Relationship

I Need To Be Single Until I Get My Shit Together

If you’re in a transitional period and trying to figure shit out, it’s hard enough to focus on your own problems. Adding in another person’s whole set of issues, plus trying to be a good girlfriend, just makes life overwhelming. Since my life is currently in transition after a move and a new job, I’m in no rush to start looking for a boyfriend.

1. SOMETIMES IT’S GOOD TO BE SELFISH Being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. When you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed, it’s important to focus on yourself and what’s best for you. Putting yourself first can be incredibly healthy and help you find your way. When you’re in a relationship, there’s not as much room for being selfish. You and your guy are partners, and that often means putting the his needs before your own. I don’t have room for that in my life right now. I need to focus on myself for a while before I can have a healthy relationship later on.

2. I NEED TO SAVE MONEY Let’s face it: relationships cost money. I’m don’t want a guy to pay for absolutely everything, but I also don’t want to spend tons of hard-earned money on restaurants and movies. Plus, there are presents for birthdays and holidays to worry about. I’m not financially in a place where I can pull my own weight in a relationship. Being single for a while gives me a chance to save up for when I meet the right guy.

3. I NEED TO FOCUS ON MY JOB I’ve been between jobs for a while and finally found a new one. I want all my energy to go into succeeding at this new job, building relationships with my coworkers and superiors, and building a future for myself. While I’m trying to get used to this new company, I don’t need to be worrying about dates after work. During the first several months, I’ll be too preoccupied with work to focus on building a relationship. I want to be better at my job than at dating. Maybe after I’ve gotten into the groove of things at work, I can think about dating again.

4. I WANT TO GET IN BETTER SHAPE I admit it’s vain, but it makes a difference. Lately I’ve been pretty out of shape, and I’m actively trying to exercise and eat healthier. Once I reach a better place physically, I’ll have a lot more confidence to go out and meet someone. Confidence is sexy, and it’ll make dating more fun both for me and for whoever I’m with.

5. I’VE NEVER BEEN THIS HAPPY BEING SINGLE Whenever I’d been single before, I usually hated it. I’d look at happy couples and be filled with jealousy. I’d feel sorry for myself on Valentine’s Day and wonder what was wrong with me. Now, I’m actually kind of happy about it. As I’m trying to navigate my life, I feel totally content by myself. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. Rather than feeling like I need someone else to be complete, I feel like a whole person. This hasn’t happened before, and I’m kind of loving it.

6. I DON’T FEEL EMOTIONALLY MATURE ENOUGH I’m in my twenties, but sometimes I still feel like a teenager. The whole “adulting” thing can still feel really daunting. I’m not entirely sure I have the emotional maturity for a real relationship right now. Making the transition from college to adulthood can be a lengthy process, and I’m still in the middle of it. Plus, I tend to be attracted to older, more mature guys, and I want to match their level of maturity before I start dating them. Otherwise, it probably wouldn’t work.

7. I’M STILL NOT SURE WHAT I WANT FROM LOVE I’m really picky, but I’m also indecisive. It’s a weird, confusing combination when you’re trying to date someone. I’ve been with guys before and known something was off, but just didn’t know what. I think until I figure out what I want in a partner and from a relationship, I need to stay single. Dating me wouldn’t be fair right now, because he’d get hurt if I suddenly changed my mind about what I want.

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