Some things in the world are so intense that missing someone who means a lot to you. That someone could be your ex or someone you’ve never been with.
It is true that you may miss someone you have never dated because you made a strong mental connection with them and they were a part of your life for a while.
Unrequited love comes in so many different forms, and each one is equally painful.
Such love forces you to ask yourself the following questions: will I stop missing them? How should I stop thinking about them? How long will this agony last?
Many poets, writers and other artists have tried to answer these questions through their poems, their books and their various works of art. They weren’t really trying to answer them, but they had this strong urge to speak out.
They weren’t trying to stop missing someone, they were trying to stop the pain of someone missing, which is exactly what you need to do too!
No matter how hard you try, you can’t stop missing someone in a night
No, there are no quick fixes that will help you never miss someone in record time. Not a single guide on earth can help you stop missing this person overnight or in a short time.
You can try the weirdest methods like convincing yourself that you don’t miss them and never even cared about them in the first place.
You can try it for a few minutes, hours, or a day, but eventually you will return to your original state of mind where you still miss them A LOT.
If the person you’re trying to forget is your ex, every romantic couple or movie on the street will remind you.
You will be tempted to reread all of your texts, and you will analyze and overanalyze things.
Sometimes you yourself will cry to fall asleep and consider texting them and convincing them that maybe you should give your failed romance another chance.
You will know how to compose them to confess your deepest feelings which are suffocating you every second and every minute of your life of trying to stop someone who is missing.
The next day you will realize that you made a mistake and should not have contacted them. You promise yourself that you will never do it again and that YOU will stop missing them.
But did you know that all of these things are part of your healing journey?
If you want to stop missing someone, you need to go through the following steps first:
At this point, you’ll pretend it’s okay or the change isn’t happening. You will strive to convince yourself that your life is still the same with or without them.
You will try to hide all these emotions which are sure to flare up in the next step.
You will be angry with them, yourself and everyone around you. Your boss will be the worst person in the world, your friends will become bad guys, and the one you try to forget will be the biggest source of your misery.
In everything around you, you will only see negative aspects.
You will even start arguing with others just to express yourself and get rid of the emotions that have built up in you due to the lack of someone you cannot be with.
• Negotiation (And if step)
At this point, you will feel extremely vulnerable and helpless. You will think of so many scenarios where you will blame yourself and external factors for the outcome.
If you were in a relationship with them, you might think, if only I had tried harder, maybe they would have stayed.
If you’ve never even been with them, you might think, if only I had made contacts more often, maybe we would have gone on a date, and things would have been different.
If only, and if …
From the rest of the world, you can isolate yourself. You may feel confused, anxious, enraged …
At some point, you will feel worthless without them, or you will see them as a missing piece in your life that no one can replace in the future.
If you miss them even though you’ve never been together, you will also go through stages of depression, but in a different way.
Most of all you’ll blame yourself for not trying harder to overcome all the obstacles between you or not letting them know how you feel about them.
From refusal to bargaining, you will arrive at acceptance which is not necessarily a positive step. You can accept something that has happened without moving on.
As said before, you can’t stop missing someone overnight because it’s a process. After accepting it, you will be forgetting about them.
Give yourself time
If you miss them and know you shouldn’t, don’t worry and be so hard on yourself. Give yourself time to come to terms with what has happened (or has not happened).
At the risk of sounding like the biggest cliché of all time, the truth is, time heals everything.
When I think about my last failed romance, I vividly remember after the breakup how broken I felt. I thought I would probably be the only person in the world who didn’t go on with their life, not even 10 years after I broke up.
I have found that this is what everyone thinks of when they miss someone they no longer have or can’t be with.
The only thing we can focus on is that intense feeling of something missing or something that was never there but should have been.
You might feel like no one understands how you feel, but I assure you time does. Give yourself time and let everything happen at its natural pace.