Long-distance relationships rarely go smoothly. However, if your behavior shows a lack of trust, you may end up pushing your boyfriend away. In this installment, we’ll be introducing things girls do that make their boyfriends get discouraged during long-distance relationships, based on a survey of guys.
1. Suspecting him of cheating without any evidence for it
“It’s just sad finding out you’re not trusted at all,” said one guy If you suspect him of cheating for no other reason than that you’re apart, that can really hurt a guy’s feelings, and perhaps that’s understandable—it’s a natural thing to worry about. But unless there are some clear signs, like when he doesn’t answer your calls at night, confronting your boyfriend is probably not a good idea.
2. Getting mad if he doesn’t come to see you frequently
“If you really want to see him that badly, why don’t you go yourself? Making no effort on your own just isn’t right,” said one guy. Assuming that he should always come to you can make guys feel like the relationship is unfair. If you’re feeling lonely, try asking “Can I come see you?” At least being proactive about it will help him see you in a better light.
3. Imposing a rule that he has to send messages or call to report to you
“If you decide on some rule like ‘at least 3 messages per day,’ the relationship’s not any fun any more,” said one guy. If you try to control your boyfriend too much, it can make phone calls and messages seem like an obligation. If you want him to keep in touch every day, try a slightly affectionate approach like, “I’d like to hear your voice again tomorrow.”
4. Searching his room while your boyfriend is out with friends
“If he finds out you were searching around in there, that’ll be a big turnoff. He might not have any feelings for you anymore after that,” said one guy. If you let your anxiety take over and start looking for clues to see if he’s cheating, that can completely ruin your boyfriend’s enjoyment of the visit. Don’t do something like this unless you already have a strong suspicion he’s hiding something from you.
5. Crying over nothing during a phone call
“It can be nice to see how strong your feelings are once in a while, but if it’s a constant thing he’ll just be annoyed,” said one guy. If you spend all your time crying because you’re lonely, that can make guys think you’re too much trouble. Try to work through those feelings with a hobby you enjoy or make your time alone more fulfilling. That’s sure to give him a better impression of you.
6. Suddenly showing up without contacting him first
“Are you trying to surprise him? It just ends up being scary,” said one guy. If you show up unexpectedly out of nowhere, rather than being happy, he may be at a loss for how to respond. However, if it’s for a special event like a birthday or an anniversary, he’s more likely to be pleased.