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I Fear Being Heartbroken Again, That’s Why I Overthink. Please, Be Patient With Me

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overthinking

You could send me a one-word text and I’ll still overthink what’s the meaning behind it. You could tell me you love me, and I’ll still overthink what those words mean and whether they are true. You could say you miss me, but I will still have trouble believing you because more often than not, I don’t believe in myself.

Sometimes, I wish I had a superpower and be able to know what other people are thinking because this constant trying to read their minds is driving me crazy. I am not always overthinking, but it happens when I am in a relationship with someone I care about or when my closest friends and family members say something to me in a weird tone of voice and then, I can’t help but think they’re angry at me and that it’s my fault. 

If my overthinking is hurting you, I apologize. But believe me, I am not trying to cause drama and arguments. I am just protecting my heart because I’ve been hurt before and I don’t want to be hurt again.

I don’t want to be someone who turns a blind eye when their partner cheats on them. I refuse to overlook the red flags. I want to see everything and be aware of everything. I want to be prepared for anything that is headed my way.

That’s why I notice all the details. I notice all the little changes in your behavior and tone of voice, and oftentimes, instead of assuming that you had a difficult day at work, I immediately think that you are mad at me or you hide something from me.

 

This might come across as too much and you might think of me as being overly sensitive for making a big deal out of nothing. And you are right, but I can’t help it.

Because I am always on the edge. I always imagine the worst scenarios happening because I want to be prepared if something bad happens.

Even if everything is going perfectly well in my relationship, I’ll still overthink things that could go wrong. Things like “they could cheat on me,” “they could ghost me,” “they could find someone better than me…”

The thing is, when things are going well for me, I get scared of too much happiness. I get scared that I’ll lose it. That’s when I start to overthink.

So, I apologize if I am making things difficult for you.

But please know that it comes out of love. I don’t do it because I want to start a fight. I do it because I care too much about you and our relationship.

Because I am afraid that you will leave me. I am afraid that my heart will be broken again…

 

I am currently writing my first book titled “Inside The Narcissist’s Psyche: His Ability To Make Victims Stay With Him Even Though The Pain They’re Feeling Is Unbearable.” If you are interested to take a glimpse at it, follow this link and tell us whether you like the subject so that we can send you a free chapter after we publish it.

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Source: www.hartofjoyce.com
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