Do you know that this relationship is going to be ever-lasting? In the realm of the courtship dance, there are remarkable moments that designate that now the connection is moving in the direction of marriage. Do you remember yours?
A connection is about moments and moving towards commitment involves a trail of them. When marriage vows are said at marriage, they share the ‘moments’ that they each felt that their bond grew stronger and each one’s moment that they indeed knew he/she was the one.
When you recall those memories, you witness one or more of the following, some of them are discussed here.
1. When your steps become in-sync
In the journey towards connection, there is attunement. When you start finishing each other’s ideas, think about each other’s needs and become anchors for each other, there is movement in that direction.
2. Reach for your partner before anyone else
When you notice that before anyone else you reached for your partner, you discover that your partner is your best friend. In the beginning, all relationships are obsessional and according to Dr. Helen Fisher, love is an addiction. You are the most important people to each other and sometimes the only people for a while in each other’s lives. The partners value each other—at least at the starting—to the exclusion of others, which is a sign of early couple-ship development.
When couples remove themselves, for a temporary time, from their world, it is not always a bad sign. It is soon enough that they re-enter their world a bit differently, now as a pair and not as individuals. Their shifting or relationship priorities are a sign that they are headed to spend their lives together.
3. When he/she becomes your accountability partner
As the dance continues, steps become more synchronized. In a forming relationship, partners become each other’s, accountability partners. The ‘lookout’ for each other which is a healthy and defining part of a relationship. The “GoodMorning” and “GoodNight” texts are a part of this, welcoming the day and acknowledging the separation in the early stages.
4. When you have the “us talk”
Going from the ‘I’ to the ‘we’ is significant in that it defines the space of the couple.
5. When you shut down your online dating apps
That said, shutting down your online dating and dating apps is a sign that your relationship is at least headed for monogamy, a precursor, typically, to the altar. Once those are closed the deal is done at least in the mind of one, which often leads to the others doing the same.
6. When you truly believe in each other
Probably the single most important aspect to a healthy connection is the notion that partners believe in each other.
Respect is the most important and when that develops, especially along with the other signs. It could mean that a more enduring situation is in form.
Age, attractiveness, intelligence, and success doesn’t really matter. Neither does the bedroom; as a sex-therapist, it doesn’t surprise me that these moments are rarely about sex. It’s the moments of connection that matters and more as we grow together that we need to hold onto and remember.