Everybody makes mistakes, yours is not new, stop waking your dead past, leave it alone and move on.
The reason so many look ugly to their potential suitors is because they keep wearing the ugly, smelly clothe of their past. If you have given your life to Christ, you are super lucky! He wipes the slate clean and declares you holy so walk in the full consciousness of your righteousness and stop living in self-condemnation.
Stop seeing yourself as the greatest sinner that walked the earth! Stop telling everybody about your past! Not everyone knows your past and if they do you owe them no explanation or apology unless you offended them. Only three people should know about your past: God, so he can wash you clean and make you pure. Your consellor so they can know how to help you forget your past and help you heal and your spouse, so they can understand you, period!
See, everyone make mistakes. There is no saint anywhere. That you lost your virginity, you once worked as a stripper/ porn actor, had s*x with married men/ women, raped all your ex-girlfriends or even did abortions for so many you lost count, had s*x with kids(child molestation), your father/mother/brother/sister/aunt (incest), or even worked as prostitute does not mean you should kill yourself for God’s sake! Repent, do not go back to your vomit and start living a clean life, simple!
You owe nobody any explanation about your past. Stop telling every guy/lady how bad you were until they have shown some commitment or you trust that they are not basket mouths. We have lots of immature, lousy mouthed, gossiping singles these days who have no single control over their mouths. You can’t keep a single secret with them. They are the local CNN, battery without radio and birds without feathers! They jump to the street the moment you tell them a secret and spill out your dirty acts to every Tom, Dick and Harry.
Brace up! Embrace your future and walk in the reality of who you are in Christ. You are brand new and you should live like that. Life is complicated. We make mistakes, everyone does, small or great you will make mistakes till Jesus comes, just learn from them and move on, simple!
Christ has delivered you from the power of darkness and he has made you to sit with him in heavenly places far above sin, reproach and shame. “There is therefore now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus…” God does not condemn you, why are you condemning yourself?