Monday, August 2, 2021

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What Are You Looking For In A Relationship (4 Things You Should)

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What are you looking for in a relationship? What are the qualities that you would like your partner to have? You should ask yourself these questions before entering a new relationship

Even though these questions seem easy enough and harmless enough, I’m sure they would catch most of us off guard. This is exactly the reason why so many relationships fail these days.

All of these online dating, social media and virtual life leave very bad consequences on our social lives. It all just messed up our priorities and we all forgot what a healthy relationship should look like.

It has become so difficult to maintain a long term relationship in these modern times because people are starting to lose touch with their real life and we have forgotten what our priorities should be in a romantic relationship.

What are you looking for in a relationship?

If someone asked you right away, “What are you looking for in a relationship?” What would your answer be?

Please don’t say real love or chemistry because it’s such a cliché. On the other hand, if you have no answer to this question at all, you should immediately have a serious and deep conversation with yourself.

It is especially important to have this question answered if you have a potential partner. If you leave this question unanswered, then your potential relationship is doomed for sure.

I know we all want to find the right person who we can be ourselves with. We all want to find our soul mate, the person who will accept us for who we are and stay with us no matter what.

However, before we even start looking for the right person, we need to define what the concept of a soul mate means to us. You need to determine and define what you are looking for in a relationship.

Defining it is really important because if you don’t do it on time, you can spend your whole life in a miserable relationship with the wrong person.

A lot of people think it’s not necessary at all because they believe that a person always knows when they meet their soul mate. This kind of thinking is a decisive factor in maintaining a healthy and serious relationship with another person.

Once you dig your own heart deeper, you’ll be able to say what you’re looking for in a relationship, which will definitely pave the way for your soulmate.

This is also precisely the purpose of the first dates. This is how we can meet a little more our potential partners and check your love compatibility.

So have a long and serious conversation with yourself. Remember your past relationships. Try to remember the reasons why all of these relationships ended. I am sure it will help you find the answer to this very important question.

What to look for in a relationship: 4 essentials for a healthy relationship

I’m sure most “relationships today” fail because people don’t really know what they want in a romantic relationship. These things differ from person to person; However, here are the most important things and values you should look for in a relationship:

1. Emotional maturity

You need that kind of relationship where you and your partner aren’t afraid to openly communicate your feelings. You need a partner who can handle and control their own emotions.

If you want a serious relationship, both parties need to have a good understanding of who they are. The two partners must be equally supportive and empathetic.

Being emotionally mature also means that you always take responsibility for your actions and know how wrong it is to blame others for your own failures. It also means that you own your mistakes and never run away from them.

Emotional maturity will also help you establish healthy boundaries that are essential for a healthy and happy relationship. It will really be much easier to maintain a good relationship with an emotionally mature person.

2. Be treated with respect

It’s definitely something we should all be looking for in a romantic relationship. If you allow others to disrespect you, it will only show that you don’t respect yourself either.

Moreover, a relationship without mutual respect is not sure to succeed. Your significant other needs to understand that you have different needs, interests, and perspectives on things in life, and they all need to be respected.

It’s so easy to tell someone you respect them, but acting with respect is what matters, and it’s much harder. If you share mutual respect, it will keep your relationship healthy and you will be a very happy couple for sure.

3. Regular communication

This is also really important for a healthy and happy relationship. Both partners should be honest, direct, and forthright when something is bothering them in the relationship.

If your partner is the type of person who doesn’t have good communication skills, you should try to make them feel more comfortable with you and open up to you.

A partner should never guess what is going on with the other. It is very important to know how to express your emotions, positive and negative, as well as some other things that bother you, but in a healthy way. It means communicating about it and avoiding getting into unnecessary conflicts.

4. Honesty

Online dating has become very popular today. A lot of people are looking for their soul mate on Tinder or other social media.

Unfortunately, most of them post fake photos and information about themselves on these dating sites because they want to appear to have a better fit with their potential partner. It’s a fact that a lot of people fake their personalities on their dating profiles.

These dating apps and all this virtual life allow people to not be honest about themselves, and this is the main cause of so many broken relationships these days. This is also the reason why these relationships tend to be more short-term.

Definitely the number one quality you should look for in a romantic partner is honesty. If you catch your partner lying too often, it’s a clear red flag that they don’t have serious and genuine intentions with you.

This Is How You’ll Know She Loves You (Even If She Doesn’t Say It)

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Now, let’s be honest. Women are complex beings… period. Before you get a wrong impression, I have to say that I, myself, am female and I definitely know how a woman’s mind operates.

One day, we desire a true gentleman who will do all those romantic gestures and make us feel like we’re the only girl in the world. The next day, we desire a man who is a little bit less gentle and more, let’s say, “dangerous”.

One day, we want to be dominant, and the next day, we want to be submissive.

At one moment, we show you that we love you more than anything in the world, and after a few days, we start questioning things.

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So, how in the world can a man know what exactly is going on in a woman’s mind at a certain moment, right? How can you know if that one woman truly loves you?

Should you wait for her to say it or are there more things to it that you need to pay attention to? Hmm…

Some women aren’t that good at expressing their emotions (which can be a problem)

serious woman carefully listening to a man on a date

Yes, the majority of women are really good at expressing their feelings (contrary to men), but there are still some women who have a hard time doing that.

Some women have been hurt before in relationships, and now they might need more time to open up to someone new.

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Some women have met players, commitment-phobes, and other types of men who have scarred them one way or another.

Such women just need more time to get used to being with you. They need to feel comfortable sharing things with you. In other words, you need to let them know that they can trust you.

Pay attention to all those signs that mean she likes you like when she subtly touches you, or when she’s playfully teasing you.

All these are good signs, and they mean that she’s getting more and more comfortable around you, so it’s only a matter of time when she will fall deeply in love with you.

Men and women fall in love in different ways and at a different pace

man and a woman cheating while drinking coffee on a terrace

The Mars-Venus theory about women and men coming from two different planets might be true after all. Apparently, men and women fall in love in completely different ways and at a different pace.

Men tend to fall in love quicker than women, and the reason for that might be biological.

Men say ‘I love you’ quicker than women because women are biologically predisposed to be pickier when it comes to choosing potential mates.

Literally, women subconsciously decide to postpone falling in love (if such a thing is even possible) just because they want to be sure that their potential partner is suitable for them in many aspects, from financial to intelligence to personality.

Simply put, women postpone falling in love until they’re sure about their partner being suitable to have children with. Of course, not all women want children, and not every relationship leads to having children, which is okay.

But, I’m starting to think that this hypothesis about women prolonging falling in love could actually be TOTALLY true. Why? Because I, myself, and some of my female friends, are also overly picky regarding potential partners.

This is exactly what’s going on inside my head:

No, I don’t want to date that one guy because he’s a smoker, even though he’s really handsome. Hmm…noup, I don’t want to date that other guy because he seems a little bit egocentric and overly materialistic. I

mean, look at his pictures displaying only his cars and how rich he is.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against rich men, but if that’s the only thing they can offer, then I’m not interested.

But, what about this one guy who texted me recently? He seems to have it all: He’s intelligent, gentle, handsome, a true gentleman (and he’s not smoking!), and he has a job. Yup, I should definitely date him and see how things go.

Now, will anyone tell me why I would discard the idea of dating a guy just because he’s a smoker? Is it because I subconsciously think of smoking as a bad habit both financially and for that person’s health?

But, why would I be worried about his health? It’s not like I know the guy or care about him.

Maybe, I worry about his health because I’m thinking in advance. If we happen to be in a serious relationship or eventually have kids, then smoking might be an issue.

This is a true eye-opener. I definitely think that there is some truth to the fact that women postpone falling in love due to biological reasons.

So, when a woman finally “decides” to fall in love with you, how will you know it? Simple.

If a woman prioritizes your needs, then you know she loves you

happy couple having breakfast while standing in the kitchen

Trust me, I have never met a woman who would prioritize a man’s needs if she weren’t really in love with him. When a woman falls in love, her nurturing instinct wakes up and becomes ten times more gentle and caring.

Through time, she decides to prioritize your needs because her goal is to make you happy. So, if you say to a woman who loves you something like: I’m sorry, but I can’t watch the series with you tonight. I’d like to be alone for some time.

Then, chances are she will not get offended by it.

A woman who is genuinely in love with you always pays attention to how you’re feeling about certain things. She requires reciprocity and she’s willing to compromise with you.

Do you know how hard it is for a woman to choose to, let’s say, postpone watching her favorite TV show only to prepare your favorite food?

A woman who is in love expresses it in many different ways, from cooking your favorite meals to giving you random hugs and kisses.

Pay attention to those little things and you’ll know if she’s really in love with you or if she needs more time to “decide” to fall in love with you. Hilarious, I know, but I couldn’t resist writing it.

If a woman CHALLENGES you to do better, then she definitely loves you

smiling young man looking at his girlfriend and leaning his hand on her shoulder

Many men have a wrong opinion about a woman being in love. They think that a woman in love will support her man no matter what, and rarely contradict him.

Dear men, that’s not the definition of being in love. If a woman challenges you in every single possible way, it’s not because she hates you… it’s because she genuinely LOVES you.

When a woman falls in love, she feels as if it’s her duty to make her man become the best possible version of himself.

“Behind every successful man, there stands a woman.”

This saying is definitely not a coincidence. A woman in love has the power to make her man reach his fullest potential because her love is that powerful!

Whenever she worries about your habits or provokes you about certain things, know that she’s doing it out of love and because she believes that you can do better.

Here are some more signs she loves you deeply:

  • She remembers all the small details about you. (A woman who is not in love certainly wouldn’t care about your favorite chocolate or similar.)
  • She wants to impress you. (Do you think we spend so much time styling our hair or sweating our asses off at the gym just to impress ourselves? Think again.)
  • Sometimes, she acts jealous when you’re around other girls. (A woman who is in love with you will see every other girl as a threat. It’s in our nature. Sorry, but we can’t help it.)
  • She’s always there for you. (No, we don’t sit next to our phone waiting for you to text us, but if we really love you, we’ll gladly stop doing what we’re doing at the moment only to text you back.)

As being the girl who loves ‘too much’, I can add one more thing, and that is: Don’t be afraid of our love and don’t try to understand it.

A woman’s love is both fragile and powerful

an amorous couple hugging while lying on the grass

When a woman truly loves you, you become her favorite teddy bear, safe haven, best friend, and companion. A woman’s love is both as fragile as a flower and as powerful as titanium. If you don’t water it regularly, her love will wither.

Be a gentleman. Be a man who is worthy of her love. Make her the happiest woman in the world because if you do, her love for you will multiply and become even stronger.

10 Compliments Your Man Wants To Hear From you

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Remind him that you love his intellect and that you’ve never met anyone smarter. Don’t go too far and say “you’re smarter than Einstein,” but just remind him that his mind was one of the reasons you were attracted to him in the first place.

#1. You Believe In Him. It’s said that guys have big ego’s, and this may be true. But you certainly shouldn’t be afraid of massaging your partners ego if you send him a few compliments.

Men need to know they have the support and belief of their partner at all times. They need to hear that you believe in them so that they know they are doing something right.

You could tell him that you love how driven he is, or that you think he’s the best at what he does. Maybe you could tell him that he’ll win at whatever he puts his mind to, or that he’s talented and hard working.

Guys need constant reassurance, so give it to him.

#2. You Love His Sense Of Humour. Guts put a lot of effort into being funny. They want to be the funniest guy you’ve ever met, and they can actually be a little bit jealous if you meet someone who makes you laugh more than they do.

“So, I met this great guy at work today. He’s so funny. He literally had me rolling over the floor with laughter!” is a line that is not going to go down too well with him.

Instead, you should flatter him a little by telling him how funny he is and that you love his sense of humour. Guys sometimes think the best way to a woman’s heart is by making them laugh, and if they can’t make us laugh they might lose out.

#3. Compliment His Work. Most guys are proud of their careers. They know they have a duty to work, to pay taxes and to bring you both financial security and stability.

But it isn’t enough for them that they do some dreary, mundane 9-5 job that anyone can do. They want to make sure they’re doing a skilled job that only they can do so well and they want you to acknowledge this.

Throw some compliments about their job at them now and then. Tell them what they do is meaningful and that they’re the best at it.

#4. Tell Him He’s Smart. As well as losing out to a funnier guy, your partner is also worried that you might meet someone smarter than him. Looks obviously fade, so it’s important that your guy feels he is still able to impress you with his brains.

Remind him that you love his intellect and that you’ve never met anyone smarter. Don’t go too far and say “you’re smarter than Einstein,” but just remind him that his mind was one of the reasons you were attracted to him in the first place.

#5. Compliment His Fashion Style. Yes, women like to get dressed up for a date and they like their man to appreciate the effort they’ve put in. Usually, the girl does put in a lot more effort than the guy, but sometimes the guy works hard, too.

Whenever your man gets dressed up for a night out, compliment him on his attire. Make him feel good and let him know how stylish he is. This is important for him, because he needs to know that he’s looking good tonight.

#6. You Love Spending Time With Him. Sometimes, you can be really busy. Maybe you spend a lot of the day away from your man, due to work and friends. As such, it’s important that you remind your man that you really love spending time with him. You might not see him all the time, but he’s still your number 1 person.

#7. You Always Feel Safe Around Him. Guys enjoy feeling like the protector around their women. They like to keep us safe and sound and they like to know that they’re doing a good job.

Let your man know tonight that he keeps you safe. Tell him you always feel protected around him, and as though no harm will ever come to you.

These kinds of compliments really stick with men, and it lets them know that they’ve become someone their parents can be proud of.

#8. He’s Really Handy Around The House. Guys really don’t want to appear useless around the house. They want to be able to fix leaky faucets, change the oil on the car, or set up a new television. If they can’t do these sorts of things, it’s going to irritate the heck out of them and make them feel a little bit down.

Worse still is when they manage to complete a few jobs, but you tell them they haven’t done it very well. Yikes!

Just like guys like to keep you safe, they also like to maintain the house. Tell him he’s doing a grand job and that you love how handy he is.

#9. He Gives The Best Advice. Your man wants to be the first person you turn to whenever you need some advice on something. He doesn’t want you to turn to your mom, your dad, your best friend or your work colleague – he wants you to come to him.

Compliment him on his advice. Let him know that he always knows the right things to say and that you can always depend on him whenever you’ve got a problem.

#10. He’s Gorgeous. Lastly, you can’t fail with telling him how good looking he is. Although it might not seem like it, men are just as conscious of their looks as we are. Especially as he gets older and starts to put on some weight, he needs to hear that you still find him desirable, according to beauty and tips.

10 Benefits of Honesty in a Relationship

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What virtues do you seek in a potential mate? You’ll probably say things like kindness, loyalty, good humor, empathy, and generosity. Above all, you expect honesty in any partner you choose.

Have you ever been with someone who lied every time their mouth was open? Perhaps you discovered their deceit long into your relationship. If you can’t believe that your partner is truthful with you, who can you believe?

Relationships should start by being honest. If you and your significant other are going to stay together, you both need positive bias and accuracy. Being honest with each other can increase your optimism that the relationship will last.

COMMISSION VERSUS OMISSION

Did you know that you can be truthful while being deceitful at the same time? If you deliberately tell a lie, you commit a dishonest act. However, concealing information and not telling the whole truth is just as dishonest. In a healthy relationship, there should be no secrets between you and your significant other.

Of course, this does not include harmless secrets like a surprise birthday party or a special gift. However, it would help if you never concealed secrets dealing with unfaithfulness or other devastating information. Remember that half-truths can be more dangerous in a relationship than a whole lie.

10 BENEFITS OF HONESTY IN A RELATIONSHIP

There are many benefits to you being honest with each other in your partnership. Here are the most common reasons why trust is so important.

honesty

1. BEING HONEST BUILDS TRUST

If there’s no trust in your relationship, you have nothing. When you and your mate are honest with each other, you need not second guess one another. Do you feel confident nothing is going on when they call and tell you they are working late at the office?

What if you go on a business trip with a coworker? Would your mate trust that your trip is legitimate? On the flip side, would you trust that your person would stay true to you while you are out of town? If the answers to these questions are indecisive, your relationship could have problems.

Trust issues can destroy your relationship. You need to know that the person with whom you’ve entrusted your heart will always be true to you. Also, it would help if you built trust with them. An honest relationship frees you both from suspicion, jealousy, and constant surmising.

2. YOU MAY HAVE LESS STRESS

How would you feel if you and your partner were not being honest with each other? The stress of continually covering your tracks can be devastating. You probably will not be in a loving mood when you’re both stressed to the max.

Did you know that stress can negatively affect your physical and mental health? An article published by the National Institute of Mental Health warns that chronic stress may lead to heart issues, hypertension, diabetes, stroke, and certain cancers. It may also contribute to premature death.

Sincere people also learn how to de-stress with their partners. When was the last time you took a long weekend together to relax? Also, consider massages and healthy romantic life as ways of lowering your stress levels.

Stop giving chocolate a bad rap and enjoy its benefits!
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3. TRUTHFULNESS MAY IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH

Since dishonesty in a relationship can harm your health, it stands to reason that being honest may improve it. Research published by the American Psychological Association found that people who tell the truth saw a significant health boost. They may have less stress, depression, and fewer physical complaints per the article.

Of course, honesty won’t boost your health if you and your partner don’t take care of yourselves. Being honest also includes the acknowledgment that you need to practice a healthier lifestyle. Proper diet, exercise, and a clear conscience can go a long way to keeping you and your partner healthier and happier.

4. BEING HONEST CAN BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE

Let’s face it, telling lies and hiding harmful secrets does little for your self-confidence. It may keep you in your mate’s good graces for a while, but you will feel miserable on the inside. When you don’t have inner peace and self-acceptance, it will eventually show on the outside.

Honest people often feel a boost of confidence when they know that they’ve nothing to hide. Your partner can trust you with their heart and life, and you have the confidence to accept them at their word. When you are truthful with yourself, it can help you be the person you want to be.

Others will see your self-confidence, and it may make them more confident in you. It’s especially the effect that you want for your significant other. You make mutual admiration and respect possible when you are genuine.

5. BEING TRUTHFUL IS MUCH LESS WORK

Being a liar requires a lot of energy. Dishonesty creates a snowball effect that takes constant maintenance. For example, you tell your partner a lie. Then you often must tell another lie to cover the first one, and the falsehoods snowball.

You must spend valuable time and effort keeping track of the lies so your secrets aren’t revealed. Conversely, telling the truth doesn’t take any effort or creative wording. You state the facts as they are and have nothing to hide.

The time and energy you and your partner save by being honest can be used for more positive activities.

6. HONEST PEOPLE ATTRACT OTHER HONEST PEOPLE

If you’ve studied the law of attraction, you understand that like calls unto like. Remember the old saying that “birds of a feather flock together?” So, if you are an honest person, you are more likely to attract other honest people’s attention.

It’s especially essential when you are looking for a committed relationship. Of course, the law of attraction is not always foolproof. At some point in your life, you’ve had to deal with toxic people, regardless of your honest personality.

However, most people treasure honesty and will choose to be with people with that virtue.

7. GENUINENESS ENCOURAGES SELF-REFLECTION

You can’t be honest with anyone else until you are honest with yourself. As a genuine person, you are compelled to self-reflect and see who you are. If you don’t like what you see, maybe it’s time that you make some changes.

Honesty with yourself makes you want to be a better person, friend, and mate. Perhaps you need to adjust your attitude and long-held beliefs that no longer serve you. Working on yourself is a positive effort that your significant other will notice and appreciate.

8. HONESTY OFFERS FREEDOM

When you lie to people, you are forging a chain of shame and guilt that imprisons you. Maintaining the ruse robs you of energy and freedom. The only way that you can be free is, to be honest.

Have you or your partner ever asked a friend to conceal a lie for you? Even though a true friend wouldn’t use it against you, it has created an indebtedness that will eat at your conscience. Plus, you lose a lot of credence with your friend, who must keep the lie hidden.

Honesty breaks the chains, and you no longer have the burden of guilt. You have a free conscience, and you can rest at night knowing that you’ve been truthful. This freedom can ease tensions and stress in your relationship.

9. YOUR PARTNER WILL RESPECT YOUR OPINION

Your significant other probably asks for your opinions often because they know that you’ll be honest. Sometimes, it isn’t easy to be candid because you’re afraid of hurting their feelings. Your honest opinion may sting a little, but they will respect you in the long run.

For example, what do you say if your person asks if you like the outfit they’re wearing? They will respect you more if you say the color isn’t right for them than if you say whatever they want to hear. You needn’t be mean, just honest.

When you’re truthful about the small things, your lover knows they can trust you with the more significant situations. It’s all about stating kind but honest opinions every time. Having a respected view means everything in a relationship, personal or professional.

10. HONESTY CREATES A POSITIVE ATMOSPHERE

If you are in a shrouded relationship of lies and secrets, the atmosphere is bound to be stagnant and negative. Maybe you notice that it’s easier to pick fights and stay angry at each other. Frequently, dishonesty breeds a toxic environment where a couple shifts the blame and is perpetually mistrustful.

However, genuine people tend to create a festive atmosphere that makes everyone feel welcome and comfortable. The good news is that positivity is contagious and will attract more positive things in your life. You and your significant other will feel more optimistic about your relationship, too.

FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE BENEFITS OF HONESTY IN A RELATIONSHIP

You owe it to your partner and yourself to be honest in your relationship. It’s the cornerstone that supports all other desired virtues. It is the only way you can both love and accept each other for who you are in this life.

7 Things You Need to Know About Loving A Woman

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In many cases, women harbor more secrets than men about a variety of things. But when it comes to a man loving a woman, they typically make their intentions clear.

Why the difference?

It’s just in the makeup of a woman to keep secrets or to expect their partner to know what they want without them having to say it outright. Women have long been regarded as being more complex than men, and science backs this up because men and women’s brains are actually wired differently.

Women tend to speak through their emotions and remember faces and words more clearly. They have a high level of intuition, and usually feel more compassion and understanding toward others than men do. Since women operate through their feelings more than their minds, this can often confuse and frustrate men (and even other women) since women’s emotions fluctuate so frequently.

However, just because women are complicated creatures, does not mean they aren’t capable of being understood. While women may not voice the following things to you, she still wishes you could read her mind somehow.

We’ve made the deciphering a bit easier for you, and found some common things that most women want their partner to know.

HERE ARE 7 SECRETS ALL MEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT LOVING A WOMAN:

1. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF.

In the realm of relationship advice, this is an often-overlooked point when it comes to dating women. However, women generally enjoy dating someone who doesn’t just shake their head ‘yes’ to everything they say. Although they don’t want someone extremely contrary and argumentative, most women enjoy relationships with people who know how to stand up for themselves. Who can back up their opinions and not cave under pressure. You can still have a wonderful relationship with a man or woman without agreeing with every single thing they say or do.

2. MAKE TIME FOR YOUR FRIENDS DESPITE LOVING A WOMAN.

While most women don’t want you to spend all your free time with friends, they do appreciate it when you go out a couple of times a week. That’s so they have the house to themselves, and can spend some time relaxing and doing ‘girl things’. Women want you to know that they encourage you to spend some time with your buddies, as long as you’re making enough time for them, too.

3. IT’S OKAY TO HAVE A WILD SIDE BUT MAKE SURE YOU ARE THERE FOR HER WHEN SHE NEEDS IT.

Advice for men: most women really do want someone who embodies the whole package. An unapologetic bad boy who loves to show off and lives life on the edge, and also a stable, sweet person who goes out of his way for his lady. You can still have your motorcycles and fast cars and have that macho thing going on that every woman craves, while also getting in touch with your more sensitive side. When dating a woman, it all comes down to striking a perfect balance, and this includes your demeanor, as well.

4. DON’T JUST HEAR HER WORDS, ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THEM.

Perhaps one of the biggest complaints women have is that their partners just don’t listen to what they have to say. They hear a few words out of the conversation, but don’t actually reflect on their meaning. Make sure in relationships, you listen to every word she says and don’t let the words get lost in translation. Respect her enough to care about what she says, and value her opinion. Relationships cannot survive without open lines of communication, and being able to listen to each other without interjecting.

5. DIG A LITTLE DEEPER.

Sometimes, women don’t tell the full story of how they feel or what’s on their minds. When dating a woman, it’s your job to uncover these secrets by asking more questions and really showing her you’re interested in knowing how she feels. She isn’t trying to play games with you, but rather, protect herself from feeling too vulnerable, or feeling like a burden to you. Let her know that you will always be there for her and that anything she says is safe with you. In a sea of emotions, women require stability and safety. If you can be her rock, she will never leave your side.

6. DO NICE THINGS FOR HER THAT SHOWS YOU CARE (EVEN OPENING THE DOOR GOES A LONG WAY).

After a while in a relationship, both people involved tend to slack on the sweet gestures and words of affection. However, even if this sounds like your relationship, you can always do something small, such as leaving a nice note for her to read before she leaves for work, or just taking her out to eat. You don’t have to do anything fancy; just let her know that you love and appreciate her, and still care deeply about her.

‘Marry An Igbo Girl And Watch Your N1m Turn Into N100m’ – Nigerian Man Advises

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‘Marry An Igbo Girl And Watch Your N1m Turn Into N100m’ – Nigerian Man Advises. A Nigerian man had made an interesting yet controversial and positive remark about women from the Igbo tribe.

The man known as King Kuti has on Twitter stated that Igbo women have the ability of turning a million naira into 100 million naira.

King Kuti who is reportedly married to an Igbo woman known on Twitter as @Iyawothickerbody recommended Igbo women to men who want to see their finances multiply for marriage.

In his words;

”Marry an Igbo girl and watch your 1m turns into 100m

I don’t know how but mehn. These Tribe too dey business oriented”

When a Man Is Not Ready…

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When a woman gets to the stage where marriage seems to be the single most important thing in the universe, the doors of temptation fling wide open. Patience, grace, and feminine mystique are put to the ultimate test.

But sisters, here’s one thing to remember; DO NOT approach a man when he is hungry or thirsty!

My dad does not function very well when he is hungry. My brother, who everyone knows is super humorous and cheerful can be a tantrum-throwing baby and completely irrational when he’s hungry (maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit.

But the point is, I have noticed that these two main men in my life don’t like to be bothered when they are hungry. 

Boaz, Ruth’s husband was apparently the same way, hence Naomi’s instructions;

“Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking.” (Ruth 3:3)

Naomi decided that it was time for Ruth to be married. She instructed her to prepare herself and go down to the threshing floor where Boaz would be winnowing barley (in other words – he was at a place where he was separating trash from treasure). Ruth was to wait for four things to happen;

1. Wait until he’s done his work (of separating trash from treasure)

2. Wait until he is done eating

3. Wait until he is done drinking

4. Wait until he is sleeping

The same instructions are given to virtuous women today. If you notice a young man who you are impressed to see as fit to take on the role of husband, father, and priest, you must ensure that he has done his work of getting rid of “chaff” in his life.

Psalm 1:4 lets us know… “Boaz was winnowing in order to get rid of the “worthless” part of the grain.”

Everyone has chaff and there are some things that you cannot afford to allow into a relationship.

From a distance, Ruth waited and watched Boaz thresh barley. From a distance, you must also take notice to see whether this man is actively working with the Lord to get rid of “worthless things” in his life.

Then she had to wait until he was done eating.

“Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.” (John 6:35)

A man who is still hungry has not yet come to Jesus, and if he is thirsty, he has not yet believed in your Savior. 

According to Health Day News, researchers found that “when people are hungry, they are more likely to be angry or aggressive…the reason why: serotonin levels — a  hormone that helps regulate behavior, fluctuate when people are  stressed out or haven’t eaten.”

Basically, when someone is hungry, the levels of serotonin are so affected that it causes one to react in anger, irritation, or frustration. You can expect a man who is not spiritually fed to react in the same manner.

Finally, Ruth had to wait until Boaz was asleep.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”(Matthew 11:28)

Has this man found spiritual rest in Christ? Too many men are stressed out, burnt out, and have no rest. These characteristics will add stress to your relationship. It is vital that he finds rest for his soul.

Note that before God brought Eve to Adam, Adam had eaten , he had rivers of pure water , he had his work , and he fell asleep. All these Boaz had also done. Now it’s time for Ruth to make her entrance!

But wait…

Maybe you’re thinking that in order for this man to notice you, you have to do something to make him notice you right? No, Ruth does the opposite…she lies down. She doesn’t make any sound to wake up Boaz. Ruth approached quietly…and lay down.

When the time comes for you to make yourself known to a man worthy of you, you make your self known by not making yourself known.

Proverbs 25:2 says “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter but the glory of kings to search it out.”

If a man is truly a Godly king, the Lord will wake him up to your presence and he will search you out. All you have to do is “lay low” and let the Lord wake him up.

5 Prayers For Those Waiting For Their Future Spouse

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Young African American man gives bouquet of flowers to girlfriend.

If you are still waiting for the love of your life, don’t worry! Here are 5 prayers to ask God to help guide you along your journey to find the right one.

As we journey through life, we meet many people, some of whom inspire us, and some of whom bring us down.

We long for a mate,  someone we can share our life with. However, sometimes it’s not easy and it may take you years to find the right person.

Although it might be easy to lose hope, asking God for guidance is your best way to stay focused and remain hopeful until you find the love of your life.

If you have been hurt in the past, you most likely don’t want to open yourself up again because you are scared of what might happen.

People also often settle for a person they know might not be right for them, but they are nervous if they let them go they won’t find anyone else in the future.

Here are 5 Prayers For Those Waiting For Their Future Spouse…

1. May I let Love In

Dear God, My heart is pure; my intentions clear. I ask for your guidance and your help In finding my future spouse, my most perfect partner.

I seek a spouse who enhances me by his/her very being…

One who brings more love, joy, and peace to my life…

Someone I can love fully and who can fully receive my love…

Who loves, honors and cherishes me completely, and always.

Dear God, May I recognize love when my true love comes to me.

May I let love in. May I be willing to allow my soul to know the truth.

Lord, let my heart be open and my head be clear. May my life be ready to welcome my true love.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

2. Healing From Past Relationships

Dear God, please help me heal from grief, loss and the pain of love in my past. Let me be whole and happy again.

I have been overly-anxious and at times I have felt desperate and too willing to settle. Calm the need in me that makes unwise choices. Sooth the soreness in my soul that makes me crave love from unhealthy relationships.

Restore my faith in love and divine timing. Bring true love to me, at the right time, for the right reasons.

Please end the separation between me and my true love. Let the healing process begin inside my heart.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

3. Strength to Endure My Single Season

Dear God, Being single is a gift.  There is nothing wrong with being single, but I still long for a partner in this life.  Father, while I am waiting, give me strength to endure each day.

My heart aches for all the pain that I’ve been through lately.

The one I loved did me wrong, and now it’s time to move on and find someone that is worthy of my love and will love me unconditionally.

I pray he will love me, adore me, and cherish me.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

4. Help Better Myself

Dear God, Please help me to better myself and be the best version of myself  for my future spouse.

Lord, I am Your child.  I pray that my life can reflect Christ to those around me always.  Father, I will praise You in this time of singleness and I pray that You will be glorified in all I do this day!

May everyone I meet see You in me today!  And if possible, may my future spouse see me as well.

Help lead me in the path you have for me and guide me to my future partner.

Then guide me through every stage of our relationship, so that, as we move ever closer to You, we grow closer to each other in Love, in Joy, and in Faith.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

5. Prepare Me For My Future Spouse 

Dear God, I am ready to have a relationship with a wonderful person, who truly gets me, loves me, adores me, and is ready to build a life with me.

I choose to believe there is a special person out there for me. My name is written across his/her heart.

Please put me on the right track toward true love. Lead me to a place of committed love. I am willing to work on myself and to make myself ready for love.

Please grant me the power to look at love through spiritual eyes, And to remain sincere about finding the relationship I have longed for.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Most Men Are Scared Of Intelligent Women. Here’s why.

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Ladies, do you agree?

If you are still a person who believes the brains and smarts are not attractive features in a woman, then you’re still probably stuck in the Middle Ages. Welcome to the 21st century, would you like to join us? In the modern world, there is so much value in being a person of knowledge and information. Plenty of us have so much access to information thanks to new technologies, but very few of us have the drive to actually pursue knowledge and wisdom. That’s why with modern wisdom being such a rarity these days, there’s no denying that those who are well-read and well-informed bear a certain attractiveness in them that is difficult to suppress.

It’s great when you get to meet a person of intelligence. This is a person with whom you can have very insightful and profound conversations about the most complex of topics. These are the kinds of conversations that plenty of us live for; the kinds of conversations that are rare to have with a lot of common people. These are the kinds of conversations that enrich the soul and sharpen the mind. They have the power to give our lives meaning and affirm our existence in a complex world. When we get the opportunity to meet a person of great depth and intellect, we are blessed with the opportunity to form a lasting bond with a person who isn’t afraid of growth or development.

However, the fact of the matter is that plenty of insecure men still exist in the world. When these men encounter women of intelligence, their primal alpha male instincts kick in and they get intimidated. They have disillusioned themselves into thinking that only men bear the right to wield power in this world, and that should a woman possess such power, it should be considered an anomaly. In their minds, the male must always be the dominant force, and so as a result, when in the presence of intelligent women, these men will act on their insecurities by trying to assert their ill-placed intellectual dominance on these women.

Only the strongest and most confident know that they don’t always have to be the smartest person on the relationship. They are perfectly fine with dating a woman of strength, character, and resilience. They understand the positive effects of having a woman at their side who is willing to take charge especially when things get difficult. These are the men who don’t let their egos get the best of them. They know when to swallow their pride and relinquish the role as a leader in the relationship whenever the time calls for it.– Continue reading on the next page


The men who aren’t stuck-up; those who are willing to dive into relationships with stronger and more intelligent women knows that this kind of relationship can have its benefits as well as its downsides. A strong and intelligent woman may have the tendency to rub people the wrong way and come off as someone who is domineering and robotic; a woman who is devoid of emotion and empathy. However, the positives of dating this kind of woman greatly outweigh the potential negatives. When you date a woman who is intelligent and strong-willed, you are assured of a partner who will isn’t afraid to speak her mind. She is someone with whom you will never lose interest. She is a person who has very insightful perspectives about the ways of the world, why things are the way that they are, how they should be.

When we constantly place ourselves in the presence of an intelligent person, we are knowingly placing ourselves in areas of discomfort. These are situations that allow us to push our intellectual capabilities to its limits. Being in the constant presence of intelligent people allow us the freedom to be more introspective and analytical about life. We are placed in haven for independent thought that is devoid of deconstructive judgment. We are in the presence of a person who is open-minded enough to be able to understand our perspective, but also strong enough to call us out when our logic is skewed. When we start to date intelligent people, we unknowingly open so many doors of development for our lives. We are given access to the perspective of a very rare and beautiful mind that isn’t susceptible to manipulation.

When we date a woman of intelligence, not only are we gaining a strong life partner, we are also gaining a mentor and teacher to help us navigate through the treacherous waters of the world. These are the kinds of people who never shy away from a challenge, and they will help push us to become the best possible versions of ourselves. They never settle for mediocrity, and so you can best expect that your relationship is never going to be one that is mediocre as well. Your relationship will be a lot like the mind of your woman; deep, passionate, strong, and exciting.

13 Questions Men Are Sick Of Being Asked

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1. So where is this thing between us going to lead?

Don’t ever pressure a man into taking the relationship to the next level. While it is healthy for you to discuss the future of your relationship, you should never push a man into it especially when he’s clearly uncomfortable about the issue. Let him take his time and think about it more; and stop pestering him about it until he’s ready.

2.Why did you like her profile picture on Facebook?

You should always allow your man the opportunity to have other lady friends. Just because you happen to be his girlfriend doesn’t mean he loses the right to have other female friends too. If he interacts with these girls or likes their posts on social media, you shouldn’t automatically assume that he’s cheating on you.

3. Do we really have to spend time with your parents?

Yes, you do. His parents mean the world to him and you should always take that seriously. If you truly loved him, then you would always make a constant effort to have his parents like you. You should never be content with getting on his parents’ bad side. That won’t bode too well for your relationship.

4. Why don’t you start trying to be more like x?

A man will always hate being criticized. He hates it all the more when it is done in a manner that pits him against another man. Men are naturally protective and territorial beings and they don’t like it when their girlfriends compare them to other men. It makes them feel like they still have to compete for your affections.

5. Can I have some?

If you wanted to eat his food, then you should have ordered some for yourself beforehand. A lot of men take their mealtimes seriously, and they always order the right amount of food for themselves. If you charge on a man’s plate, he will be forced to oblige with you even when he doesn’t want to.

6. Who do you text all the time?

Who your boyfriend is texting shouldn’t necessarily be your concern unless there is special cause for worry. He should be allowed to text people who aren’t you. Always remember that the best kinds of union have couples who actually engage in lives outside their own relationship. You should be happy that he has a social life outside of you.

7. Are you really going to wear that for tonight?

Yes, he is. That is the very reason why he put it on in the first place. If you don’t like his outfit or if you think that it’s inappropriate, then let him know and explain it to him nicely. This passive aggressive approach to getting him to change his clothes can get very irritating.

8. So when are you coming to bed?

He will come to bed when he’s good and ready. Sometimes, a man still has some work to do. Sometimes, he wants to play some video games or read a few chapters of his book before going to bed. Sometimes, he isn’t really sleepy yet. Whatever the reason, you shouldn’t be forcing him to join you in bed even though he isn’t ready.

9. Why are you so unromantic?

It can be very hard for some men to develop their skills in romance and cheesiness. Not everyone in real life is going to be a Nicholas Sparks character. You have to understand that your boyfriend isn’t perfect and that he is going to have his own personal flaws. If he isn’t romantic, don’t blame him. That’s just part of his personality.

10. When do you think you’re going to start growing up?

This is such a condescending and demeaning way to motivate your boyfriend. You can push him to become a more mature and better person by using friendlier and more constructive language. If you ask a question like this, it really adds no value to the relationship, nor does it fix the troubles that you are having with each other.

11. Why do you like hanging out with him?

Your boyfriend is going to have his own share of friends. Some of them, you will be fond of. Some of them, you won’t necessarily like. When you happen to meet a friend of his that you don’t really like, you don’t really have the right to question him about it. Respect the fact that he has his friends and that you have your own as well.

12. You think she’s pretty, don’t you?

It’s a trap. Don’t ever try to trap your man into answering this question. It’s mean. He doesn’t want to lie to you because he always want to be honest when it comes to you. But he also knows that his honesty could lead to a big argument. You are only asking for trouble when you ask questions like this.

13. Why are you mad?

A man isn’t always mad. Just because he’s quiet and doing nothing doesn’t mean he’s automatically mad or upset. He may be just spacing out as is a normal custom among most men. Don’t take his nonchalant attitude to mean that he’s mad at you.

Talk to me

Do you agree? Talk to me in the comments below!

It Takes A Real Man To Know One Woman Is Enough

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In the age of modern dating, when we’re surrounded by fuckboys, narcissistic men and children, basically, it’s hard to find that real man who will love us the way we deserve to be loved.

It’s hard to find that one true man who will appreciate us for who we are and make us believe in love again.

That real man who will make you feel like you are their world, like there is no one else but you. You are comfortable with being yourself with them, you are both lovers and friends.

You get to act all foolish and goofy around each other, but still have that crazy passion we all crave. One moment you are tickling each other or pillow fighting, the next you are rolling around in the sheets.

Your real man knows you’re not perfect, but treats you like you are. He values you for your brains, for your accomplishments and skills, instead of just for looks and other short-term qualities.

He sees you as an equal, as his life partner and considers you when making decisions. And he is always there, through both your struggles and pleasures.

You can count on him whatever happens to you, because he is happy to be by your side no matter what.

And a real man makes sure you know you’re the best thing that happened to him. He makes sure that putting a smile on your face is his morning ritual, like drinking coffee or brushing teeth.

He makes sure you don’t go to bed angry or sad. He makes you realize why every other man was just a one-time thing, why every other man felt like settling while he feels like home.

He makes you realize what you’ve been waiting for your whole life, and that’s an unconditional, crazy love that warms you up from head to toe during those cold, lonely nights.

He makes you realize that the love of your life comes after a mistake of your life. Some relationships are meant to teach us what love doesn’t look like, they are meant to break us only so we can build ourselves the way we never imagined we could.

They are there to make us appreciate ourselves more, to appreciate who we are and not to settle only because we’re afraid of being lonely. And what I learned is, when you know, you just know.

Once you find your real man, you’ll wonder why you were ever worried.

Your real man will make you appreciate all the small things you share; that quick breakfast before going to work, those coffee breaks you steal from your busy days or the lazy evenings you spend together on the couch just listening to each other’s heartbeats.

He will make you feel wanted even when you’re drowning yourself in guacamole, wearing your pajamas. He will make you feel wanted even when you don’t feel like it.

Your true man will date you for the rest of your life, because he wants to. He wants you.

So, don’t settle for less, don’t settle for some fuckboy who only dates you for your lady parts.Don’t settle for that toxic asshole who constantly criticizes you, constantly brings you down only so he can feel good about himself.

Don’t settle for that child who needs you to be his mommy, who needs you to take care of his needs, because he is incapable of doing it by himself. Don’t settle for that guy who makes you feel nothing, and don’t settle for someone who kills all the butterflies inside you.

Wait for that real man of yours, who knows you are enough. Who makes you melt under his touch, who burns your lips with his and makes you feel like a gift from the heavens.

This Is How The ‘Right’ Relationship Will Feel After All Those Toxic Ones

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We stay in toxic relationships mostly because we are not aware we are in a toxic relationship at all. We tend to be oblivious of what our toxic partner does to us and our emotional states, often finding excuses in love just to stay a bit longer.

What we need to understand is staying and believing something will eventually change is just too naive and we keep hurting ourselves by doing so.

The thing with toxic relationships is that they are addictive since they make you feel like you have someone to rely on.

They are challenging because you think you can make it work and you think you have to work really hard to be happy in a relationship, when in fact toxic relationships are all about fear.

 

You are captured in toxic relationships because you’re made to believe you’re better off staying in a dysfunctional relationship than being alone.

When you are in a toxic relationship you have this scorecard where you keep track of who did what to whom.

You keep arguing about who is the one that is giving more to this relationship, and you keep being blamed for everything that bad that happened in your relationship.

Everything that happened is written somewhere and your toxic partner is just waiting for an opportunity to play that card.

When you are in a toxic relationship your partner is ‘dropping hints’ and doing other passive-aggressive things.

He (or she) is unable to communicate with you on a ‘normal human level’ and instead, to clearly state the desire, you are pushed with hints towards the direction where your partner wants you to be.

Instead of telling you what’s actually upsetting him, he chooses to piss you off and then he has a legit excuse to behave like a jerk towards you and say out loud what he wanted to say at first.

When you are in a toxic relationship it feels like you’re held hostage because at every minor hiccup, there is this talk about a breakup.

Whenever something is not suitable for your partner, he says he can’t stay in such a relationship. Instead of asking you why are you being cold, he chooses to say, “I can’t be with someone who’s cold to me all the time”.

When you are in a toxic relationship you are to blame for your partner’s emotions.

If your partner had a bad day but didn’t mention it to you and you decide to go out or watch a movie instead of staying in and hugging and comforting your partner, you get accused of being insensitive and self-centered.

You’re actually expected to ‘babysit’ his emotions and be attuned to what’s going on with your partner all the time.

But eventually, you’ll break free from a toxic relationship.

You’ll allow yourself not to tie your life to such person and life will reward you with a good guy at some point— a ‘right’ relationship which you haven’t gotten a chance to see often in your life.

 

At first, you won’t be aware you’re in the right place because everything will be new to you.

You will have space to learn and you will have support for who you really are. There will be no efforts to change you and there will be no complaining about your character.

You will be accepted for who you are and you will be loved as such. Eventually, you’ll start remembering what you really wanted your life to be because you definitely didn’t want to spend your life pleasing someone who could never actually be pleased. You’ll get to be who you truly are.

You’ll overthink constantly and you’ll be thinking five, ten or even twenty steps ahead.

You’ll try to make a script out of every single date of yours, but everything will come up way better than you imagine because you’re expecting the same story you’ve lived once already, but you’ll get something totally different.

You’ll keep thinking it’s just too good to be trueand you’ll keep waiting for something to happen to prove you’re right. The feeling that something bad will happen any moment will follow you constantly, but you need to understand he’s not waiting for a ‘perfect storm’.

It might be that in your previous relationships, fights came out of nowhere, but you need to remember you’ve broken free from those chains a long time ago.

It might be that in your previous relationships, fights came out of nowhere, but you need to remember you’ve broken free from those chains a long time ago.

So, eventually, you’ll start trusting your partner.

You’ll start doing things you (both) enjoy. No more doing things only for him; your day is not going to be spinning around anybody else but you.  You’ll discover things you both enjoy and you’ll spend time doing those things.

After a fight, you won’t feel like your whole world is falling apart and that you’re the one to blame for it. Your experience tells you that only toxic relationships have fights, but that’s not true.

Every relationship has some hiccups, but where the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ relationships differ are the outcomes of the fights.

In the ‘right’ relationship, you won’t be feeling like a sh*t after a fight because that was not the initial idea of your partner.

You and your partner will be looking for a solution to the problem and the very roots of where it all started, so you could destroy it in the very beginning instead of putting the whole blame on you.

You’ll do everything to get over the problem because you want to stay together, you don’t want to break up.

 

People will enjoy seeing you together because a healthy relationship is glowing—and I mean literally glowing.

You’ll walk close to each other and you’ll hold hands in public. You’ll smile often and the happiness and love you two feel for being together will just reflect on the outside as well.

You won’t be afraid to disagree because once you accept you have a guy who’s there because he loves you, not because he’s afraid of being alone or because he needs somebody, anybody to function, you’ll find space to speak your mind without fear.

You’ll be able to say out loud what it is that you want and don’t want and what it is that you like or dislike instead of constantly compromising and doing things your partner wants.

You will share a passion for the future together. There will be no threats to break up and you won’t have this fear you could lose him any moment now.

Instead, you’ll be able to plan your future together and you’ll walk together towards your destination.

You’ll enjoy doing mundane tasks together like grocery shopping or cooking lunch and it will be fun. You won’t be the one doing all the work and not getting any recognition for it, but instead, you’ll do it together and you’ll be looking forward to it.

You’ll know you can function without your partner, but you’ll refuse to go through life without him. The catch is you won’t feel addicted to him nor anxious to leave him.

You’ll choose him to walk together through your life because that’s what the ‘right’ relationships make you do. They make you feel like you’ve found your ‘forever’ person and you’ll want to hold on to that.

The difference between the toxic relationship and the ‘right’ one will be mirrored in your happiness.

You’ll start feeling like a decent human beingand this is something you forgot for a while. That’s what toxic relationships do to us.

You’ll enjoy your time with people you love without the fear that it might cause you problems afterwards.

You won’t need to justify your actions and you’ll be able to make something out of your life because you won’t have anybody to hold you down. You’ll feel good. Like you haven’t felt in a million years.

You’ll feel loved and appreciated, you’ll feel needed and you’ll feel like you’re in the right place and your eyes will shed tears.

Identical twin brothers set to wed identical twin sisters in Kano (Photos)

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An Identical twin brothers are set to wed identical twin sisters in Kano.

 

Twins marry twins

Their pre-wedding photos and video which has been going viral, was shared by their official photographer, Bilal Adams, of Villa Studio.

It shows the couples rocking matching outfits and posting together.

The twins are so identical, it’s hard to tell each one apart and Instagram users are left wondering if the couples sometimes make mistakes in identifying their spouses.

This is not the first time an identical twins will be marrying a fellow identical twin in Nigeria.

See more photos and watch video below….

 

 

3 Things to do When You’re Feeling Discouraged

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We all fight discouragement at times. Here are 3 ways to overcome when you’re feeling discouraged.

1. Find Someone to Help

One of the greatest ways to get yourself out of that deep, depression is to go and find someone else to help or to serve.

I was having a rough week recently and nothing seemed to be going right. Everything I seemed to touch turned out wrong so I went out to the local nursing home and visited a former church member who can’t attend church anymore.

She was so happy to see me…or to see anyone for that matter! I felt ashamed. There I was having a personal pity party and here was this godly woman who was lonely and couldn’t attend worship services anymore and yet she cheered me up!

When you’re feeling discouraged try to encourage someone else. It seems contrary to what you might think but it works.

Helping others might also help to stop comparing yourself with other people and what others have.

Possessions can’t bring happiness. Some of the most depressed people are those who have a lot of money and possessions.

2. Write out your Blessings

I remember hearing someone suggest that if you get down in the dumps, take a clean sheet of paper and write out all of your blessings.

I had a list that included a home, a car, a job, heat in the winter, AC in the summer, a roof over my head, and a refrigerator and cupboard with food in them.

I finally needed another sheet of paper. I believe that if our problems are too big then our view of God is too small. On the other hand,  if our view of God is as big as He should be then our problems will be tiny in comparison.

This is exactly what the old church hymn said:

Count your blessings, name them one by one.
Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one.

3. Pray, Praise and Stay in the Word

There is real power in the Word of God to encourage us (Romans 1:16).

If you read the psalms, you can see just how much David and the other writers of the psalms experienced. They poured out their hearts to God when they were in a deep pit of despair but notice, they didn’t stay there.

They typically ended each psalm by giving praise to God and you know what, it’s hard to be down when you’re looking up and praising and thanking God.

It seems to fill me with joy when I begin to praise and thank God.

Feeling Discouraged is one thing, being Depressed is another.

If you stay in a deep, dark depression for a long period of time please seek help immediately. You may have a medical issue that is treatable by professionals.

There is no more a moral or character weakness in seeking medical help for depression than there is going to the doctor to fix a broken bone.

We are all frail, feeble creatures made of dust (Psalm 103). God understands that.

If these suggestions don’t shake you out of your discouragement, seek help immediately.

5 Types of Men to Avoid if You Desire Marriage

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There comes a time in every single woman’s life where she needs to evaluate her dating patterns and honestly ask herself what is keeping her from attracting and maintaining the godly relationship she desires.

A lot of times you will identify behaviors in yourself that you should change to become your best self. And other times you will find that you need to start making better decisions to get a better outcome.

One of these decisions is to analyze the types of men you allow into your life. Especially if you desire marriage. Does he bring you closer to God or further away? Do his values align with yours? Does he add to your life or subtract from it?

Those are all questions you should ask yourself when vetting a romantic partner. To help you with this we have compiled a list of 5 types of men you need to avoid if you desire marriage.

1) The man that does not know what he wants

This type of man is very innocent and a lot of times ticks all the boxes. He is nice, he is handsome and he has his life together.

However, he does not have a vision for his future. He has not yet identified what his purpose is, what his gifts are and what he has been called to do in this life.

The problem with that is that a man who does not know what he wants in life will have a hard time knowing who he wants to share it with. He will be indecisive and unable to make decisions that affect his future, such as marriage, career, or financial investments.

And the woman who is linked to him romantically will feel that. Instead of planning your future together, he will stall the process until he knows what he wants to do, where he wants to live and more importantly who he wants to be with.

2) The man that does not respect your boundaries

The second type of guy is less innocent. He knows exactly what he wants and will go for it no matter what. So much so that he oversteps your boundaries.

A man that does not respect your physical, emotional or material boundaries shows signs of selfishness. He is only interested in himself and does not care for your well-being.

Healthy relationships are built by establishing and respecting one another’s boundaries, and a partner who repeatedly pushes or ignores them clearly doesn’t respect you enough. And that is a serious red flag and not the man you want to marry.

3) The man that does not have a relationship with God

Unfortunately, nowadays a lot of men and women that grow up in church only know of God but don’t know God for themselves. They haven’t completely given their life to Jesus Christ and therefore don’t completely surrender to Him.

While these men might not be considered unbelievers, they still miss a relationship with God which makes it harder for them to date with purpose and lead their girlfriend closer to Christ.

If you desire a godly marriage, your husband must have his own relationship with Christ. Because as the husband he will be called to be the head of the household as he submits to Christ.

Only a man that has an intimate relationship with God can lead effectively.

4) The emotionally unavailable man

Many emotionally unavailable men do not mean harm. They might still deal with pain from a past relationship or have a hard time opening up due to childhood trauma. Whatever it is, it is a subconscious or conscious wall that prohibits them from building an emotional connection with a woman.

While you might be tempted to help an emotionally unavailable man to break down his barriers, it is usually a very exhausting task. It brings frustration, rejection and sometimes heartbreak.

If you desire marriage, you should aim to be with someone willing to do the work it takes to be a good partner. Someone open to growing together as a couple and sharing their highs and lows.

5) The man who doesn’t commit

The last guy you should avoid if you desire marriage is a man that does not want to commit. A man that does not want to commit to a relationship is very unlikely to commit to marriage anytime soon.

And contrary to common belief you cannot convince a guy to commit. If he has his mind set on being single for whatever reason, you should not aim to change that but instead distance yourself from him.

If you want to be married you need to make sure that you only allow men into your life that want the same. Because the right guy at the wrong time is still the wrong guy.

These are the 5 types of men to avoid if you desire marriage. Use your discernment the next time you date a man to find out quickly if he is the right one for you.

Does God Really Give You the Desires of Your Heart?

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Psalm 37:4– Delight yourself in the Lordand He will give you the desires of your heart.

Many times as a young girl, I heard this verse repeatedly; sometimes it was in relation to getting a baby, a husband or a boyfriend. However, as I study God’s word and grow to know Him more and more, I have realized that this verse is not what most think it is.

When a new phone is released whether it is, Samsung or iPhone, so many people with perfectly good phones clamor and run to get in ridiculously long lines to get the next updated phone.

There may be a new season added to your favorite show and you can hardly wait to get home to start binge-watching.

There are others who long to be noticed and loved by their parents or children, others who are waiting, some patiently others impatiently for a letter of acceptance to college, a job or project.

The desires of the heart are unique to everyone. What I desire and long for might not be what you really want.

Nevertheless, did you notice anything in particular about all the different desires mentioned above? What they all have in common is simply that all of the desires that we usually have are earthly.

Well, I want to be financially stable so that my children do not have to work as hard as I did. I want to be rich so that I do not have to work a 9-5 anymore.

A Year After 15 Years Old Girl Married His 17 Years Old Boyfriend, See Their Throwback Marriage Photos

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A 17-year-old boy called Aliyu tied the knot to his 15-year-old girlfriend, Aisha in 2019 in Sokoto state according to their culture and customs.

It just seems their tradition is silent about the age people can marry though they are below the constitutional age.

Lets take a look at some throwback photos of the youngest couple.

“Size Doesn’t Matter” – See Throwback Photos Of This Couple Which Proves It

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True love is when you finally meet the person who wants to be with you no matter how you look or who you are.

The photos of a couple all loved up despite their physical difference in appearance is more than proof that size doesn’t matter.

See photos of their pre-wedding shoots and wedding photos.

How to Stop Making the Same Mistakes in a Relationship and Learn

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Do you feel like all your breakups happen for the same reason? Read on to learn how to stop making the same mistakes in a relationship.

Most of us are not as self-aware as we would like to believe. This is why we repeatedly end up in similar relationships. So, how to stop making the same mistakes in a relationship? Well, let’s dive in and learn together.

We go from one breakup to the next without realizing that we are making the same choices; therefore, the same mistakes. And once we do realize that our breakups and relationships woes are due to the same thing, it is often too late to fix.

Well, realizing that it is happening and admitting is the first step. Once you know you’re doing than you can take steps to break your patterns.

Why we make the same mistakes

In order to work through a deep-seated issue like repetitive behavior, you need to find the source. Working on anything without knowing the root cause only silences the symptoms, it doesn’t cure the problem.

You may have already tried to stop making the same relationship mistakes by dating outside of your type or making different choices, but, at the end, it’s the same. That is because you are trying to find a solution without knowing what the problem is.

If we know we keep making the same mistakes in a relationship, shouldn’t we just be able to stop? It isn’t so easy. We often go bad to the same mistakes oddly, because they’re comfortable. I hate to say this, but, most of this is due to our childhoods. The way you watch your parents deal with problems tends to be how we deal with problems. We adapted to how our parents or adult relatives raised us.

Then as adults, we look for someone who shares those happy aspects of our childhoods. But along with those feel-good emotions, many of those characteristics have a flip-side. This means we often choose a partner who reminds of us someone from our earlier years for the good things, but they share the bad things too.

The same goes for earlier relationships. As you continue on in your dating journey, you tend to go for people that remind you of those from your past. Maybe your first partner was outgoing  and charming but things went south. Eventually, you meet someone who triggers those same feelings you had when you met your ex. Without thinking of the pain of the breakup, you are interested because of the comfort you get from those initial feelings.

Being aware of these links can help you think more thoroughly about the partners you choose moving forward.

How to stop making the same mistakes in a relationship

After you realize that you keep making the same mistakes in a relationship and find the root of the problem, you can work toward a solution. But, it won’t be immediate. Just like any emotional or mental healing, this is a pattern you’re used to, and breaking out of it isn’t as simple as a realization.

Breaking such deeply ingrained patterns like making the same mistakes in a relationship require patience and practice until those changes come naturally. Making these changes is like breaking a habit. Cold turkey isn’t the best method.

So, how do you stop making the same mistakes in a relationship?

#1 Think about it. First, just labeling those patterns will help. Pointing out this mistake is the best thing you can do to really gain deeper insight. Do you rush into relationships quickly? Do you ditch your friends when you’re in a relationship? Are you prone to being codependent?

When you are able to answer this, you can take further steps.

#2 Answer questions. Not all of us have a therapist, but if we did, this is when they would ask you why you think that is. Therapists don’t offer advice but usually ask you questions to develop a different perspective.

Ask yourself why you continue on with this pattern? Is it protecting you from being hurt? How is it hurting you? When you can qualify your relationship habit as negatively affecting you, you will be more motivated to change it.

#3 Take accountability. Most of the time when we make the same mistakes in a relationship, we don’t notice it until it’s already happened. We don’t notice that we are falling for the same type of person until it’s too late. But, that doesn’t mean you’re too late.

You can say sorry to yourself and learn from that. You might find yourself complaining to a friend about your significant other when they say that’s the same thing your ex used to do. Instead of denying or ignoring it, sit with that.

Just because you are dating someone doesn’t mean you have to keep dating them if you know it isn’t the right choice for you. You should be able to admit what you were doing was wrong for you in order to find what’s right.

#4 Practice. It can be hard to practice unlearning a behavior when it comes to dating. You don’t want to date people to just work on yourself. And a lot of mistakes made in a relationship happen when things get serious.

But there are ways to practice the habits you want to break and the ones you want to pick up. If you want to meet a different type of person, go to different places. You don’t need to date anyone but just making conversation and experiencing different people can get you comfortable around other types.

Instead of a bar, go to a gym or a game or concert. Sign up for cooking or dance classes. Even talk to people outside of your circle at parties or work. None of this must end up with you dating someone. It’ll just open your horizons.

If you struggle to be honest or vulnerable with new people, start by opening up to your family and friends. See how it feels. Let them in. It will remind you that being vulnerable makes you strong and enhances relationships.

My issue was always expecting too much. I would expect every first date to be a relationship and for every connection to last. I would constantly be let down and disappointed. That made me bitter and negative about dating in general. I had to practice balancing my hope and my expectations. I had to let go of any expectations from a connection or date and just keep my hope there so I was excited but not too anxious.

Once I was able to find that balance, I met my boyfriend. I was able to take things slow and just enjoy our time together without being so eager about being in a relationship. I didn’t change what I wanted but changed how I thought about it.

It sounds easier than it is, but it is so worth it to have a new outlook. Whether you’re single or not, learning how to stop making the same mistakes in a relationship will help you in so many ways.

If You Truly Love Her, Love Her The Way She Deserves To Be Loved

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You do love her, I know that.

You think without her, you’d be lost. You feel blessed for having her around and you can’t imagine your life without her being a part of it.

But let me tell you something: You’re just a human being and all human beings make mistakes. And one of the greatest mistakes you can make is not loving her the way she deserves.

And if you don’t treat her right, you’ll destroy her. You will no longer find bliss, joy, and fulfillment in your relationship, but misery, emptiness, and pain.

Therefore, if you truly love her – love her right.

Always remember how you felt when you first saw her. Remember how your heart beat wildly and your whole body trembled when she first laid her eyes on you.

Remember her lively nature, her beauty, her smile, her funny jokes.

Remember that you saw things in her that you have never found in another woman.

Remember the warmth, thrill, and passion you felt when you started dating her. And make sure you keep the flare of that passion always alive between you.

If you truly love her, make her happy. Let her know how loved and appreciated she is. Be the reason behind all her smiles. Be the reason she can’t wait to come home after work.

Choose her every day and make her your priority. Let her know how much she means to you. Make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world.

If you truly love her, respect her. Respect her feelings, needs, decisions, and desires. Respect her opinions no matter how different they are from your own.

If you truly love her, listen to her. Listen to her attentively when she’s telling you how her day was, when she’s venting her frustration or anger, or when she’s complaining about her jealous co-worker.

Listen to her, not with the intention to respond to her or react to her opinions, but to actually understand what she has to say.

Let her know that her words matter to you.

And when she shares with you her weaknesses, fears, failures, or past mistakes, don’t try to fix her – that’s not what she wants. Instead, know  that they’ve made the person she is today.

If you truly love her, make her feel safe and protected. Let her know that she doesn’t have to be afraid of anything when you’re around. Let her know that for her, you’re willing to walk through fire and fight monsters. Let her know that for her happiness and safety, you’re prepared to do anything, even sacrifice your own happiness and needs.

If you truly love her, accept and cherish her the way she is. Let her know that you’re aware of all her whims, annoying habits, and weaknesses and that they don’t bother you. Let her know that she’s perfect to you with all her imperfections.

If you truly love her, show interest in the things she loves and enjoys doing. Watch romantic comedies with her, if that’s her favorite movie genre. Go for a walk in nature with her if that’s how she wants to relax.

If you truly love her, push her forward. Encourage her to pursue her highest goals and wildest dreams. Believe in her and know her worth and make sure she’s aware of it too.

Encourage her to grow and she’ll do the same thing for you.

If you truly love her, reach the deepest parts of her soul. Touch parts of her that no one has ever touched. Let her be vulnerable around you and never make her feel like she is “overly emotional” or “crazy” when she starts crying in front of you.

But also, make sure you, too, undress your soul and show your vulnerable sides in front of her. Let her see who you really are and what you carry in your heart. Let her touch the deepest, most hidden parts of your soul as well.

If you truly love her, wear your heart on your sleeve. Treat her with lots of love and affection. Show her how much you love her and never let her doubt your feelings for her. Never let her feel the pain of unrequited love. Show her where she stands in your life.

Don’t love her only when your anxious thoughts, insecurities, and fears reach their peak.

Don’t love her only when you need someone to comfort you, ease out your worries, or heal your wounds from the past.

If you truly love her, never break her. Never break her heart.

She’s been hurt before and she wouldn’t stand being hurt again. She’s dated guys who took her for granted and played with her feelings. Guys to whom she was never good enough, no matter how kind, compassionate, and loving she was.

She dated guys who made her think that love is hard and painful.

So, if she’s in a relationship with you, know that she’s let her guard down. She has overcome her insecurities and fears and realized that you deserve her love and trust.

So, never let her down. Show her she’s been right choosing you.

Let her know she’ll never have to fear love again.

If you truly love her, treat her right. Treat her with patience, kindness, compassion, love, respect, and dignity.

Love her the way she deserves to be loved.

Love her sincerely. Deeply. Wholeheartedly. Passionately. Unconditionally.

And, trust me, if you love her this way, she will love you even more.

13 Signs of a Good First Date to Calm Your Nerves & Get Excited

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First dates are equally terrifying and exciting. How can you be sure the other person enjoyed themselves? Well, understand the signs of a good first date.

If you’ve recently been on a first date and not sure whether it went as well as you thought or not, let’s check out the most important signs of a good first date for you to check against.

Signs of a good date to look out for

First dates are probably one of the most confusing events on the planet. You’re never sure if the other person enjoyed it as much as you. You’re terrified you might have said or done something they found strange.

Beforehand, you’re so nervous you have nausea in abundance. I often wonder why we put ourselves through these things.

Of course, we do it because love is a wonderful thing. But to reach that point, we must have first dates. The key to a good first date is to enjoy yourself, relax, and let things flow. You’re not at a job interview. If it doesn’t go well, you can always shrug your shoulders and move on.

Does that help when you’re in the moment? Of course not!

#1 The conversation flowed without many awkward silences. If there are one or two awkward silences, that’s fine. Remember, you don’t know each other at the moment. But if the conversation flowed well over the course of the date, that’s a pretty good indicator that the date was a success.

When the conversation stalls and stutters and the whole thing makes you want to cringe, that’s quite the opposite situation!

#2 The date lasted longer than planned. If you didn’t look at the clock once and when you finally do check the time, it’s way later than you thought. It’s one of the signs of a good first date! Losing track of time means you’re enjoying yourself and the other person must feel the same way. They didn’t subtly divert the date towards an end point.

#3 You didn’t notice much of what was going on around you. This is definitely one of the signs of a good first date. You were so absorbed in the other person and the thrilling conversation you were having, that you didn’t notice anything that was going on around you.

If you’re looking at the walls, checking out the wallpaper pattern, and memorizing the menu, the chances are the date is not as scintillating as it should be!

#4 The conversation wasn’t one sided. If the conversation was equal, and you were contributing as much as they were, that’s another good indicator. If the conversation is more towards one person than the other, it could mean that one person is enjoying it more. However, an equal flow of conversation means you’re both invested in what you’re talking about and enjoying yourselves.

#5 You regularly made meaningful eye contact and gentle touching. If you managed to hold eye contact a few times and there was the occasional brush of an arm or foot, you’re finding each other attractive. And you’re both enjoying the date. Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to jump on one another as soon as you get out of the bar or restaurant. But subtle touches and looks go a long way!

#6 There was a lot of mutual laughing. Laughing together is one of the signs of a good first date. It’s a way we relieve tension and relax. So, if you’re both laughing, it’s a good indicator that the date didn’t only go well, but that the chances of another one are quite high.

#7 You completely forget about your phone. This is a rarity these days! If you forgot about checking your phone during the date, it’s one of the signs that things went well. You were so engrossed in the other person that your social media feeds and text messages simply weren’t important to you for those couple of hours. It also means that you were present in the moment. That’s never a bad thing.

#8 Your nerves disappeared quickly. It’s normal to feel a little nervous before a first date and when you first arrive. If you failed to notice the nerves shortly after meeting your date, it means you were comfortable and at ease. That’s definitely one of the signs of a good first date!

#9 You talked about meeting up again and things you might do together. A bad date doesn’t have any mention of things you’re going to do in the future, e.g. perhaps go to a gig next week or go to a new restaurant you’ve both fancied trying. If there was talk of doing something else together, then you can rest assured that it went well.

#10 The conversation wasn’t just superficial. It’s easy to sit there and talk about the restaurant decor or the weather, but the conversation was a little deeper. For example, you talked about family, friends, life, work, etc. It shows you connected and started to get to know one another.

#11 The date continued elsewhere. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you went back home with your date, but if you did, that’s fine too. However, if you moved on to a club or a bar after your meal, it’s a sign that neither of you wanted the date to end. You wanted to talk some more. That’s a great sign!

#12 You simply felt comfortable. Whether you notice it or not, when you feel comfortable with someone, you instantly relax. You’re able to be your genuine self. When you’re not relaxed you’re stiff, your body language is closed, and it’s not easy to talk. So, if you felt comfortable, you can be sure that the date went well.

#13 You were in contact with each other soon after the date ended. If you received a text after the date ended or you sent one and had a reply, that’s one of the signs of a good first date. It shows that you wanted to follow up on the great time you had. You weren’t quite ready to cut the conversation so abruptly.

If you can nod your head to a few of these signs of a good first date, the chances of a round two coming your way are pretty high!

First dates are usually high pressure affairs. But when you break it down to what it really is, two people meeting for a chat, you can relax and break down those nervous barriers. Make it easier by meeting somewhere you both feel comfortable and where you can talk without having to shout over loud music.

The nerves that often accompany first dates are what cause the confusion over whether it went well or not. You might feel that it did. Then, you question the small things, such as whether or not they found your joke funny or whether they took offense to what you said about the food. Chill out! It’s just a conversation between two people who find each other attractive.

If you can identify a few signs of a good first date, the chances are that it went well. Be yourself! Always remember that the other person is probably just as nervous as you are.

You’re Never Going To Be Truly Happy Until You Learn To Be Happy On Your Own

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We all wonder why it is so damn hard to maintain a decent relationship nowadays and keep that spark alive, but on the other side, nobody is doing their own part. Nobody really cares about taking responsibility for this whole issue or simply think about it at all.

We are always waiting for the other person to make the move. 

Because that’s the easier way.And that my friends is the reason why most of our relationships and marriages nowadays fall apart.

We expect our partners to make us happy. Yes, that’s right.

We feel miserable, insecure and alone. We are unsatisfied with our lives and we get into relationships thinking that being with another person will eventually add real value to our life. We lie to ourselves that being loved by someone will bring us the happiness that we desperately need.

And eventually, we realize the truth.

Happiness is something that can only be found within us.

You can have the most loving and amazing person for a partner, but if you aren’t happy with yourself first, you will never be happy with them. That’s just the way it goes.

We all have our own baggage that we carry. But even though our loved ones will always be there to help us with it, we are the only ones responsible for dealing with it.

It’s not their fault that you hate yourself. It is not their fault that you are not happy with the way your life is. It is not their fault that you are feeling lost and confused. That’s on you. You are the one responsible for the course of your life.

Your partner is not supposed to fix you or make you love yourself. You are the one who has to find a way to do that.

Finding peace and happiness within yourself is one of the most important things that you will ever have to do in your life. That whole process is meant to be a solo journey. Because that is the only way you will ever learn to truly love and appreciate yourself.

Being with the right person won’t help you love yourself if you haven’t already learned that on your own. It won’t quiet down your insecurities and it won’t calm your fears.

If you aren’t happy with yourself, you won’t be happy with your relationship.

You will notice that no matter how much you try to ignore your issues, there will be moments when they resurface. You will catch yourself acting overly emotional, jealous and irrational. You will catch yourself wondering whether they really love you or not. You will catch yourself being paranoid about them leaving you. You will catch yourself creating unnecessary drama and tension.

You will catch yourself destroying your relationship.

That is why I need you to promise yourself that you are going to start treating yourself better. Your mental and emotional health is something that only you can work on. Loving yourself before loving anyone else is something you must do before falling in love.

That is why it is so important to take care of your own issues before starting a life with another person.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many times your partner tells you that they love you. If your insecurities inside of you make you doubt everything, that is your own problem, not theirs.

Always remember. It is only when you learn to accept and love yourself the way you are that you’ll find it easier to accept the love from everyone around you.

Affordable Ways to Be More Romantic

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Sometimes Christmas Is Just A Proof That We’ve Made It Through Another Year

There are many couples who would love to have more romance in their lives, but there are so many things standing in the way. Some couples have to juggle work, raising a family, and financial issues among other things, which can impact on the romance in their relationship. Others find it very difficult to afford anything but the bare essentials, which can impact what they can do as a couple. 

Many people who want to spice up their physical relationship do so by investing in things such as sensual lifestyle product, but when it comes to the romance in your relationship you need to think of more heartfelt gestures. The good news is that you do not have to spend a fortune on being romantic, as there are plenty of things you can do that are very cheap or completely free – and will mean a lot to your partner. In this article, we will look at some affordable ways in which you can be more romantic. 

Some Options to Consider 

The good news is that you have plenty of simple yet very effective options open to you if you want to add more romance without breaking the bank. One very simple thing you can do is to simply surprise your partner with a romantic homecooked meal. All you need is the ingredients and some free romantic meal recipes that are available online. You can then rustle up something fabulous and create the perfect setting with candles, romantic music, and a beautifully laid table. You could even consider having your romantic meal on the patio in the nicer weather and have fairy lights to add a little extra magic. 

Another very cost-effective romantic gesture is to whisk your partner off for picnic one sunny afternoon. All you need to do is get some simple picnic food together, pack some chilled wine and other drinks, and head off to the beach, park, or other local beauty spot. Of course, it may be that there are no suitable places that are within easy reach, in which case you can have your romantic picnic in your very own garden. This gives you a great chance to enjoy some fresh air, eat delicious and simple food, and enjoy one another’s company as a couple. 

If time allows, you could consider taking your partner away for a couple of days so you can enjoy a change of scenery as well as some alone time away from day to day distractions. You don’t have to spend a fortune on doing this – you could even go camping for a couple of days where you can dine under the stars, enjoy adventure and excitement, and take in stunning natural beauty. There are plenty of affordable options for those who are on a budget and being able to get away from the stress of your normal life for a short while can work wonders for both of you. 

So, these are just some of the options you can consider if you want to be more romantic, but you are on a budget.

You Deserve To Be With Someone Who Knows Your Worth

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You deserve to be with someone who will know your worth. Someone to whom you’ll be more than good enough.

You deserve to be with someone who will show you the true meaning of love. Someone who will show you that love doesn’t have to be tough and painful. Someone who will show you what raw, genuine, deep love feels like.

You deserve someone who will be willing to pull down the walls you’ve built around your heart to protect it. Because your heart got broken too many times. Because your trust was betrayed too many times. Because you committed to people who couldn’t see that you were a person that was the easiest to love. You were a woman with a heart of gold.

You committed to people for whom you were willing to fight with every part of yourself. But, they didn’t care about it.  They didn’t care about you.

That’s why you deserve someone whose biggest fear will be losing you. Someone who will walk through fire and fight demons to make you feel happy and protected.

You deserve to be with someone who won’t be afraid to love and be loved. Someone who won’t be ashamed to express their feelings. Instead, they will wear their heart on their sleeve and they’ll never make you doubt their love for you.

You deserve to be with someone who won’t think that showing their vulnerabilities makes them look weak.

You deserve to be loved by someone who will make sure you know how special you are to them.

You deserve someone who will make your eyes glow with happiness when they’re around. Someone who will make your body tremble and your heart skip a beat at their touch. Someone who will be tender and supportive on your bad days and loving and passionate on your good days.

You deserve someone who will make you feel wanted. Someone who will shower you with affection, sweet words, and compliments. Someone who you’ll always be able to rely on. Someone who will feel like home.

You deserve someone who will accept and love you for who you are and always let you be yourself. Someone who will be aware of all your weaknesses and faults and who will have seen you at your worst, and still accept and cherish you the way you are.

You deserve someone who will be aware of your beauty, both outward and inward, and of the purity of your soul. Someone who will know that you’re the best thing that could have ever happened to them. That you’re their strength. Their guiding light. Their blessing.

You deserve to be loved by someone who will be patient with you and who won’t lose their temper and call you “needy,” “clingy,” or “boring” when you get emotional and show your vulnerable sides.

You deserve someone who will show understanding of your problems. Someone who will patiently listen to you when you complain about what a bad day you had at work or about how much your best friend disappointed you. Someone who won’t leave you to fight your battles on your own.

Instead, they’ll stick with you through thick and thin. They’ll be your crying shoulder and greatest support. They’ll do their best to help you overcome your problems and see that gorgeous smile of yours on your face again.

You deserve someone who will enjoy spending time with you. Someone to whom it won’t matter whether you spend the Saturday night in the best club in the city or at home, watching your favorite movie and eating pizza.

You deserve to be loved by someone who won’t make you beg for their attention and love.

You deserve someone who will be honest with and loyal to you. Someone who will be both your best friend and an amazing lover. Someone who will respect your opinions, ideas, and decisions, but also tell you when you say or do something wrong or stupid.

You deserve someone who will show interest in the things you like. Someone who will do the seemingly unimportant things that actually mean a lot to you.

You deserve someone who will send you a bouquet of white roses to your office because they remember they’re your favorite ones. Someone who will leave you cute love notes on your pillow in the morning so that you begin the day knowing how much loved you are.

You deserve to be loved by someone who will tell you to text them when you get home because they want to know you’re safe and okay. Someone who won’t forget to ask you how your day went. Someone who will call you just to hear your voice. Someone who will terribly miss you when you’re not around.

You deserve someone who will be proud of everything you are and everything you do. Someone who will show the world how grateful they are for having you in their life. Someone to whom you’ll be the most important person in the world.

You deserve to be loved by someone who won’t see you as a burden or just one more obligation they have to fulfill. Instead, you’ll be their strength. Their energy. Their priority.

You deserve to be with someone who will know your worth and remind you of it. Someone who will make you their choice every single day. Someone who will love you unconditionally and never give up on you.

DON’T BE AFRAID OF LOSING HIM MORE THAN YOU’RE AFRAID OF LOSING YOURSELF

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You love this man—there is no doubt about that. Naturally, when you care for someone this much, the last thing you want is to continue living without them.

Therefore, it’s not strange that you don’t want to lose this man. In fact, you’re ready to do whatever it takes to keep him by your side.

I won’t lie to you—true love needs fighting for. It requires a lot of sacrifices and compromises.

Nevertheless, killing the person you are just to please the other party should never be one of these sacrifices.

The success of your relationship should never go to the stake of your own personal happiness. 

After all, sometimes, you don’t have a say when it comes to losing the man you love.

As much as you try to keep him by your side and no matter what you do to prevent him from leaving, he will abandon you sooner or later, if that’s something he wants.

This is one of those situations.

You’re currently facing a crossroads and you can either choose to let him go or let go of the woman you are.

I get it; losing him is scary.

You’re terrified of having to go through life on your own. Scared of having to survive without this man whom you thought was your other half.

You don’t think that you will be able to make it. After all, for all of this time, you saw this guy as the only source of your happiness, as the reason for your smile and as your biggest ally.

You think of yourself as incomplete and incompetent without him. You see him as the source of your strength, as your reason to live and as your fuel for existing.

Naturally, you think that the end of this relationship is also the end of the world. You are convinced that you’ll never fall in love with another guy again and that you’ll never recover from losing this guy.

Well, let me tell you something—even if he walks away, your broken heart will heal. Time will do its magic and before you know it, you will be better. 

However, do you know what is something you would never recover from? Losing yourself

In fact, that is something you should be scared of the most. Be afraid of allowing this worthless man to spiritually kill the woman you are.

Be afraid of the possibility of this heartbreak breaking you as well. Of the possibility of you vanishing from the face of earth.

No, I’m not saying that you will literally die. However, if you go on like this, you will stop living for real.

Instead, you’ll only start existing and surviving each day and I’m sure you’ll agree there is a huge difference between the two.

I’m begging you not to allow this man to kill your spark. Don’t let him kill your optimism or destroy your good vibe.

Don’t let him be the reason for the girl you were before he stormed right through your life disappearing.

Yes, losing him will hurt. Nevertheless, if you turn around a few years from now and see that he’s managed to impact your entire life, it will hurt even more. 

Most importantly, don’t let this break-up change the essence of the person you’ve always been. Don’t allow it to turn you into a bitter, negative or resentful girl because you’ve never been one.

Don’t let his departure make you a heartless girl with high and thick walls around her soul. Don’t allow him convince you that you’re not meant to be loved, just because he didn’t want to love you the right way.

Don’t let this man kill your faith in people. Trust me—not all men are the same, even though you can’t see it now.

So please, don’t make any compromises with yourself, in the hope of keeping any guy around. Don’t shut yourself off just to make him stay by your side.

Don’t lose your individuality and don’t let him change you if that’s the only way for him not to leave you.

Don’t let him shape you in order to fit his standards and don’t do anything to please him if it doesn’t make you happy.

Trust me—you’ll survive the end of any romantic relationship, including this one.

Nevertheless, if you allow the relationship you have with yourself to break, that is something you’ll never fully recover from.

5 Reasons Why Even Strong Women End Up In Difficult Relationships

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Being strong is not as easy as it sounds. Strong women tend to forget that they can also be vulnerable, which is why they are used to giving too much to people who are unwilling or unable to give anything back.

A strong woman is independent, confident, emotionally intelligent and self-aware and she knows that she has a lot to offer. But she is no less human for it. She can easily get blinded by love, so the people she cares about often take advantage of her strong yet kind nature.

There are some reasons why sometimes even strong women end up in difficult and painful relationships, in spite of all their toughness, or better said, because of it:

1. Being a strong woman doesn’t mean that you are shielded from all the toxic and narcissistic people.

It means that they are even more overpowering to you. Toxic people need others who have emotional intelligence, confidence, toughness, and inner strength, so that they can drain them. They rely on a person’s compassionate heart that will always help and be there for them. Toxic and narcissistic people have everything to gain from strong women but they have nothing to offer.

2. Traumas from the past can resurface while they are in a relationship.

They were born strong and life made them stronger. Strong women usually go through a lot of difficulties and hardship in life. They are so good at being on their own and entering a relationship can turn their world upside down. Psychologists even indicate that they might have been through a substantial trauma and they often come across partners who trigger that trauma. In a way, that’s their way of confronting their past.

3. They are used to being the ones who give more and receive almost nothing.

They are used to giving until they have nothing left, which is why they attract needy people—the ones who have no problem taking all the love, understanding and support without giving anything in return. This happens because they are used to being independent, they are used to taking care of themselves, so they don’t see the lack of reciprocity until they are emotionally drained.

4. They think they can influence or change a person they love.

They stay in bad relationships longer than necessary because they feel like they have the power to change somebody. Their compassionate nature makes them think that they need to stick with any difficulty they may encounter in order to help the person they care about. They can waste a lot of time until they realize that they can’t change anybody or influence somebody who doesn’t want change in their life.

5. They subconsciously choose more challenging and difficult relationships.

Whether they realize it or not, they tend to find ‘normal’ relationships boring. They like a challenge, a sort of project of fixing somebody or fixing a relationship they are in. They fail to realize that not everybody wants their help and there are people out there who are toxic by nature and there is no fixing them. The bad thing for strong women here is that they are so focused on the other person that they lose sight of themselves. They put all the effort in and end up being in a one-sided relationship.

In order to overcome difficult relationships, these strong women have to stop putting up that tough exterior all the time and allow themselves to be vulnerable. Sadness and hardship are inevitable parts of anyone’s life and that’s something that they need to accept. They are prone to building up walls after a bad experience and while that might help in the short-term, it pushes the good people (who are worthy of a strong woman’s attention) away from them in the long-term.
They have to stop thinking that the weight of the world is on their shoulders and that they have a duty to fix everything. They aren’t the ones who have to put up with everything all the time just because they can handle it. They can’t be the ones giving more all the time. They need a partner who will help them in finding a balance between being strong and leaning on somebody else at times.

The upside of all the difficulties they endure is that those wrong relationships they go through only make them stronger. They know what not to do in their next relationships. Experience teaches them that by choosing the same man again and again, they can’t expect a different outcome. They help them discover themselves, renew their strength and get out of a bad experience with the most valuable lesson of self-love.

Finding A Boyfriend Isn’t As Hard As Finding The Guy Worthy Of That Title

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I never knew how to answer the million-dollar question of “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

People would list all my good qualities and all I could do was turn it into a joke and say that I was overqualified.

The truth is I can have a boyfriend any day, but I want a man who’s worthy of my time and that kind of man is hard to find in this day and age.

I don’t want someone out of this world, but a kind man who doesn’t lie, cheat, or play games would be nice. 

But out of all men I’ve ever met who wanted to date me or who I was in a relationship with, I wouldn’t be able to make one decent guy.

What the hell is going on here?

Where have all of the “good men” disappeared to?

Well, I think the problem is that men have changed.

They’ve evolved into worse versions instead of better ones.

Rather than keeping some old school moves and charm, they’ve become lazy and self-absorbed.

Well, maybe not lazy overall, but lazy in the way they approach women and relationships.

Most of them aren’t ready to make any effort.

They do everything at their own convenience.

They expect you to be all in while they keep their options open. 

man giving flowers to his woman

Some of them are intimidated by women because they’ve become more powerful.

Women today are independent and ambitious, and they don’t need a man to take care of them.

Then again, men don’t like women who are codependent either.

They call them clingy and needy, and they lose interest.

It seems that the best women are those who know how to maintain the balance between strong and needy.

But even that isn’t enough when they stumble upon someone who is emotionally unavailable.

Most men today fear commitment more than they feared the monster under their bed when they were little boys. 

So they like to keep things “casual.”

They want relationship benefits, but not a relationship.

They simply don’t want to make even the slightest commitment.

Level up from commitment-phobes are fuckboys, and you can find them around every corner. 

These guys share the same fear of being “tied down” in a relationship, but they’re masters at playing games with female hearts.

They disappear for days and then come back acting as though nothing happened.

They use texting as a manipulation technique rather than communication tool.

Guys like this hardly ever let you know where you stand right from the start.

They say exactly what they think you want to hear.

They sweet-talk you into thinking that there’s potential for something more, but sooner or later you find out that they’re only interested in how to get into your pants. 

couple drinking wine

Fuckboys and similar losers alike crave your attention and the attention of every other girl they meet.

So they’ll beg you to send nudes they can add to their collection.

They are rude, disrespectful, and feel entitled to your time and space.

Toxic, manipulative, narcissistic men are also our reality. 

There are so many red flags we need to watch out for that we can’t relax and enjoy dating anymore.

These types of men are not so easy to spot, so we usually recognize them when we’ve already developed feelings for them and it’s become harder to let them go.

Some of us who had the misfortune of dating some of these worst men ended up with relationship PTSD – emotionally broken, low self-esteem, and fear of relationships are just some side effects.

This is just scratching the surface, but it’s pretty obvious it’s not easy for women today to find someone who deserves to be their boyfriend.

It’s gruelling to find someone trustworthy, genuine, and normal.

couple laughing

All other dark shades of men are easy to find.

It seems they are the majority.

However, I strongly believe that good men still exist – they’re just an endangered species.

It’s no piece of cake finding them, but it’s also not impossible.

It just takes a bit longer than any of us would want.

That’s why it’s better to stay single until someone worthy comes along.

It’s better to have peace in your soul and happiness you yourself created than being in a relationship with just anybody.

So the next time someone asks you why you’re still single, be sure to tell them you still haven’t found someone worthy of the title.

If He Does These 6 Things, He Will Never Cheat On You

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People change over time. They go through all kind of stuff in their lives and that leaves consequences. So, you can never actually be one hundred percent sure that your partner will never cheat on you.

Just remember how many stories you’ve heard about couples who you thought would never break up but they did anyway and it always came as a shock. He was cheating on her and you thought their love was the one you wanted to have and so on.

So, you can never be one hundred percent sure he won’t cheat on you.

But despite the stories you’ve heard, of course you want to believe that your man will never do that to you. And in most cases, you are right. If he really loves you, he will prove to you every single day that you matter to him.

But we can’t help the insecurities that sneak up on us from time to time. To erase those insecurities for good, read some of the signs that your man will never cheat on you:

1. He trusts you completely

You know that trust is the most important thing in a relationship. You build everything you have on trust. If you don’t trust your man, your relationship will probably end soon because trust issues bring a whole other spectrum of problems with them, like jealousy and suchlike. He knows that and he trusts you. He loves you so much that he will follow up on his promises. He knows you will never break your word and you will do what you say you will every time.

He will trust your actions even when he doesn’t agree with you. He’ll probably tell you that he thinks something is a bad idea, but he will let you do it anyway because somewhere deep inside he knows you’ve got a good reason to do whatever you intended to do. He trusts you so much because he knows you won’t let anything destroy what you have.

2. He is completely honest

There are no secrets in your relationship, at least none of those big ones. I mean everyone has secrets, but if they won’t change the direction in which your relationship is going, they don’t matter that much. He will always tell you what’s on his mind because he knows you’ll understand him and you won’t ever judge him for anything he does.

He has so much faith in you that he will tell you embarrassing things about himself that other people don’t know. This is just another sign he really has no intention of cheating on you because he believes that your relationship will last; otherwise, he wouldn’t have told you almost everything about himself.

3. He always has your back

He wants to be a part of your life by being involved in it as much as he can without being clingy. He will show you support for everything that you do and he will be there for you when you really need someone to lean on. This doesn’t mean he will interfere with your life. He still knows that your choices are yours alone and he will respect that. But if you make a mistake, he will never tell you: “I told you so!” Instead, he will help you walk out of whatever happened to you a stronger and better person.

He will support you with learning from your mistakes because he respects and loves you. When he doesn’t agree with you, he won’t try to persuade you into thinking or doing anything different—he will be there for you if you make a mistake and if you fall, he will help you get back up on your feet.

4. You can tell him anything you want

There are no restrictions on the two of you. When you are alone, he knows and you know that you are in a safe zone and that you can tell each other everything. He will invest everything he has in your relationship because he knows there are no limits. He knows he can share his feelings with you and that you will always understand him and never judge him.

See also: If A Guy You’re With Does These 7 Things, He Is Your Soulmate

5. He respects you

Your opinions and your voice are like his own. He will never stop you in the middle of a sentence, acting smarter or more superior to you. He knows you are a beautiful and intelligent human being who is perfectly able to express herself. He knows that you’ve got a voice that has to be heard. And on that note, he will give you more reasons to speak up your mind and to never be scared to say what you think.

He shows you respect by talking about you with his friends and ‘showing you off’ every chance he gets. He is proud of who you are as a person and what you have accomplished in life. He will never undermine you or put you down in front of someone.

6. He has buried the past

There are no old flames in his life because you are more than enough for him and he is grateful he has you. He has extinguished every old flame he had. He left his past in the past and has concentrated on his beautiful present with you, as well as on an even more beautiful future. He will never do anything to jeopardize that.

It’s not easy to resist the sexual tension with an old lover and it’s always easier to go back to something you are already familiar with, but he is brave enough to ‘risk’ it with you to renounce every girl from his past for good.

7 Things You Need To Know About Finding The Right Guy

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We’ve been taught through media, movies and the stories we’ve heard our whole lives that ‘the one’ will come and that all we need to do is be ready to receive love.

Everyone has their ‘one’ and that’s what is so wrong about it because no relationship advice should sound like ‘just be patient, the one will come’.

What? Does he really fly right out of the sky to be your one and only true love? I’d like to tell you that you’ve probably met someone who was a potential life partner for you.

You must be thinking that I’m going out of my mind, but it’s the truth.

When we look for the right guy, we think that that position could only be taken by one person in particular, but the truth is that there a lot of guys out there to whom you’re attracted and have the right behavior that you’d like to see in your husband to be.

There is this story that fucks with our minds about how we will meet someone:we will bump into him one day and the time will stop. We think that we will instantly be overwhelmed with feelings.

It’ll be like we’re the only two people in the entire world. But that’s so wrong. Relationships take a lot of work, commitment and trust.

Because of that, we’re giving you 7 things that you need to know before finding your right guy:

1. The puppy love stage can’t last forever

At the beginning of the relationship, you will be overwhelmed with amazing feelings of joy and happiness, like there nothing that can break you two apart.

But how many times have you experienced this? You meet him and everything goes awesome, but further into the relationship, he starts being an asshole and there is nothing else you can do but break the whole thing up.

The puppy love stage is the shallow kind of love for the first few months when everything is going great, but you must be aware that hard times will come your way and you two need to find ways to get through them.

2. A fight doesn’t equal a break up

So, this one I’ve learned the hard way. I would get into a fight with my boyfriend and in an instant, I would break up the relationship because I thought that there was nothing I could do.

I thought that I would never fight with my true love and I’ve been suffering because of that—a lot. I am not telling you that insulting your partner or screaming and yelling is OK.

But arguments that happen along the way aren’t worthy of throwing in the towel.

3. Recognize the ‘unhealthy’ connection

Meaning passion and lust. Lust isn’t something that creates a lasting and loving relationship. It’s just an explosion of chemistry between you two.

That doesn’t bring long-term happiness. Healthy relationships aren’t built on that but rather on communication and deep connection.

A healthy relationship also has passionate sex, but it goes together with a emotional and mental connection.

4. Deep conversations are crucial

This goes together with the past point. I’m not telling you that you need to discuss the origin of the Universe but talking about your emotions and thoughts is very important.

To open up to your partner is the most important thing here (even more important than sex). Talking about your future together is like creating a path that leads you two to a successful and healthy relationship.

I mean, if he doesn’t want kids and you do and there is quite a chance that none of you want to change your mind, so why would you want to spend your energy on that. But how would you know if you didn’t talk it through?

5. Don’t expect him to heal you

If you’ve been through a lot in your past relationships, if you’ve been unappreciated by your parents, there is a chance that you are now trying to make it all better by putting all your broken pieces into someone else’s hands and expecting them to rebuild you.

That’s not really effective and it can cause you too much pain if your expectations aren’t met. Rather, put in some time and effort to fix your own self before you start a new relationship.

Only you know how to glue your pieces back together.

6. Healthy relationships are built over time

Unlike the unhealthy kind of relationship, the healthy one starts slowly, with mutual interests and attraction rather than lust and an explosion of emotions.

Healthy relationships take time to build. Try to take it slowly and use your head. I know it may be hard, but try to use your head before your heart, at least at the beginning.

Your mind doesn’t operate according to reason and rationality. So, try to understand your thought process that goes with the relationship and take your time.

7. Watch for the qualities that make him a keeper

Women come to me complaining about how they’re treated in a relationship, about how the man isn’t the right one for them or how they simply don’t feel loved anymore.

That’s why we go for someone who clearly isn’t hubby, or even relationship, material. We tend to overlook the red flags and fall head over heels for him when we know that he’s not right for us.

That why there are a few little signs and qualities of a keeper:

He doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself.

He embraces your imperfections, loving them just the way you should love them. He accepts you completely and he knows that you are worthy of love no matter your flaws.

He’s always there for you.

Even if he has something to do, if you need him, he’ll be there for you. If you are sick or you can’t do something on your own, he will be the one who will give you a helping hand and you don’t need to worry that he’ll let you down.

He asks for your opinion.

He wants to involve you in everything he does, including decision-making. He asks for your opinion about certain topics and he appreciates your input.

He introduces you to his friends and family.

He isn’t afraid to show you off because he’s so proud to have you in his life.

He has similar beliefs and values.

This one is often overlooked, but to have a partner of similar interests and values is crucial. If you are not fundamentally compatible, you will face a lot of hurdles on your way.

If you aren’t on the same page, there are times where he won’t respect where you stand and that causes a lot of problems. So look for someone with the same values and beliefs as yours.

He wants to make you happy.

Your happiness is his priority and that is a true sign of unconditional love.

He sees you as his best friend.

There is nothing more important than this one. You need to laugh and be happy together to actually know each other. Friendship is the important thing here and you need it in your relationship to make it through the rough times.

He wants the same level and type of commitment you want.

If you want a monogamous relationship and he wants the same, you’re on the same page and the relationship can go on.

But if he wants an open-sex relationship when you want to be loyal, there is nothing you can actually do to make it work.

HE WANTS TO MAKE IT WORK.

You’re both committed to making it work and showing each other that you are in love and that there is nothing that can break you.

I hope that I’ve been helpful. In the end, the most important thing here is to know how to choose properly.

Knowing whom to choose as your partner is very important and you need to commit to your choice fully—that’s why it’s important to know what you’re looking for.

Have the right kind of mindset and work on achieving everything you want in a relationship. Because that’s what you deserve. You deserve the best and you deserve to be treated with all the respect that someone can give you.

8 Effective Ways To Make Your Man Never Cheat On You

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If you were ever thinking about the reasons why men cheat, you have no need to bother your pretty, little head about it anymore. It is simple—men cheat not because they are not in love with you but because they are afraid that you won’t do the things that they would love you

to do. They need different things in bed and even if it is sweet to have some kind of sex routine that you feel best with, they are sometimes craving more.

And if you can’t provide them with what they need, they will try to find that in different places. (I know, they are pigs).

But to prevent this from happening, I am bringing you some effective ways to make your man never cheat on you. So read carefully!

1. Take initiative in bed

Men are known to be horny all the time but where is the fun in that story if they always have to initiate sex? They will think that you don’t want to have sex with them if you don’t initiate it sometimes and that you aren’t attracted to them anymore.

It will make them feel bad and they will ask themselves if they are still good enough for you and if you love them. (Yes, guys have feelings too).

2. Try new things in bed

Maybe the two of you have been in a long-term relationship and you have been practicing the same kind of sex for a long time. That could make your man fed up with everything, leaving him craving a change.

So, try to do some new things together. I am not saying that you should do things that are repulsive to you but do something that you have always been dreaming of but you were always scared to try.

3. Be yourself

Men like women who stand firmly on the ground, so don’t change because your man wants that but because you feel you are ready for a change.

If you behave like your man wants you to behave, he will think that you don’t have a lot of self-esteem and that you are weak. So, whatever you do, be yourself, even if he doesn’t like it.

4. Controlling is not an option

If you try to control your guy, he will definitely leave you. He won’t stick to a woman who wants to know his every move and what he talks about with his friends.

That is quite annoying and you can just imagine how you would feel if someone did that to you. So, give him his free time and gain trust in him. If you don’t have that, there is no sense in being together.

5. Let him use his free time the way he wants

If he wants to go to a football match with his friends, don’t tell him to stay at home with you and help you with your household chores.

Just like you, he has the right to spend his free time the way he likes, so don’t hold him back. I know that you wouldn’t like it if someone did that to you, right?

6. Be careful with your words

Women sometimes say things that they don’t mean and that they later feel bad about. So, whether you are mad at him for things he did before or is doing now, don’t show that with your words.

Don’t call him names and don’t offend him. You won’t be angry in an hour but he will never forget how you behaved.

7. Make him a priority

I know that it is very difficult to find a balance between your job, the kids, your partner and your friends and family. Sometimes it looks like a mission impossible.

But if you don’t want your man to find another woman and to cheat on you, you will need to make him a priority. Show him that he is worthy and that you feel good when you are with him. He needs to know that you still love him and that you love to be around him.

8. Show him that you are just fine on your own

If you show your man that you have your own circle of friends and that you are a totally independent woman, he will want to be with you.

He won’t take you for granted and he will think that by choosing you, he hit the jackpot.

If you show him that you will be fine whether he is there or not, he will never think about cheating on you with another woman because he will use all his energy to chase you and make you only his.