It seems like everyone is always on the hunt for their one true love. But do we really need a life partner? Or are we fine alone?
If you are asking do we really need a life partner and came here looking for a definitive yes or no answer, I am sorry to disappoint. But just like some people like pizza and other *crazy* people prefer calzones, it is your call.
Why do we think we need a life partner?
Let’s start with why you are even asking yourself this question. It is your life, you know what you need. Air, food, water, shelter, etc. But a life partner?
The reason you may be asking yourself this question is that society has insisted upon it pretty much since the beginning of time. See… Adam and Eve, Chandler and Monica, Shrek and Fiona, Ellen and Portia.
Marriage or at least a long-term commitment is still considered the norm in most societies. Settling down whether to have a family or to travel the world seems to be what everyone is striving for. And if you aren’t, your great aunt sure is striving for it for you.
And if you want marriage and commitment and a life partner, you probably already know that. If you are here, you may think that just isn’t for you, but want permission to think being alone is just fine.
Are life partners overrated?
To some people, sure. Personally, I can’t wait to settle down with a life partner in a house with a yard and a dog and a couple kids. But to each their own.
If spending the rest of your life with the same person sounds like a whole new kind of torture, don’t force that social construct on yourself. And don’t let anyone else force it on you.
Do we really need a life partner?
If you are stuck between a yes and a no, you may need the help of a pros and cons list. There are certainly benefits to both having a life partner and going life alone.
But which is more suited for you? Well, you must figure it out on your own. So, check out the benefits of having a life partner and not having one. Which sounds more appealing?
The benefits of having a life partner:
1 Having someone to depend on. We all know the relief you feel when you come home at the end of the day and vent about your boss, the traffic, or the broken coffee machine. And having someone to vent to is a whole heck of a lot nicer than posting your rant on Instagram Stories.
2 Having someone need you. Sometimes we not only want to lean on someone but want someone to lean on us. It is an indescribable feeling to know someone relies on you to listen, care, and to be there.
3 Sharing the good and the bad. We all love sharing the good. Celebrating is the easy part of life. But having someone you know will always be there even when times are hard gives you a sense of peace.
4 Never being alone. This is a little sad. And there isn’t anything wrong with being alone, except, of course, feeling lonely. Although you can feel lonely with a life partner, you also have someone to help cure that loneliness.
5 Security. Whether having someone to take care of you financially, in case something goes wrong with your health, or just to cuddle with you after a long day feeling that security is so important.
If you thrive knowing you have someone to call, having a life partner is amazing.
6 Comfort. There is something about being with someone for the foreseeable future that ignites a sense of comfort. Even if you have dated someone longer than a few months, you know that feeling.
You can stop worrying about every little thing and truly be yourself.
7 Shorthand. Okay, okay I know this isn’t a biggie, but having that routine and predictability is what a lot of people thrive on. And if you are one of those people who likes to know what is going to happen today and tomorrow, a life partner can help with that.
8 Humor. Ever cracked a joke and everyone just stared blankly at you? Well, when you have a life partner this person knows you so well that you get each other’s jokes every time.
Sharing a laugh with someone you know isn’t a giggle, it is a full knee-slapping, snorting, can’t-breathe kind of laugh.
9 Trust. Being single is nice, but without truly knowing someone that trust just can’t be there. When you share your life with someone trusting that they will come home to you, hug you, confide in you, listen to you, it is what it is all about.
10 Intimacy. The closeness of having a life partner is like nothing else. Committing yourself to someone for life gives you an intimacy that cannot be created by a fling. It isn’t about sex, passion, or urgency. It is indescribable.
The cons of having a life partner:
1 Freedom. Yes, I know it is cliche. Freedom is something some people cannot live without. And although I don’t think sharing your life with someone takes away your freedom, it does stop you from doing anything you want at any time.
And if you can’t handle that, a life partner might not be what you need.
2 Less worry. If you do not have someone to share your life with you have one less person to worry about. That could sound sad, but for those that want to focus on their happiness and their happiness alone, it can be quite an advantage.
3 Less guilt. Ever dated someone and felt guilty for canceling plans so you could stay home and watch your favorite show? Well, when you don’t have a life partner you can cancel plans, make plans, and not feel bad about it at all.
4 Less responsibility. No life partner means you are no one’s emergency contact. No one is depending on you to bring home the bacon. No one needs you to feed them or bathe them or make sure they don’t forget they have a doctor’s appointment.
You are only responsible for yourself.
5 Less hurt. This is a big one. Without taking the risk of falling in love and sharing your life with someone, you won’t get hurt. You may never have that happiness that comes with having a life partner, but you can sleep well at night knowing you are not going to be dumped or heartbroken.
6 Excitement. Yes, we all know relationships can become dull, boring, and ruts happen. Of course, you can always reignite the spark. But when you are not committed, it is always exciting.
You get to meet new people, share new experiences, and that routine that you hate will never be a problem.
7 Wildness. You can be outrageous. You can ride a motorcycle without worrying your spouse. You can go bungee jumping, take a red-eye to a random country, or hitchhike.
You can be as wild as you want without anyone to answer to and that is what some people thrive on.
8 No drama. Even the best relationships will have drama from time to time. Someone kept a secret, someone shared a secret, someone taped over the finale of The Bachelor. Well, when it is just you, you live in the peace and quiet you want with no fuss.
9 No jealousy. Again, you don’t have to worry if flirting with someone at the department store will get you into trouble. You don’t have to worry about being jealous of someone else.
Jealousy is like a poison. Although it shouldn’t have any part of a healthy relationship, we know that not all relationships are healthy.
10 Alone time. Me time is the one thing I miss when I get into a relationship. I thrive off of sitting alone, watching Netflix, eating Fritos, and eating crumbs out of my top without anyone to judge me.
Being alone gives you endless amounts of free time.
With that being said, romantic or not, we all end up having a life partner. These pros and cons are mainly to help you answer the question if you need a life partner romantically. And you very well may not. But everyone needs someone in their life. It can be your sister, pet, or best friend.
Maybe you aren’t 50/50. Maybe you don’t live together. But if you have that person you spend the holidays with, the one you call with big news, the one you go to for advice, then you do have a life partner, of sorts.
Some people crave that romantic and intimate connection forever while others prefer a life of spontaneity and newness. Both are fine! Remember that when you ask, do we really need a life partner?