Marriage Is Not Just About Cex! 2
Marriage Is Participation & Togetherness!
Let’s take two topics together again today.
I have seen several kinds of marriages and homes. God save our homes! People are experiencing terrible marriages oh God.
Imagine a lady go to work because he’s a banker and the husband is a lecturer. And because she has a banking job who no one has ever had? She left her sick baby with her hubby, no single call to encourage the man? Why? And yet, she still came back to boss the man asking why she can’t get any meal left? What a marriage partner.?
Your absence from home does not mean you can’t participate in the home running. If you want a good marriage, then you must be ready to participate in all things. She is cooking and you sit watching news through out the week? Oh No! Checking on her one or two times while cooking saying ‘well done’ is not bad!
Young couples, when your wife is changing diaper mix the baby’s meal. It’s nothing! It enhance your togetherness and love. And ladies, when you see a man like that, honour him! Don’t take this for granted. Respect him more. Know that some men can’t do this.
A young married man seek my counsel, he said that he was a house help as a teenager before God lifted him up, and he was able to be a graduate before he met her wife who he loves so much. But not that she enforce him to do house chores, but because of his love for her and how he is so used to house chores, there is no work he does not do for her.
But then, she put to bed after one year of their marriage, and so he decided to do every thing at home so she can rest. But to his dismay, when he rush any time to the office almost late trying to wash the dishes, he will meet all the dishes unwashed and no food. This has continued in his marriage, and he is not happy about this. Women can you see? “He that has head has no cap”
Some men will even give a helping hand in the kitchen. Even if you can’t help out, don’t abuse your woman. Don’t shout on her that food is not ready. Your kind words when she’s giving her best is participation. You give all the money, we know sir. Those efforts sometimes worth more.
Some women and men does not participate at all in their marriage. You will wonder why they marry. They want to still behave like a single woman or man. They do all things separately. I don’t understand!
He has a car? Yet he can’t drop off the kids at school, just every thing is on the woman just because he pays school fees? She will do school run while your car sit doing nothing, she rush to pay this and that bills, rush to market, rush to do laundry, rush and rush around and become so old for you to notice.
Even the children use to feel such parents. Parent meeting, you don’t see it important? “Open day” it’s not your business. Her family is having a ceremony, you are always busy. What of church, “just go! I will attend second service!” Says the husband. Unmarried sisters at church thought he’s not married! Change! She goes about like a single lady solving her problems all alone. And yet you stay in same house, same town. Not because you have a busy work schedule.
Men and Women! A good marriage is one where both of you are participating and none of you is weigh down. Some women too can’t spend a kobo for the family without writing it down and collecting it back from their husband. She will say, “my dad took care of every thing we ever need. Why can’t he provide for all?” But she has money to buy all “aso ebi” that comes her way?
Mummy! emotional stress can make your husband old quickly! Help him. The little you can give is OK! Do something. Participate in your family expenses. You have a good job even better than his? once in a while pay school fees, give him some money to add to food stuffs. Don’t allow him crack his brain all alone. That job was given to you by God to help your family. Don’t boss him because you have a better job or because he is out of job. Spend for him in humility. And men, if you found such lady, don’t ever take her for granted. Remember! Not all women can spend like that!
Marriage is togetherness! If you don’t like doing things together, don’t marry! Why suffer your spouse.
A woman said, when he showed up at the school the teachers ask if her daughter has a dad! They were akl amazed! They stay in same town, same house, but no one had ever seen her with a man. Just her and the kids everyday. They don’t do anything together and there is no single disagreement. The only time he needs her, is when he wants to have sex. Why? Marriage is not just about sex!
Be together! Do things together! Pray together, bath together, eat together, play together, have outing together, shop together. I don’t know what we don’t do together in my marriage. We go to market together! And sometimes when I go alone, market woman even those I don’t recognise will greet me and say “daddy nko” meaning where is Daddy?
Marriage is usually beautiful when you do things together. That is why you are two. A lot of people get so bored during old age because of lack of togetherness in their marriage. When the children leaves. It’s like the house is empty. They feel so lonely. Most especially women. Because they didn’t built togetherness with their spouses. Husbands allow your wife please. Most want to do, but their husbands won’t allow! Please build togetherness. Enjoy your spouse’s company. Don’t enjoy the children company more than your spouse. Stay together!
For some, they don’t have interest in what their spouses create pleasure in. This is wrong. If you have such! You can’t enjoy the company of your spouse. Most importantly women. We shall be learning more of this under marriage is fun!
Watch out!
May God keep you together in Jesus name.
