be staying together and yet be separated, so we are looking not just at couples separated but on marital problems that could lead to divorce and also how to save a marriage on the brink of divorce.

Marriage is not a bed of roses, there are good times as there will always be bad times also but staying through together is the part of the deal that could be hard to keep.

One of the ways you can do this is by Talking. When channels of communication (talk and touch) are closed then it is the beginning of the end of even the most blissful marriages.

I emphasize on this because so many couples hardly communicate and those that do, handle it wrongly thereby missing the point they are trying to make. Others make general conclusions and just assume, forgetting that they are different from their spouse and will definitely see things from different angles.

Communication isn’t about words only, body language, tone of voice and even facial expressions are a part of it and not everyone has the ability to read non-verbal cues which is why I emphasize on verbal communication where partners see face to face and share their interests, plans, opinions and ideas.

When you understand how your partner communicates, it will go a long way. Women are generally emotional beings while men are logical. Men are more direct and mainly pass information but women tend to go emotional on issues putting a lot of actions into play, thereby making it a little complicated for the man to comprehend.

Men could be emotional too but not like women and this is what causes misunderstanding most times because of the different ways we communicate, we tend not to understand how our partners express themselves.

Just know women seek affirmation and connection most of the time, once this is mastered by both partners, then it is the beginning of the end of whatever crises they may be experiencing. This is key and should be put into consideration when trying to know how to fix a marriage that is broken.

Why beat around the bush when you can dialogue in a straightforward manner? So many couples fail here.

Now to how to save your marriage from divorce.

1.  Be Honest With Yourself

I think this is the very first step on how to fix a marriage that is broken. Where exactly are you in your marriage? How did you get here? What events led to the point you are in your marriage? Are you strangers living together or you are both separated by time and distance?

Take a replay of the events you have encountered, troubleshoot and discover where you need mending, fixing, dialogue whatever it is, make a note of it. Marriage can be very tough especially when you are confronted with some unpleasant surprises, yet taking the exit route so quickly isn’t the best option.

What happened to fixing things? What happened to mending things? What happened to your vows of commitment through thick and thin? As long as there’s no abuse of any kind, then I think you should be totally honest with yourself.

Take a look at you and your relationship squarely, don’t be in a rush to end things. I’ve noticed a lot of couples find it difficult to face their challenges, sometimes out of laziness or even a refusal to face their fears. But if you can get past this your marriage can work again.

Another area you need to look into is how did you contribute to the state of your marriage? It will be easy to blame your partner for everything that went wrong but look at the man in the mirror first. That man is you. You are a part of the retrogression in your relationship also. Offenses will definitely come but look past it to things that have been done to hurt you repeatedly.

Remember some of these differences could have occurred because of individual differences. There are some you definitely can’t cope with that your spouse will need to change, but believe me, the truth is there are some things you may have to live with.

Recognise where you need to compromise and meet in the middle. There are compromises married couples need to make when confronted with how to fix a marriage that is broken.

2.  Be Open About It

This is another great step on how to fix a marriage that is broken. This could be really hard especially when things are not as they used to be between you two. But you have to make a commitment to set aside your differences and have an honest talk about what you both are facing.

You don’t have to pretend to be fine, neither do you have to come across as rude by putting forth your displeasure with hurting words. But you two should be free to express yourselves without being interrupted and you should try to use simple words that your mate understands.

Don’t talk about leaving the relationship straight on or asking for divorce, instead tell your partner your concerns and it’s getting to you. Give examples of issues that have occurred, Tell them you feel things are not like they used to be and you are sharing how you feel about it.

You may not have talked about this before so you need to hear their own side. They may be seeing things differently and since you are a team you need to hear them out. State your commitment to making the relationship work and also demand the same from your mate.

Apologise where you need to also and mean it. Just say it. Commit to making your actions follow through so that your mate can believe you.

3.  Focus On Making The Relationship Work

By this, I mean determining to make the relationship work by deciding not to trade blame. When you keep looking at what your partner did and overlooking yours, issues will hardly ever be resolved. While you learn to take responsibility for your actions, try to avoid the blame trade game.

Own up and apologize and where you have been wronged, state clearly. Meet in the middle of your offense, commit to taking correction, it’s not about who’s right or wrong anymore but about your commitment.

After misunderstandings with my man sometimes, I sit back to reflect and find out that most misunderstandings stem from our ego, inability to let go and the need to always be right and our partners wrong. I then decided to try and work on seeking peace and preserving our bond instead of being right and losing my mate.

Want to get back your mate, read along as you discover more ways on how to fix a marriage that is broken.

4.  Commit To Giving Your All

This appears hard to do sometimes but commitments demand 100 percent always, 50 won’t do. When you place commitment above your individual differences, it will be easier to love and cherish your spouse. You will see them as top on your priority list.

In the process of trying to know how to fix a marriage that is broken, you both should express your expectations and both work towards meeting each other’s needs and where there will be constraints, it should be expressed so that hopes are not raised and dashed. By doing this, you recognize where you both failed and commit to avoiding repetition in the future.

When you can clearly express your needs and understand the needs of your spouse, then you are well on your way of knowing how to fix a marriage that is broken.

5.  Take A Trip Back In Time

Another step on how to fix a marriage that is broken is to recall sweet memories of times you had together, your dating years and when you just got married. Your mate was probably never like this.

Could they be under pressure, could it be that they are experiencing failed expectations or even faced with the reality of what it means to be married? Then you need to be understanding. Learn to touch your mate again like you used to, learn to play and laugh out loud as well.

Don’t hold back on complimenting them for kind gestures no matter how little, compliment the wrinkles that appeared on their face as a result of what you have been through together, compliment the bulging stomach that refused to return after childbirth, commend the balding process on your man’s head as a result of the times he had to stay awake thinking of how to pay the bills.

There will always be something to compliment, search it out. You can succeed in your journey of how to fix a marriage that is broken if you put your heart into it.

6.  Go Past The Pain

Begin to seek for channels to rejuvenate. Go on outings, take out time to explore nature sometimes together, take a trip together, just be in each other’s face, spend time together. Forget about the issues you are currently facing. Put your love and commitment towards each other above the pain you are experiencing.

Concentrate more on each other and do things for each other. The essence of this is to make you both bond again. Your misunderstandings have created a chasm between you two that you need to close up.

Talk more of those traits you love the most about your partner, focus on their strengths while you are enjoying your vacation together. Relive old times, dredge up memories, tell stories of your earlier times together, play and laugh together. This is one of the ways on how to fix a marriage that is broken.

7.  Go For Counseling

There are professionals and experts when it comes to relationship and marital issues, why not talk to them? You may be ‘team’ I don’t want anybody in my business, but how far have you come trying to fix things yourself?

Don’t ignore help to save your drowning relationship when one is readily available. It could be a great decision to learn how to fix a marriage that is broken from the experts.

Why do you need one you may be asking? Seeing a counsellor will help you see things from their own point of view. You have been fixed on yours for a long time now, try seeing things from another point of view.

Counsellors are experienced and understand some challenges you may be having, their advice would come in handy. I know sometimes your partner may not want help especially when it seems as if their mind is made up, but it takes just one person who is committed to make things work.

Until you give up, you can still save your marriage. This is how to save a marriage when only one is trying.

8.  Take A Break

While you are focusing on your marriage, can you just take a break and return to yourself? I mean, this has a lot more to do with you than your partner. If you are broken then you also need healing and in fact, you come first so you can be strong to heal your marriage.

Now you have realised all you did or didn’t do that brought about the break down of your marriage and you are beginning to take steps on how to fix a marriage that is broken but you also need to heal. You need to work on yourself too.

Your self-esteem may have been marred, your creativity dampened and even self-love may have been reduced to the barest minimum, but you really need to come back to yourself.

9.  Follow Your Instincts

Women are generally gifted when it comes to understanding gut feelings. It has personally saved me from several unpleasant situations or giving me prior knowledge before it comes to the open. I say this because of issues of infidelity and cheating. Here, I’m not just referring to women only but both genders.

Are you on the edge of divorce because your spouse cheated or you suspect they are cheating? Do you have proof or they are mere speculations or assumptions? Pardon my choice of words as I am not mocking your pain but trying to get to the heart of how you feel currently. Permit me to say that your spouse cheated doesn’t mean you should end your marriage.

There are a few things to understand when it comes to infidelity in marriage. The reason partners cheat ranges from a whole lot of issues. From lack of care, attention to lack of satisfaction or even failed expectations, I could go on and on but that’s not why I’m writing.

I’m writing to tell you that your marriage can still work. I’m not in any way making excuses for your spouse for cheating on you but I’m saying you can decide not to allow it to break your bond.

I believe you must have passed the confrontation point where you contributed your spouse and they owned up or did not even own up and now you are left with the option of staying or leaving. Could you try the following steps as you try all you can on how to fix a broken marriage after cheating.

A.  Ask Your Partner If They Are Willing To start All Over Again With You

Better put, this is a straightforward way of asking your spouse if they will rather stay with you or break ties with their partner. If they are ready to fix what’s left of your marriage, then they should be willing to let go of their partners.

Their relationship outside has got to stop. There also has to be proof and they should be willing to go the extra mile to prove that they can be trusted again. That means there have to be changes in their way of life. They may be open with their phones, stop keeping late nights or keep their conversations with people open.

B.  Renew Your Commitment To Loving Them Again

This may be a very difficult thing to do especially when trust has been broken but you can do it. Let your partner know you love them and you are willing to go all the way with them if they commit completely to you.

C.  Learn To Trust Again

I understand that the picture of them being with someone else the whole time you trusted them will keep playing in your head but you really need to move past this. Begin to watch for changes and try to believe that they have changed. Let go of the past.

The way you relate with them can encourage them to begin to feel completely at ease with you and being better spouses again. This is how to fix a broken marriage after cheating.

10.  Fan The Flames Of Romance Again

Do not shy away from this aspect. You are committed to each other, the need to be loved, cared for, appreciated and complimented also but all these will work better when romance is rekindled again. It may begin from a few light kisses and to several touches before you can hit it off as lovers again especially when you have both stayed away from each other.

You do not need to rush things, take it one step at a time and gain the trust of your partner by being loving and caring, that way you could win their hearts.

Bringing back marriage from the trenches of divorce is no child’s play. It requires work, commitment and the desire to see through to the end. What will keep you going through it all is the commitment you made to stay with each other regardless of the wind life blows at you.

It’s going to be hot sometimes and cold some other time but being focused and being willing to see the best in each other will take you through.

Don’t be deceived into thinking there is someone out there better than your spouse. As true as this may sound, remember you are not married to them and your partner choose you instead of them.

So, roll up your sleeves and get into your toolbox, search for mechanisms on how to fix a marriage that is broken. I’m waiting to read your success story.

Whether you’re fully submerged in the dating world and swiping left and right on Tinder, or you’re in a committed LTR with a few hiccups and unnecessary fights here and there, we can all use a little room for improvement when it comes to our dating lives. In fact, your love life should not leave you exhausted, strained, or questioning like a particularly dramatic episode of Sex and the City. It should leave you happy, energized, and inspired. If it’s not, you have some work to do.

If you are single with no desire to settle down (though I utterly despise that saying), more power to you. You’ve achieved the life most of us wish we could, and this article is not for you. But if you’re currently in a relationship, or are looking for a relationship, here’s how to make it the happiest relationship of your life:

1. Change your mindset.

I, too, am guilty of never internally taking the blame for setbacks in my dating life. It’s so much easier to complain with friends (“why are all boys so stupid!?”) or point out flaws in my partner that are “limiting us from achieving utter happiness!” But let’s get real — the only person in the world you can control is yourself. Once you realize that, and I don’t mean read it off of this article on The Everygirl, but I mean really realize that, you see the power in changing the way you think, instead of hoping the people around you change.

If you’re looking for a relationship, first know what you deserve, and don’t make any exceptions (more on that below). Also reflect on the patterns that might be limiting you from finding the right person — are you insecure and not really open to dating, or are you only considering the same type of person you know is wrong for you? If you are in a relationship, focus on what you can be doing to make the relationship stronger. Often times, when we see the good in people, it brings out even more good. The same goes with your relationships — see the good, and the other person will be motivated to become better as well.

2. Brutal honesty is the best policy.

One of the best lessons I’ve learned from my current relationship is that the best relationships in the world have to have brutal honesty. If you don’t feel you can be totally transparent with the person you’re with — whether it’s out of worry that their feelings will be hurt/they’ll get mad, or that they will judge your true self — you might not be with the right person. You will feel pitfalls and doubts in even good relationships, and being able to talk through and work through the most hurtful doubts with your partner (with support and understanding) is what separates a long-lasting, happy relationship from a breakup.

If you’re dating, brutal honesty is key to finding the right relationship. Share your deepest fears and dreams early on. If you don’t like Thai food or think football is boring, don’t pretend to like it to get someone else to like you. One day you’ll find someone who hates Pad Thai as much as you do, and would rather watch the Cooking Channel than NFL — and you’ll be so happy you never settled for less.

3. Know your deal breakers.

In order to get the relationship you want, you need to know the relationship you want. Think of the factors that are so deeply and utterly important to you that you wouldn’t be willing to compromise under any circumstances. This is not your list of “dream” traits. This is a list of non-negotiables. Think: doesn’t wants children, isn’t nice to servers, misogynistic, or doesn’t have a good sense of humor. Don’t consider someone who has any of your deal breakers, and if you’re in a relationship, trust that everyone has flaws — as long as all of your deal breakers are met, work on loving your person through their flaws and getting better together.

4. Love being alone.

It may sound counterintuitive since the point of this article is, indeed, how to successfully partner up. But more attractive to potential or current partners than the way you look is the confidence you exude. Plus, enjoying your alone time will ensure you’re in a relationship for the right reasons, and that you won’t settle for less than you want and deserve in order to stop being alone.

Be so in love with your own life that you’d rather be in a happy relationship with yourself than a toxic relationship with anyone else. Take yourself out to dinner, read a great book, or make yourself a nice bath at home. Also work on fulfilling your own needs — if you’re insecure, don’t expect your partner to make you feel better and get angry at them when they don’t know how to. In fact, don’t need anything from your partner at all. Enjoy them and let them make you a better person, but don’t expect them to fill any holes.

5. Fight the right way.

The honest truth, even in the dream relationship you’ve always wanted, is that you will fight. It’s about the way you fight that makes all the difference in the health and happiness of your relationship. Make requests instead of complaints, take turns talking, and know when to take a pause when the argument gets too heated. As a couple, work on improving the way you disagree as much as you work on the other aspects of your relationship, even when it isn’t necessarily romantic or fun.

6. Ask “how’s your day?” every day.

One of the simplest and most important things you could do to improve your relationship is to ask your partner “how was your day?” and actually care about the answer. Perfect the art of conversation — know how to make your partner feel heard, ask follow-up questions instead of just listening to what they have to say, and share your opinions or thoughts once they’re done sharing with you. When your partner feels like you care about more than you have to, and actually want to be a part of everything they do, it subconsciously creates a new level of teamwork, love, and intimacy.

7. Be more affectionate.

Speaking of intimacy, physical affection may not be the determining factor between a happy, life-long relationship and a short, toxic one (we all knew that on-again-off-again couple in high school that would make out by the lockers far too often), but it is what separates a close friendship from a lasting romance. You won’t always feel the “passion” you once did in the beginning of your relationship (and if you do, please DM me for your secrets), but a little bit goes a long way when keeping the spark alive. Hold hands, kiss outside of your routine (meaning more often than just to say “goodbye” or “goodnight”), and hug often.

8. Care more about the way your partner responds to conflict than the conflict itself.

Back to that “flaws” thing — everyone has them, and your relationship will always have them (yes, even if you follow this article’s advice). Everyone makes mistakes and everyone can be impacted by negative emotions or fears. If your partner responds to your hurt feelings or anger with genuine support, understanding, and remorse, and cares more about your feelings than about being right, forgive them. Don’t bring up past fights or mistakes, and think about each disagreement like it’s you two against the problem (instead of you against them).

9. Learn each other’s stress patterns.

Even if you’re the two most compatible people on the planet, it’s likely that you deal with stress in different ways. And guess what — stress is not going away when you achieve that perfect relationship or find the perfect person. You’ll still come home from work angry about what your boss said at the meeting, and they’ll still get road rage when they’re running late in traffic. Knowing how the other person wants their stress to be handled makes all the difference. Communicate if you’d rather them listen when you vent, or if you want help fixing a problem. Also share how you’d feel most acknowledged in your moments of stress — even something simple will make you feel like you can lean on your partner, and vice versa.

10. Show love through your partner’s love language

So the ability to be loving is obviously crucial in a happy relationship, right? But what about the ability to be loving in not just your language, but in your partner’s? Yes, the good ol’ reliable love languages — my favorite relationship quiz of all time. If you haven’t heard of the life-changing love life phenomenon, learn about it here, and think of ways to show love to your partner that corresponds with their love language. If it’s Words of Affirmation, plan to randomly text them compliments throughout the week; if it’s Acts of Service, do their laundry before they get home. Showing love in the way that your partner feels it is one of the greatest secrets to relationship success.

11. Work on goals together.

Don’t just focus on making each other happy in the relationship — think of how to feel more fulfilled in all areas of life, and then pursue your goals together. Whether that’s brainstorming together for your new project at work or hitting the gym and eating better when your partner wants to be healthier, accomplish what you want out of life with their support, and be there however you can with what they’re trying to achieve. Help each other become the best version of yourselves for a fulfilling life.

12. Say “thank you” every day.

Any relationship expert will tell you that gratitude is the secret to a happy relationship. In order to keep seeing the glass half full in your relationship (even when the kids are screaming, the bills are piling up, and the glass is so not full), make it a habit to wake up every day and think of three things you’re grateful for in your partner, and tell them those things. Say thank you often, whether it’s for out of the ordinary occurrences (like planning a date night) or part of the everyday routine you expect of them (like unloading the dishwasher or walking the dog so you get to sleep in an extra 10 minutes).

13. Create an intention by asking yourself what kind of person you want to be.

OK, so this sounds like a quote straight out of a self-help book, but hear me out — research has shownthat this simple question could be a gateway to achieving the kind of love you want — more specifically, ask yourself what kind of partner you want to be. Asking the question is not just about seeking out the right kind of partner, it actually gives you intention in navigating your relationships. It’s basically a vessel to self-connection, helping you criticize less and love more.

Have you tried any of these tips and tricks to get the relationship that you want?

Whether you’ve been dating your partner for six months or have been married to him or her for five years, relationships are created from commitment and are continued due to mutual respect and effort. To say your connection is special would be an understatement — and to not wish to enhance it would be unfortunate.

While every relationship is different, no relationship is perfect. By doing these 10 things to improve your bond, you won’t only ensure a quality relationship with your partner, but you’ll also prove that you’re determined to work for one.

1. Ask your partner something new

Communication is the determining factor of success for every relationship. It’s nice to ask how your partner’s day went, but it’s boring when you ask over and over again. Enhance your conversation by putting in the extra effort to question your significant other on something more specific. Through this adjusted approach, you avoid falling into routine and begin holding more meaningful discussions.

2. Designate a monthly date night

Amongst both of your busy schedules and nonstop responsibilities, the most foolproof way to guarantee that you make time for each other is to set a night every month dedicated to doing just that. Regardless of if you’re looking to spice up your relationship or wanting an activity that doesn’t include Netflix, the commitment to go on a date is one night — but the happiness that comes from it will last much longer.

3. Express your appreciation

The comfort that a relationship brings is the reason we tend to overlook what our partners do and treat their acts of kindness as our forms of expectation instead. To put it honestly, your partner doesn’t have to fill your gas tank or buy your favorite ice cream — he or she chooses to, and your acknowledgment of this type of effort will reinforce your partner to be thoughtful and remind you to feel thankful.

4. Tweak your schedule

We know — you’re independent and don’t plan on stopping your life for anyone (and you shouldn’t have to). Even though you have other commitments outside of your relationship, it’s a kind gesture to compare both of your schedules to see if it’s possible to spend more time together.

Maybe your partner can go to the gym a little earlier to attend the movie premiere you wanted to attend, or maybe you can wake up earlier to get your projects done so that you can make it to your partner’s intramural game. While you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your life to satisfy your partner, your ability to compromise should be enough to make him or her happy.

5. Remember the small things

Another way to add meaning to your conversation is to truly listen to what your significant other is saying — and talk about it in the future. If your partner mentions a conversation that he or she wants to have with a manager, take note on your calendar and remember to ask about it the day of. The fact that you’re able to refer back to the topics and details that your partner spoke about is one that will touch him or her. Overall, it’s the little things that mean the most, and there’s no better way to show this than starting with your relationship.

6. Let go of the past

As a culprit for many potential arguments and the underlying issue for future ones, what happens in the past doesn’t always stay there — and it’s difficult to move forward in a relationship when you’re still thinking about what happened in it from another time.

If you find yourself continuing to dwell on the past, it might be a sign to take a step back and consider why — are you naturally less forgiving or is what happened something you can’t seem to forgive? By focusing on the reason for this reccuring feeling, you’ll find more clarity within yourself and what you want from the relationship with your partner.

7. Show your affection

Along with expressing your gratitude to your partner, expressing actions to show how much you care about him or her is also suggested. From grabbing your partner’s hand at a restaurant to going to bed together at the end of the night, you know how you feel about your partner, and he or she should be able to witness it as well.

8. Learn your partner’s boundaries

Does your partner wish to be left alone when he or she is upset? Does he or she mind that you want to text throughout the day? These questions are simple, but the answers to them will help you understand the boundaries of your partner — and stop you from crossing them. Overall, your partner’s sense of privacy is most likely different from yours, and knowing his or her boundaries is the best way to respect them.

9. Know when to apologize

Sometimes being right isn’t as important as being compassionate. Whereas conflicts with your significant other will vary, not every argument is a challenge that needs to be won. Don’t get us wrong — we aren’t telling you to take blame for everything, but to decide which battles are worth fighting for. Although there’s glory in knowing you’re right, there’s maturity in apologizing during an argument that isn’t as important as the person you’re arguing with.

10. Make time to focus on yourself

How we feel about ourselves is how we’ll act in a relationship — for example, if you lack confidence in yourself, you’ll look for assurance in your relationship. To prevent any toxic behaviors from happening with your partner, it’s essential to have a strong sense of self. Invest in a new hobby, make plans with some friends, and take steps in discovering who you are as a person. By falling in love with yourself, you’ll naturally be your own best version for the person who happens to be falling in love with you

Males are seen by society as the stronger gender who need no loving or protecting, and people who will always be good regardless, but this is not true. Men have valid needs just like women do, and it’s your responsibility as his woman to attend to most of them, at least. But how do you satisfy needs you know nothing about?

Well, here’s a list of some of the things men want in a relationship.

TO BE LOVED THE WAY THEY ARE

Love can make people do anything, even the ones they’re most uncomfortable with. Your man has probably tried to impress you all the while you’ve been together, but the truth is that deep down, he wishes you’d just take him the way he is, and he doesn’t have to impress you. It’s not a bad thing to reassure your man that you love him regardless of looks or status; it goes a long way in boosting his confidence.

UNDYING SUPPORT

Men are also humans, and they need support in every way you can imagine. When he goes broke financially, he deep-down expects you to assist in whatever way you can, especially if you can. When he is suffering emotional trauma or pressure from maybe work, he also needs some love and attention.

TO BE PAMPERED

Women love to be pampered, and so do men. Men appreciate it when you get them gifts, cook their favourite meal, take them out to the movies, etc. This is one of the many things that make them human, you know?

REAL INTIMACY

When a man loves you, he expects the same in return. No man is happy with just a fling when he is very much interested in you; he doesn’t want to just have a moment in the sheet with you, he also needs some loving and a deeper relationship.

MUTUAL RESPECT

It doesn’t matter how playful a man gets, if he respects you, he also expects the same. No man is happy being undermined or disrespected by his own woman. In fact, he even expects you to defend him in public.

A FUN RELATIONSHIP

No matter how serious one is, there’s always that one person with whom they’re totally loose and free. Your man appreciates a bit of fun and craziness from you now and then.

1) He’s always happy to see you.

No matter how hard his day has been or the fact that he may be super tired from work, but he gets a smile on his face when he sees you. You’re the light of his life and be proud of it.

2) He patiently listens to you.

It’s true when we say that girls can keep talking endlessly, but if a guy is truly interested in you, he will listen to anything you have to say patiently. He won’t complain that you talk too much because he knows you look lovely when you speak your heart out.

3) He respects your opinions.

If you have something to say about his haircut, clothes, or randomly something related to worldly affairs as well, he will take your opinion into consideration. If your opinions matter to him, so do you.

4) He doesn’t mind you taking up most of the bed.

Even though you’re a tiny person, he still lets you take up most of the space on the bed just to squeeze in a tiny spot himself. Now that’s a keeper!

5) He’s always there to help.

Whether you’re sick, or you need help with groceries, or you’ve only had a hard day at work, your boyfriend is there to look after you no matter what.

6) He remembers important dates

It’s pretty incredible when your boyfriend remembers important dates like anniversaries, birthdays etc. It means that the dates that you influenced his life are very important to him as well.

7) He surprises you for no reason

It doesn’t have to be anything grand, but sometimes he shows up at your doorstep with cupcakes that you really like or he manages to drop by at your workplace for lunch. These little things are sure signs that your man is falling for you.

8) He enjoys the things you like

Even if it is going to the spa on Sunday instead of watching a football game. He likes to accompany you because he cares about your interests.

9) He likes to get romantic with you.

For him, romance doesn’t mean getting into your pants. He loves to spend time without so that he can get to know you better instead of just showing you the way to his bedroom.

10) He’s proud of you.

He treats you like his princess and boasts about even the smallest achievements you make.

11) He’s protective of you.

That doesn’t mean he will go beat up every other guy who speaks to you. But your man will definitely defend you in front of his friends and do anything because you’re his girl.

A video making the rounds on social media shows the moment a lady turned down her lover’s proposal in public.

In the video, the excited boyfriend who couldn’t wait to engage his girlfriend, went down on his knees and stretched out an engagement ring to her.

However, the lady turned down the proposal in the presence of eye witnesses and friends. She claimed that they were never dating and they were only friends with each other.

The heartbroken boyfriend insisted that they have been dating for 7 years now, and he was shocked that she would turn down his proposal in public.

Watch the video below;

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In the world of today, not only men are looking for love however some women are busily out there flaunting all the assets they have for the sake of love.

A beautiful lady called Rayopearl took to social media to cry out for her only wish of wanting a man to be fulfilled.

She wrote;

I really need a guy in my life

Below are some photos of Rayopearl.

Magazine headlines and online articles often draw us in by headlines that promise to tell us the secrets to pleasing our men.

Why Am I Single? I’m not sure why, but this has been a question I’ve heard a lot in the last week or two. Asked by a variety of people. (random strangers at Target, friends and family, Facebook friends, networking events, church events, and so on).

They’d ask “Why are you single?… Why aren’t you married? How has someone not snatched you up yet?, etc.”

Those who are married or in a relationship, your intentions may be good.  But, that can be a tough, semi frustrating question to answer. It often leaves us single folks doubting ourselves. At least that’s what happened to me. 

After hearing it so much in one week, the enemy used it against me and had me questioning myself, filling my head with doubts, and wondering “Wait… why am I single?” Briefly.

Then, I stood against the enemy and remembered why. I’m single because I choose to be.

I’m single because I’ve made the mistake of not waiting on who God had in store for me and I refuse to do it again.

I’m single because I’m a busy, single mom with a full time job,  and it’s hard to find a man who understands that Sundays are the only nights I can generally go on a date.

Most importantly, I’m single because that’s what He wants for me. I’m single because this time, I want to wait patiently on The Lord.

I often look back to Ruth and how patient she was. She’s proof that waiting patiently is OK. In this waiting period, God is working in me and my heart.  He’s refining my soul and developing a level of patience in me that I didn’t know was possible. I’ll let Him continue to mold me. 

Why Am I Single?

I believe while He’s working in me, He’s also preparing my future husband to be the man and leader God intends for His Daughter. Sure, being single has it’s not so good moments. However, settling into a relationship or marriage outside of His will is a lot worse. I’ve done that before and each time it ended in unnecessary heartaches and led me off His path.

I now realize, just as God can use the right people to get you closer to Him, satan will use the wrong people to pull you away.

I’m single because I’ve decided to seek after God’s standards and not my own. Earlier this year, I ended a new relationship, that initially seemed amazing, but He wasn’t who God planned for me. I had to set aside MY desires for HIS. Later, I learned that my obedience saved me from a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

Am I saying the man God has in store for me is perfect? OF COURSE NOT! And I know that I’m far from it. I stumble and I am reminded daily that I need a savior.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Yes… the Bible is clear about being equally yoked. That doesn’t mean we are perfect–it simply means that together we will grow our relationship with Christ and He’ll be our #1. I should be loved just as Christ loves the church.

The man He has in store for me will love me enough to LEAD ME closer to Him, will be faithful, will honor and respect my walk and will walk beside me.

Oh, and he’ll be okay with Sundays being our only date nights. So, I’m single because I’m choosing to wait until that man is put in my life by the One who knows me best.

I’m confident with who I am in Christ. I KNOW my worth isn’t defined by my looks or relationship status.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

On that note: Ladies: it’s okay to be happy with YOURSELF.  Don’t get too caught up on looks. Be secure in who you are as His Daughter. If not, those insecurities will keep you from being truly happy.  From being His best. There isn’t a man or relationship out there who can give you that. That can only come from the One who created you.

The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:34)

So yeah, I’m single and  I’m rejoicing in all that He’s brought in to my life during this time of being single. I’m thankful for how much I’ve grown. I’m thankful He’s called me to use this time to serve at the Church, give more, and restructure my circle to include friends who understand.

Most importantly, I’m able to do these things without distraction. I want you ladies to know that it’s perfectly fine to be happily single and steadfast with your standards.

It’s okay to be thankful for this chapter and what God can do in your life as a single woman. Cherish these times. He will bless you abundantly-far more than you can imagine.

Just trust His timing. Be Ruth and trust Him with your Boaz. 

Lady in despair after her boyfriend of four years introduces her to his parents as his colleague.

The boyfriend who apologies to the girlfriend for the act said he his family still abhor tribal discrimination and still accepts her ex as his current girlfriend.

See post below;

"You're not the girlfriend my parents want for me" pic.twitter.com/a58LiWbEN7

— Mr Aristócrata 🍸 (@ChuksNoble4) December 3, 2020

Here are five clear signs that your spouse might also be your best friend.

Quick to Forgive

One older couple sat in the airport quietly waiting for their flight, so a young man who had just been married went up to the couple who were holding hands and asked them, “How long have you been married?” to which they said, 62 years, so he asked them, “What’s the secret to your long marriage?” to which the man stopped and thought for a moment, but his wife answered quickly, saying, “Forgive one another.” Wow! That seems so simple, yet so profound. Aren’t you quick to forgive your best friend when they apologize? How much more so for your spouse?

Talk About Anything or Nothing

A best friend is someone who you can take a long trip with and not be worried about “awkward silences” or you can talk with them for the entire 4 hour trip. The point is, your spouse is your best friend when you can sit comfortably and say nothing or sit there and say anything. Just like your best friend, you don’t have to worry about entertaining them, but can just be yourself. Those are friends who know each other well enough to not have to force conversation. That’s a great sign your spouse also happens to be your best friend.

Being with Them

If you’d rather sit at home with your spouse and spend a quite evening with them watching a movie, rather than be with your friends, then your spouse is clearly your best friend. In fact, I became best friends with my wife and then I married her. It’s what couples do all the time…they become friends and then marry their best friend. If you’d rather be at home with your spouse than out with your friends, then clearly, your spouse must be your best friend.

Sharing Everything

I value my friends. I have a very close, personal friend who I share things with that I don’t anyone else, but my wife even more so. I tell her things that I wouldn’t tell anyone else on the planet. That’s because I can trust her. She doesn’t repeat things to other people or to my mother-in-law. We can share the happy times and the times when we’re sad. We share the good and the bad…just like best friends do.

Knowing their Thoughts

I have had a few occasions where my wife knew what I was thinking because she knows me well enough that she can even finish my sentences. When your spouse knows your preferences, what you like and don’t like, and what you might do in a given situation, then your spouse is also your best friend. I can sometimes know what she’s thinking (not always of course) and she can sometimes know what I’m thinking…that’s what best friends do, but the difference is, I married mine.

Conclusion

If you and your spouse are happy to do anything together or simply do nothing together, then that’s a solid sign you’ve married your best friend, but couples who consider their spouse their best friend also are quick to forgive, are comfortable talking about anything or nothing, would rather be with them than their friends, and they share everything, good and bad, happy and sad, and knows your likes and dislikes almost as well as you do.

May God richly bless you,

It would be naïve of parents to think their child won’t develop love interests at various times in their high school years. Indeed, belittling our teens for having feelings is the quickest way to ensure they never come to talk to us, about relationships, as they get older.

But how young is too young for a romantic relationship?

Romantic interests are normal

Romantic interests are a completely normal part of growing up. However, it’s what teens do with that interest and how you handle your teen’s emerging feelings that matters. So when should kids start dating?

How young is too young?

Parents shouldn’t rush their young teens into intense romantic relationships. Neurologically, they are still trying to figure out who they are, and teens can become clingy and over-attached when they try to find their identity or meaning in a romantic partner.

Evidence suggests younger teens often experience more costs and fewer benefits when involved in a romantic relationship—that is, teens describe their early relationships as more stressful and less supportive (compared to older teens and young adults who find the levels of affection, companionship and intimacy more rewarding). So when we encourage our kids to delay dating until the latter part of the teen years, we aren’t being cruel.

(As an aside, teens are not misfits if they are not yet romantically involved by the later high school or early young adult years either.)

So how do you broach the subject of dating and romantic love with your teens?

In Conversation

• Know that ‘love education‘ is important to teens.
• Be careful not to shut down the potential for conversations with your teen, by either embarrassing them or laughing off their romantic feelings as “silly” or “childish”.
• Acknowledge their feelings and talk about what qualities they find attractive and what qualities they don’t.
• Occasionally chat about your own time growing up and the feelings and difficulties you had.
• Avoid labelling every girl / guy relationship as something romantic.
• Encourage teens to realise that they don’t need to “find themselves” in another person.
• Discuss the media stereotypes around romantic love.
• Help build up your child’s sense of personal value.
• Encourage them to be involved in many areas of life such as friendships, hobbies, sports and other interests.
• Remind them that romance is only one dimension of us as whole people.
• Group dates or gatherings with a bunch of girls and boys in public places or homes, supervised by an adult, are a healthy and safe way for young teens to learn about what they find attractive in a person and become comfortable being themselves too.

When first relationships do begin – set boundaries that make sense

When it comes to setting boundaries around the times and places your teenager spends with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, use logic and reason. Respect their intelligence. Don’t simply forbid certain activities or insist on times to be home – just because you say so. Rather, have a few clear boundaries and explain why these are in place in your home. For example, boundaries might include time you expect your teen home from dates on weekends or school holidays vs during exam times. This will help your teenager understand that you’re not merely imposing arbitrary rules. Some teens may not like your most well-intentioned boundaries, but that is a normal teen reaction.

About the Author: Collett Smart is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker and internationally published author. She lives with her husband and 3 children in Sydney, Australia. The heart of Collett’s work is to support and bring Hope to parents of tweens and teens.

Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33

Here are four relationships you need to run from, as fast as you can!

The Companion of Fools

Whoever runs with those who run with the Devil is destined to be ruined. When I was young, before I was married, I had a friend whom I lived with who had sticky fingers. Meaning, she was a thief, and I was only asking for trouble in running around with her.

Sure enough, we ended up on a late-night country road, and she and her boyfriend broke into and robbed some cabins by the river.

Even though I didn’t break and enter with them, I was guilty by association.

The proverb is true: Whoever runs with fools will suffer harm (Prov 13:20).

I used to operate under the assumption that all men were like fine wine they get better with age. I sincerely believed that as a man would grow older, he would gain a better understanding of what it really means to be a person of value in this world. I used to really think that men would just gain a more profound understanding of love and relationships as time goes by. I thought all men were just destined to get better as they get older. But I thought wrong. Not all men get better. In fact, a vast majority of men don’t know what it means to grow and develop as human beings. So many men don’t understand that importance of personal growth and maturity. A lot of men don’t know what it means to push past their own personal peaks.

It’s important to stress however that not all men are the same. There are a few outliers out there who give us hope. They give us a reason to still believe that men can be better if they wanted to. There are a bunch of men out there who really understand that life is a journey of perpetual growth and one can never be content with just staying in place. These men know that they need to constantly be working and hustling to gain for themselves the lives that they truly want. But for now, these men continue to elude me. I can never seem to catch them within my crosshairs. At this very moment, I can’t seem to find anyone who is actually worthy of my time, effort, commitment, and love.

And this is the important thing to really keep in mind. We can’t afford to be wasting our time with just anyone or anything that just isn’t worth it anymore. We have to know that our time is valuable. In fact, it’s the most valuable thing we could ever receive in life; and it’s the most precious thing that we could ever give to another person. Time is fleeting and it’s not something that we can just negotiate for. It’s not something that we can just ask more of from the universe. It’s something that’s given to us, and when our time is up, that’s it. There is no bargaining involved or anything. We take what we get and we give what we can. And that’s why we can’t afford to just go on like this. We can’t afford to keep on giving our time to people who just don’t deserve it. We can’t be offering our time to people who would never give us any of their time in return. We can’t be so willing to just give our time to men just because they have a cute smile or a witty pick-up line. We can’t just be so welling to spend time with a man who has a chiseled physique and a strong chin. It has to go deeper than that. Our time is worth so much more than that.

I really want a quality man a man who is actually worthy of my time. No. Scratch that. I don’t want a quality man. I need a quality man. We all need a quality man because otherwise, it would be better to just be alone than in a relationship that’s actually not worth the effort. We can’t just be content with being with a man who looks good as we walk down the street together. We can’t just be content with looking for a trophy man we can show off to people at parties and events. We need someone who doesn’t just look the part. We need someone who has the kind of personality that matches the exterior. We need a man of depth who can actually add value and perspective to our lives. We shouldn’t be so quick to fall victim to the aesthetics of love we need to go deeper.

I’m looking for a guy who’s actually willing to walk the walk; not just someone who talks a big game. I need to be with a man who overdelivers. I don’t want someone who overhypes and underwhelms. I need to be with someone who promises me nothing but still gives me everything. I don’t want to make any more time for men who are just looking to play around. I don’t want to be with a man who isn’t going to take me seriously. I’m not looking to be with a man who is going to be reckless with his love. I need to be with someone who genuinely understands me and my personal needs. I need a man who can actually give the kind of effort that I expect him to give. I need to be with someone who is worthy of my time; someone who is worthy of my love.

It doesn’t mater if the relationship you had with one another got hot and heavy or not. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t really get the chance to go deep with your feelings with one another. The very fact that you expressed an interest in her and that you made a move was more than enough. You manage to grab her attention and that did her in. You had her hooked and there was nothing that she could do about it. That’s just really the way that she is. She immediately gets attached to any man who gives her the slightest bit of attention. She is a strong girl who seems to fall in love and grow attached a little too easily.

All it really took was a simple wink and a smile and you sent her into a downward spiral. That did it in for her. That was enough to make her knees weak and her boots shake. She had here eyes set on you and there was no ungluing her gaze from you. She was hooked. You had her on a leash and she didn’t want out of it. She grew attached to you to the idea of the two of you being together.

Now don’t mistake of branding her with someone who is shallow or as someone who lacks a general resolve to pursue depth and understanding. She didn’t become attached to you just because you had a pretty face. She didn’t become attached to you just because you flashed those pearly whites at her or that you let her gaze deep into your eyes longingly. She didn’t become attached to you because of your strong chin and the subtle ruggedness of your facial stubble. She became attached to you because you actually made her feel significant you actually gave her the validation that she has been desperately looking for in other people. You actually made her feel like she has a place in this world that she has fighting so hard to be a part of since she was born. She is so used to being ignored and overlooked she clung to you the moment you chose to shine the spotlight on her for a bit.

She got attached to you because for a brief moment, she envisioned for herself the possibility of a happy and bright future a future that involved you.

She’s damaged, but aren’t we all? She is broken inside and she’s trying to make the best out of what she’s being given. She has many emotional wounds and scars. She has many weaknesses but that doesn’t mean that she’s weak. She has been let down so many times before by so many different people. But that doesn’t mean that she’s lost hope in the world. That doesn’t mean that she’s lost hope in love and in humanity. She still believes in the power of love in the capacity of people to actually make a positive change with love. The truth is that she has also grown to be bitter. She has loathed people because she expects so much from everyone and they just keep on letting her down. But that doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t be willing to welcome anyone into her life with open arms. She still maintains that firm belief in the great powers of positivity. She still thinks that she can leave a profound mark on this world with her positive energy. She still maintains the hope that eventually, her belief in people is going to pay off for her substantially.

And she subtly hopes that you’re the person who is going to validate the beliefs and principles she holds so dearly to her heart.

She still clings to the hope that the guy who actually smiled at her when they first met is going to be the boy who brings her the happiness that she has been seeking for the longest time. She is hoping that the man who sent her flowers on a random day just to bring a smile to her face is going to be the man who will be responsible for the thousands of smiles she is going to have in her lifetime. She clings to the hope that you will bring to reality everything that she has been dreaming up of in her fantasies.

So don’t think that she’s weak just for getting so attached to you. It takes a great deal of strength to come back from a letdown. It takes a great deal of strength to recover from being disappointed by something you become so invested and attached to. It takes a great deal of strength to rise from the adversity of heartbreak and despair. But that’s what she’s doing. She’s allowing herself to become attached and vulnerable because she knows that she’s strong enough to take it if things don’t work out.

Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. – Psalm 127:1 

One of the most disheartening things for me is a woman who doesn’t know her worth.

Most times I can only shake my head and say a silent prayer. On other occasions, I try to get a word in, share a little bit of wisdom with them, even sharing my own personal experiences at times.

Just remember, God’s way is always the best way! When we step out of God’s will we open ourselves up for all kinds of trouble.

Here are 4 things to remember when you step outside of God’s will…

1. Your body is a temple

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own – 1 Corinthians 6:19

You are not a car on a parking lot for sale. Don’t let a man ‘test-drive’ you (nor you him). He’s not your husband and God designed sex to be between husband and wife. As one saying goes “stop giving your boyfriend husband privileges”.

Your body is God’s temple; the place where the Holy Spirit dwells (if you are a Christian). Paul says that all other sins are outside of the body but sexual sin is against it (1 Corinthians 6:18).

If you have to give it up to keep him and compromise your values…Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship with him as well as your relationship with God.

Which relationship has priority in your life? Don’t sell yourself short. Know your worth!

2. Red flags are there for a reason

Because I have called and you refused to listen, have stretched out my hand and no one has heeded, because you have ignored all my counsel and would have none of my reproof, I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when terror strikes you, when terror strikes you like a storm and your calamity comes like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come upon you. – Proverbs 1:24-27

Don’t ignore the red flags. They are God’s way of protecting you from something you can’t see.

If God does not approve of your relationship, believe you me – He will let you know. You just have to listen and act accordingly.

Don’t accept lying and cheating as a part of a relationship.

Sometimes we are so caught up in him that we are blinded by love. Accept nothing less than honesty and commitment. Know your worth!

3. There will be wolves in sheep’s clothing

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. – Ephesians 5:6

Beware of the man who’s willing to go to church and become a Christian just so that YOU can be comfortable in the relationship. This is dangerous and has the potential to backfire since he has no solid spiritual foundation.

As he becomes relaxed in the relationship, there is the strong possibility that he may revert to his old ways and where will that leave you?

Where would that leave the relationship?

Wait on God for the Godly man He’s preparing for you and you for him.

4. Separated is still married

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. – Hebrews 13:4 

Please leave the married man alone… he’s not yours!

God’s word is clear about adultery. The Bible is full of scriptures that warn us against adultery. It is so serious that there was a time when women were put to death because of it. Vows made before God are no joking matter.

The Bible is clear “You shall not commit adultery.” – Exodus 20:14

Why do you want a man who can only give you SOME of his time; a few hours a day maybe while sneaking around?

Why settle for the broken promises since his allegiance is to his wife?

Oh right…you don’t want a commitment right now so this works for you? Come on sis, want more for yourself. Know your worth!

Just remember, God’s way is always the best way!

5 Powerful Prayers to Pray Over Your Marriage

Marriage is a sacred and honored union that is created until death. However, marriage can be hard to navigate no matter how perfect the couple may seem to be.

Loving your spouse unconditionally through every moment of every day is a tough task.

We want the best for marriages; our own and the ones of those we love. We wish for marriages to be filled with love, happiness, faithfulness and communication. We strive to illuminate God in our marriages and follow the Word. We try to love the way God loves us.

When we’re having problems in our marriage, we must turn to God to ask for guidance and grace. It’s important that God is an active participant in our marriages.

No matter what stage your marriage is in, God will guide you through it. Use these prayers to strengthen the bond between you and your spouse and also with God!

A Prayer for Understanding

Father God,

You have knit us together very differently. The fibers of our temperament are vastly different, yet You brought us together to complement one another, to be strong in the other’s weakness.

How vast is Your wisdom! Thank you! Still, we need Your help to understand one another, to appreciate our differences, and to honor each other’s perspectives even when they are different from our own.

So we receive the understanding that Your Spirit has to offer. We commit ourselves to study each other’s temperaments, love languages, passions, and traits. To become experts in each other so that we can love one another more deeply. Thank you, Lord.

Let it be so. Amen.

A Prayer for a Healthy Marriage

Dear God,

I pray today for all those struggling with painful marriage conflicts. I pray for those battling anger and those suffering abuse from an angry spouse. I pray today for those battling anger within them.

I ask that You will show them simple, straightforward and productive alternatives to express these emotions.

I pray that they will have wisdom to manage their diets, the discipline to exercise their bodies, and insight to modify their work/rest patterns, and the prudence to organize their time, space, finances and relationship priorities.

God, work in the nuts and bolts of troubled marriages. Do miracles, but begin the miracle work in the simple and down to earth elements of these relationships.

As Your Word has said, ‘What God has joined together, let no human separate.’

We pray for healthy marriages in Jesus’ name, Amen!

A Prayer for My Husband

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for changing my critical heart. Thank you for forgiving me and transforming me into a supportive wife.

Thank you for giving me eyes to see all the great qualities in this husband of mine. Sure, he’s not perfect, (nor am I) but we are growing and my love and support for him only speeds that process along.

How grateful I am to You, loving Father, for giving me my man! What a joy this covenant is becoming.

Bless him today with everything he needs for life and godliness. Grant him these blessings (from Isaiah 11): wisdom, understanding, counsel, might, knowledge, and the fear of the Lord.

In Jesus’ mighty and loving name, Amen!

A Prayer for Increasing Love

Heavenly Father,

I need Your love for my spouse. Mine has come up short again, so I come to You, the fountain of all love.

I receive your everlasting love. Give me Your eyes, Your perspective, and, most of all, Your love for my beloved. I strive to learn from you Lord.

Teach me how to love unconditionally and without wavering doubt. I look forward to strengthening my love and bond with my spouse, and know that with You anything is possible for our marriage! Increase my love for my spouse so that I can better show them that they are cared for.

I receive it now in faith. Amen.

A Prayer to Love like God

Dear Lord,

I can’t seem to love my spouse like You have asked me to love. Please grant me a greater capacity to love by infusing my spirit with the knowledge of Your great love for me – unconditional, free, and never ending!

May I experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. I’ll make that my starting place.

I receive your love as I receive anything from You – with my faith. I believe that You exist and that You reward those who diligently seek You.

I am seeking You, and I receive Your reward – Your amazing love for me, Your child. Let me take this amazing love You give to me and share it with my spouse.

Teach me how to love them the way that You do! Unconditional and strong, I know a love like Yours will build a beautiful foundation for our marriage.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Your love for your spouse will grow and flourish if you accept God into your marriage. No matter where your marriage is – happy newlyweds, strained due to negativity, or flat – God will be there to help and lift your marriage up.

Increase the love you have for one another by using these prayers.