The first thing I think when I see a guy come up to me at the gym is CREEP! So this is how to approach a girl at the gym, without being creepy.
Meeting women is not always easy. If dating apps aren’t for you and bars are not your scene, it can be hard. Walking up to someone on the street just doesn’t happen today and dating at work comes with drama. So one of the last places to meet someone is the gym, yet that isn’t always easy either. But that’s why you’re here, to know how to approach a girl at the gym.
People, especially women, go to the gym to exercise, not meet men. We want to relax, zone out, and get fit. The last thing most women want while working out is for the guy who has ogled our ass for the last hour to hit on us.
But don’t let that deter you just yet. The reason most women hate this is because most guys are in fact creeps. So as long as you aren’t one, you are already one step above the rest.
How to approach a girl at the gym politely
Being polite and respectful should be your main priorities here. You might fear getting put in the friend zone *which, shocker, doesn’t actually exist* but taking your time and being respectful to a woman while she may be in a vulnerable position is your best bet.
The second we feel that we are being hit on, the earbuds go in and our eyes begin to roll. Approach with caution and wipe away any drool before getting too close.
Why women don’t like being approached at the gym
Not only are we likely sweaty and totally focused on our workout, but we are most likely being hit on for our bodies. It is not often a man approaches you at the gym for your amazing personality. So it can feel pretty shallow and a little intimidating.
Women are catcalled everyday. It is a very uncomfortable feeling, so being hit on at the gym is a more up close and personal version of that. If you are thinking of approaching a woman at the gym, don’t think of it as hitting on her. Think of it as meeting someone new.
How to approach a girl at the gym – 15 ways to do it right
First things first, boost your confidence. Give yourself a pep talk or ask a friend for an honest compliment. If you go in feeling nervous or hesitant, that will come off immediately. At the same time avoid being cocky or full of yourself. Yes, women at the gym are used to the conceited types… shocker.
#1 Don’t stare. Not at her and not at her reflection. When a woman is working out, she can practically feel all the eyes on her. As a woman myself, working out requires minimal clothing so you don’t sweat to death. And apparently wearing leggings and a tank top gives men a free ticket to ogling/drooling city.
You can glance her way and make eye contact, but try not to stare because she will notice and that is the first sign of a creep.
#2 Wait for her to be available. If she is in the middle of lifting weights or focusing on a workout, don’t interrupt her. Let her do what she came to the gym for. Your opening is when she takes a break and goes to get water.
If you want her focus, don’t rip it away from why she is there. Let your approach flow naturally. If you just step up to her while she is running on the treadmill she will be more annoyed than intrigued. But if you offer to buy her a water bottle, a smoothie, or even to grab a salad on the way out, she will be more open to it.
#3 Read her body language. If she is glancing around at everyone and seems to be open to small talk with other gym goers or even the employees, you probably have a better chance than with a girl who keeps her headphones in and is purely focused on her workout.
Tapping a girl on the shoulder to get her attention when she is clearly not there to meet anyone will not go well. But introducing yourself to someone that is friendly and open to chatting, that will go better.
#4 Take a hint. Sorry to be harsh, but seriously. If you made your move and she wasn’t interested, just walk away. Okay, yeah, maybe she was having a rough day. So in that case leave her be and maybe give her a wave and a “how are you” next week.
Otherwise accept her rejection or disinterest with class. Being annoyed that she is there to go to the gym and not to meet you is super unattractive to any other girl you might be interested in. Not to mention it is immature and sort of sexist.
#5 Avoid pick up lines. You are approaching a woman at the gym. A pick up line is the last thing she wants to hear. Even if she is open to a spontaneous hook up, a pick up line will be cheesy, unoriginal, and just unimpressive.
We should be able to tell that you are interested in us, at least remotely. And we should not be thinking that you have already used this line on three other innocent girls today.
#6 Be honest. If you know she caught you staring, own up to it. Say “sorry I was staring, I couldn’t help it.” Yes, it might be embarrassing, but we would rather hear that than you try to make up a lie or give us a line.
Let her know you have noticed her over the last few days or weeks and have been trying to work up the courage to introduce yourself. Women respect honesty, it is refreshing. And you are more likely to get a positive outcome.
#7 Compliment her. If you’re wondering how to approach a girl at the gym, use a compliment. And not on her body. Yes, it might seem like the gym would be a great place to tell someone they have a great figure, but coming from a sweaty guy it can come off creepy.
Instead say something like, “Wow I’ve noticed you’ve been here everyday this week. That takes real commitment, props to you.” She will appreciate that much more. Her dedication is what gave her the body she has and that is what is impressive.
#8 Make it quick. Even if you’re hitting it off, you both came to the gym for one reason, to exercise. So get back to that. If things are going well, ask for her number or give her yours and see where it goes from there. You don’t want to push it.
If you really want to make a plan, ask her to meet up when you’re both done with your workout to get a smoothie down the street. Keep it light and casual. [Read: 25 ways to start a conversation with a girl and make sparks]
#9 Focus on your workout. Okay, maybe you are racking your brain thinking about how to approach a girl at the gym or wondering what to say to her. But you are not at the gym to hit on women. Try to take some time to focus on getting your heart rate up.
And the gym is the perfect place to work off those nerves with some cardio. And if you stop dwelling on how not to embarrass yourself in front of her, who knows? She may approach you.
#10 Make eye contact. You may not want to approach a girl at the gym that you have never seen before. But if you have made eye contact or recognized each other on multiple occasions, she will likely be more open to an interaction.
Talking to a male stranger can be creepy for a woman. So the more she sees you, the less creepy you become. If she knows you are a regular, Chad at the front desk knows you, and you’ve held the door open for her, she will be more accepting.
#11 Offer her a hand. I’m not the most intense gym goer so I don’t know all the lingo, but help her out if she needs it. And only if she needs it. If someone left a weight she wants on the floor instead of putting it away properly, help her clean up the area if she is struggling.
If she needs someone to spot her, volunteer. Just don’t use it as an excuse to stare, finish what you’re helping her with, and then you can introduce yourself and start a chat.
#12 Be funny. This goes for any guy wanting to approach a girl anywhere. But especially at the gym. You might think your abs or your muscles will just wow her to pieces. But look around. Every guy there is probably in just as amazing shape as you are.
That means you’ll have to depend on your other qualities to catch her attention. And humor is one of the best.
#13 Don’t mansplain. Based on old movies, men might think teaching a woman something is sweet and shows he is smart and patient, but nowadays that is called mansplaining. Do not tell her how to fix her form or to focus on legs.
A woman hates nothing more than a man trying to tell her what to do, especially when he thinks he knows better. Even if you have the best intentions and truly think you are right, she does not want to hear it.
#14 Smell good. Women love a man that smells good. No kidding. And yes, at the gym no one smells like a field of flowers, but if when you approach her she suddenly smells intense B.O. that is a real turn off. Be sure you loaded up on the deodorant and maybe even spray a spritz of cologne on your t-shirt.
Just don’t overdo it. You are not a teenage boy going through puberty and bathing in Axe. So a spray or two is plenty. [Read: How to smell good and attract almost anyone you desire]
#15 Remember you didn’t miss your chance. This is the gym, not a red eye from NY to LA. You will probably see her at the gym again next week. Whether she ignored you, didn’t hear you, or rejected you, you have time to build up your game.
Yes, sometimes things just don’t work out. If she says no, let it go. But if you chickened out, relax. Now you have more time to prepare.
Hopefully now you know how to approach a girl at the gym without being creepy. Instead you can do it with grace, charm, and respect.