Toyin Abraham was born in Auchi, a town in Edo State in southern Nigeria, but spent her early life in Ibadan, the capital of Oyo State in southwestern Nigeria.

She attended St Anne’s School Ibadan for her secondary school education education She went to Osun State Polytechnic Iree;

from 2005-2007, where she had her Pre- National Diploma, and Ordinary National Diploma. She obtained a Higher National Diploma Certificate in Marketing from Ibadan Polytechnic.

Toyin Abraham has starred in many movies and recently starred in a movie called Black Val.

The popular Nigeria Actress won a Award at the Heritage Awards 2020

Sharing the post on her Instagram page the Actress wrote;

Thanks @heritageawards 

TOYINTITANS thanks 

 

See the post below;

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by TOYIN ABRAHAM. A.🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊 (@toyin_abraham)

Former aviation minister of Nigeria, Femi Fani-Kayode has been dragged to filth on Twitter after sharing a photo with a stunning woman.

The lawyer who has been married more than once and out of marriages a few times, his recent was with Precious Chikwendu is accused of being a flirt.

Femi Fani-Kayode recently shared a photo of himself with one Hon. Nkeiruka Onyejeocha at a senator’s wedding in Abuja which triggered reactions on the microblogging platform.

Sharing the photo, he wrote;

“At Senator Nenadi Usman’s daughters wedding in Abuja yesterday with the stunningly beautiful Hon. Nkeiruka Onyejeocha. A great occassion!”

Twitter users accused Fani of being a womanizer and cannot help the urge to take his eyes off a beautiful woman.

One @innocentname wrote;
Stunningly beautiful,? Better go and take your medicine. Na juju dem do you? You no dey take eye see breaching cream at all.

See more reactions below …

No less than 6 persons have reportedly died in a fatal accident along the Enugu-Onitsha expressway at Nkwelle Ezunaka, Oyi Local Government Area of Anambra State.

11 persons also sustained varying degrees of injury in the crash which involved two vehicles; a white commercial bus and an unregistered shuttle bus.

Public Education Officer, Federal Road Safety Corps in Anambra State, RC Kamal Musa who disclosed the news of the accident said it happened after 5pm on Sunday.

“Six people were killed and 11 injured in a fatal crash involving a mini white bus belonging to CDO transport Company with registration number BGT 313 XA and a white truck without a registration number.

“Accident was recorded at 1710hrs this evening 22nd November 2020 at Nkwelle Junction along Nteje – Onitsha expressway.

“Eyewitness report reaching us indicates that the crash occurred as a result of excessive speeding leading to loss of control of the bus and crashing eventually.

“A total of 17 people; 11 male adults and six female adults were involved in the Crash. 11 male adults who sustained varying degree of injuries were rushed to Iyi – Enu Hospital, Ogidi by FRSC rescue team from Nteje Unit Command.”

He added that corpses of the six persons who were killed in the accident have been deposited in a Mogue after Doctor’s confirmation.

Filled with emotional appreciation for getting a second chance to reunite with his family, popular actor,Bolanle Ninalowo is giving his wife accolades for taking him back when he least expected it.

“I am blessed and don’t forget that it’s a privilege to have what I have. Our love story is not that of a rich man that met a beautiful girl. We have been together for 16 years and have come a long way. We have been through so much. I had always imagined being successful in the entertainment industry and having a beautiful wife by my side, ” he told Saturday Beats.

He added, “She is quite an introvert. We are practically two opposite people that complement one another well. Before I became a celebrity, I used to show off my wife. She looks like my mother and I had always prayed to marry a woman that looks like her. I admire my wife and I’m obsessed with her. I have messed up so much in the past and I figured I could rewrite my own story. I am fortunate to have got a second chance, so I am just living my dreams. I am not living to impress anybody.”

Nollywood actor, Wale Akorede, well known as Okunnu, is a producer, film maker, brand ambassador etc. He is best known in film for his comic roles. He knows very well how to interpret any comic role that he’s been given and he is loved by the industry and fans.

Okunnu was a business man before his friend and colleague, Muyiwa Ademola introduced him to acting and he has been successful there.

Okunnu congratulated his beautiful daughter, Ayomide who just graduated from high school and off to college via his Instagram.

Sharing photos of her, the comic actor wrote;

”Congratulations on the successful completion of another phase in your life @real_jumkie So proud of you my darling daughter 😍 Off to college🤩 Brilliant like me 😁 . . . Wish her well for me! 🙏🏾”

Popular actor, Muyiwa Ademola took to the comment section of the post to congratulate the girl.

”Congratulations darling. May The Almighty go before you as you take the next phase. Keep growing dear.” he wrote.

Checkout more beautiful photos of his daughter below;

Popular Nollywood actress, Toyin Abraham has shared a beautiful picture of her husband , Kola Ajeyemi and son on her Instagram page. In the picture, her husband and son who is growing very fast, were seen rocking a matching outfit .

Both men wore a blue pair of Jean and a white top. Toyin’s son, Ire, spiced up his outfit by using a suspender, and wearing a white and blue shoe.

Toyin who has refused to show her baby’s face on social media took a picture of his back view instead.

See picture below;

7 Lessons We Learn From Peter Walking on Water

“And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”

So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”

And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.” (Matthew 14:28-33)

The story of Jesus walking on water appears in three of the four gospels (Matthew, Mark, John). But, only in Matthew do we also learn that Peter also walked on water!

How crazy must that have been to witness?

Here are 7 Lessons We Learn From Peter Walking on Water:

1. Don’t take your eyes off Jesus.

Although a storm surrounded Him, Peter looked to Jesus. The only problem was that he stopped looking at Jesus.

The principle is clear: especially when life is a tumultuous storm, look for Jesusand keep looking to Jesus.

Can you honestly say that your eyes are fixed on Jesus?

2. When Jesus commands you, obey Him.

Jesus told Peter to “come” to Him on the water. Even though it made no sense, Peter did what Jesus said. This is what obedience looks like–doing what Jesus says.

Is there any area in your life that you are not obeying the Lord?

3. Faith is simply taking the next step.

Peter took one step to get out of the boat and onto the water. Peter was doing just fine when he was focused on the next step, and got into trouble when he lost sight of his next step.

What next step has Jesus asked you to take?

4. Faith unleashes the supernatural.

Peter did not experience the supernatural power of God that allowed him to walk on water until he trusted as evidenced by his actions.

When we have faith, we can expect God to do what man cannot.

Is there anything you need to be doing differently in faith?

5. Fear will sink you.

When Peter had faith, he walked on water. When he had fear, he sank in the water. The same is true for you. Fear will sink you.

Is fear gripping and controlling your decision making?

6. A little faith is better than no faith.

Jesus spoke of Peter’s “little faith”. This means that he was capable of even greater sustained faith. But, the guys in the boat apparently had no faith.

Are you acting out of faith or fear?

7. Jesus saves you from many things.

Jesus not only saved Peter from hell, but on this occasion Jesus saved Peter from drowning even though he acted out of fear and doubted Him.

What things has Jesus saved you from?

As you make your way through life, you are going to encounter a lot of different kinds of people. There are going to be some individuals who will cause you pain and make you cry. You’re going to meet people who will make you so happy that you would be smiling from ear to ear whenever the two of you are together. There are going to be sure people who will make you laugh until your insides split. But even though you meet so many different kinds of people, you would rarely find someone who truly understands you.

As human beings, we all have this innate feeling to be accepted and desired by the people around us. We always want to be loved and adored. It’s as if we have this natural desire just to gain the good favor of the people we meet every day. But on a more fundamental level, we are always looking to be understood. We still want to make sure that people get why we exist and why we do what we do. Somehow, feeling understood almost feels like your existence is being validated. And feeling appreciated is a huge aspect of being loved by someone.

Most of the people that you’re going to encounter in your everyday life aren’t going to understand just what it is you’re looking for. A lot of the individuals that you consistently interact with aren’t going to get what you want out of life and what inspires you. Very few people are going to truly empathize with you whenever you’re going through the struggles and trials that you go through. The person who best understands you is going to be yourself. And it can feel lonely and overwhelming for a lot of people.

To make matters worse, a lot of people that you’re going to meet might even tell you that certain aspects of your life need to change. A lot of people are going to make you feel bad for liking a particular thing or being a certain way. You’re going to encounter plenty of individuals who will criticize and make fun of you. There are plenty of people who are looking to bring you down even though you only have the best and purest intentions. That’s just a fact of life. In your world wherein you are the protagonist, you are going to have specific antagonists who will look to contradict your every move.

And sometimes, it can get exhausting having to deal with these people. You know that you can’t just act on your own accord without regard for those around you. You understand that you have an individual responsibility to society. For you to be a functional member of the world, you need to adhere to certain social norms and expectations. That’s why you long for acceptance. You want to be liked because you think that the more people who are on your side, the better. You don’t want to be looking back on your life and see what you’ve been alone every step of the way. However, it can also be tiring having to subject yourself to the standards and expectations of other people.

This is where falling in love comes in. Because once you find that one particular person who is going to be able to bring a sense of joy, happiness, fulfillment, and excitement into your life on a level that no one else can, it’s going to be different. Sure, you might be having a hard time having to subject yourself to the corrupt and negative energy of others. You might be feeling overwhelmed. But with the person you love, you should always feel welcome to be your true and authentic self.

Moreover, you are always made to feel like you can be your “weird” and “off-putting” self because you know that you are never going to be judged. In love, there is no judgment. In love, there is no harsh criticism. There is always going to be understanding and patience.

When you fall in love with someone, you don’t have to put on a mask. You don’t have to hide behind any curtains or facades. You aren’t afraid of being judged or being called weird. When you fall in love, you know that there is someone who is always going to make you feel accepted no matter what you do or what you say. When you have someone who loves you, it’s going to be like nothing else you could have ever imagined. It will be like having an extended version of yourself just giving you the affirmation and validation that you crave from everyone else. Somehow, being in love makes your existence feel more valid.

There is always this stigma that is commonly attached to introverted people who like to keep to themselves a lot. It’s unfair the amount of flak that they get for merely choosing to want to be themselves. That’s why they are the kinds of people who are often misunderstood by those that are around them. However, they are too afraid to speak out for themselves. An introverted person wouldn’t necessarily speak up about why they are the way that they are.

That is why if you happen to be close to an introverted person, then you need to be more sensitive with how you handle them. You have to let them know that you aren’t just going to brush them off for feeling or acting a certain way. After all, they are human beings, too, and their opinions are only as valid as anyone else’s.

If you’re still having trouble trying to understand how introverted people think, then this article is definitely for you. Here are a few facts about introverts that you might not realize just yet. However, maybe you should take the time to get to know them better:

1. They see a rainy day at home as perfection.

A lot of people would be bummed at the idea of a rainy day. Plans become canceled or compromised because of rain. But the introvert would love just spending the entire day at home with rain. They might listen to music or read a book with the rain serving as beautiful ambient noise for them in the background.

2. They need time to be alone even if they’re in a relationship.

It doesn’t matter whether they are in an intimate relationship with someone or not; they are still going to want to make sure that they always get their alone time. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love the time they spend with their partner. However, they still really value the time that they spend alone.

3. They might take a rain check for no real reason at all.

When you decide to ask them out, there is a chance that they’re going to take a rain check on you for no apparent reason at all. You shouldn’t take this personally. It’s not that they won’t enjoy spending time with you. They appreciate your company. However, there will be times wherein they will want to be on their own.

4. They see days alone as an opportunity to recharge.

They always like to take advantage of the days that they can get to be on their own. These kinds of people capitalize on these days as a way to recharge their batteries. After all, being around other people can be draining and exhausting for them.

5. They don’t like going on big group trips.

When it comes to vacations and trips, they would much instead explore new places on their own. At most, perhaps they would enjoy being with a significant other. But they wouldn’t be too fond of big group trips wherein they are always surrounded by a lot of people for prolonged periods.

6. They secretly get happy when someone cancels plans.

They secretly relish it whenever someone happens to cancel plans on them. They would much rather stay home a lot. A lot of the time, they feel obligated to go out with their friends and loved ones. That’s why they agree to go out in the first place. But when they get canceled on, it’s almost as if it’s heaven-sent.

7. They would prefer to read a book or watch a movie than go out drinking.

They don’t consider a big night out at the club to be fun or exciting. As much as possible, they would much rather stay at home to read a book or watch a movie.

8. They dread small talk.

They aren’t going to be fond of small talk. That’s why they hate being left in situations wherein they are forced to interact with people they don’t have any real connections with. After all, they are people who only like to engage with people profoundly and substantially.

9. They want to observe other peoples’ behavior.

They thoroughly enjoy observing other people. And they aren’t necessarily judgmental. However, they do enjoy just sitting down and watching people go by. They are genuinely interested in the lives and stories that other people have.

10. They listen more than they talk.

If they aren’t responding to you in conversations, it doesn’t mean that they’re disengaged. They happen to be people who enjoy listening as much as they do talking. They can be quiet a lot. However, that shouldn’t be taken to mean that they’re not interested in whatever you might have to say.

Spending time alone and enjoying quality “me” time is also important, but if you’re feeling sick of being alone, down, and particularly isolated from others, here are seven things you can do to help you deal with loneliness and feel more connected with the people around you.

1. Invite Friends Over For No Reason

Just because you’re living alone and your apartment may be a little cramped doesn’t mean you can’t invite people over. Don’t assume that no one wants to come over to spend time with you. You’d be surprised by how many people also feel lonely and may jump at the invitation. Even if there isn’t a special occasion, offer to host a girl’s Netflix binge night, play some video games together, a spa night, or even a girly sleepover (you’re never too old to have sleepovers). Even throw a party for no reason at all.

Don’t feel equipped to host get-togethers? Buy more chairs and tableware so you’ll feel more motivated and prepared to have friends over.

2. Say Yes More Often

Just as it’s a great idea to invite friends over to your place, it’s also helpful for you to say yes to more invitations. It can become a habit for you to shut down and stay in, but make sure to stick your neck out and say yes to an invitation even if you’re not sure you’ll enjoy yourself. Did an acquaintance invite you over for a birthday party, baby shower, wedding, or an after-work dinner? Say yes even though you may not know anyone else there. Take it as an opportunity to make new connections. Who knows what kind of people you may meet?

The more often you socialize, the easier it’ll get, just as the more you stay shut in by yourself, the harder it’ll get to break out of that bubble of isolation.

3. Social Media Will Not Help

Scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or any other social media posts can make you feel connected to your social media friends, but that’s very temporary relief. Social media is not enough to help you cope with loneliness and can make you feel even more isolated after logging off, which can cause an unhealthy dependence on social media or your mobile devices.

Remember that the key to curing isolation and loneliness is to make real connections. Yes, real connections are harder to make and maintain, but they can never be replaced. There’s nothing better than to laugh, hug, and spend quality time with someone you care about.

4. Connect in Person

It’s fine to text, Facetime, or Skype when you’re busy, but don’t forget to make time to physically meet up at every opportunity. If most of your friends live in different parts of the world, make an effort to find new friends who live in the same city or get to know your colleagues better after work. And just because you’ve moved out of the family home doesn’t mean you can’t rely on your family anymore. Take this opportunity to strengthen or rebuild your relationships with family members.

Reaching out to others who may need a shoulder to lean on can also help you overcome loneliness. Helping others will allow you to turn the focus away from yourself and onto somebody else. The fulfillment and subsequent connection you’ll create with the person you’re helping will ground you and bring you out of your shell.

5. Yes, You Can Eat Out Alone

It can feel awkward the first few times you go out to eat by yourself, but staying in every day just because you don’t have anyone to eat with should never be an excuse. Found a new restaurant you’re dying to try out? Do it. Have a favorite place you love eating at but haven’t been able to find anyone to go with lately? Go anyway.

Bring a book with you if you feel awkward eating alone in a public place, but don’t forget that it’s perfectly okay to make eye contact and small talk. Especially if you keep going back to your favorite coffee shop, the staff may start to recognize you, and you may also recognize some familiar faces. Soon enough, that familiarity may grow into new connections and even friendships.

6. Get Out of the House

Chronic loneliness can often come hand in hand with depression and can sap your motivation to do anything other than binge watch Netflix all day. There’s nothing wrong with binge-watching Netflix, but spending too much time alone in your apartment is unhealthy and will do nothing but make your loneliness worse. Get out. Take a stroll around the neighborhood. Visit your local coffee shop. Just being around other people, even if you don’t get to talk to them, will help you feel better and less isolated.

7. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Professional Help

Sometimes, loneliness may not be something that’s easily solved by a night out with friends. There may be deeper issues that could be causing your deep feelings of isolation and disconnection. Perhaps you may be struggling with social anxiety or some other issue that’s preventing you from reaching out to others. So if you feel like you can’t deal with your loneliness by yourself, don’t be afraid to seek professional help.

Therapists can help talk you through your fear and anxiety and can help you manage your expectations when you begin to take steps out of your comfort zone. There is no shame in getting professional help. You have the right to do everything in your power to get healthier, feel happier, and to live the life you want – single or not.

Amy Speace had been touring for 20 years—and then she got pregnant at 50, which only elevated her abilities as a performer.

Courtesy of Amy Speace

“Roll with it,” my manager said to me about an upcoming album release week, when I groaned at the hectic schedule ahead of me. I sighed and said, “Yeah, I’m learning. I’ve got this. I think.” Because maybe I do “got this.” And that’s only because I know, also, that I don’t. And knowing that I don’t and that that’s OK is maybe the greatest gift of where I am now.

Last year on my 50th birthday, I was surrounded by my closest friends playing Cards Against Humanity. I was also nine months pregnant, which, if you’d told me 10 years ago that’s how I’d be celebrating turning 50, I’d have snorted wine out of my nose. You see, kids were never part of the plan. I mean, I loved kids. Other people’s kids. But I had Great Things To Accomplish and that always was my priority. That is to say, I was always my first priority.

A career in the performing arts demands a healthy bit of narcissism and ambition. I am a singer, songwriter, producer and teacher. You might not have heard of me; I’m not widely famous. But I make a good living. I play to thousands one night and to a handful the following. I live in Nashville, which is a working town for those of us who have had no choice in the matter of dream following. This is more than a career for me. It’s a spiritual path. A mission. Music and stories breathe through me and I have followed the wild winds of this calling since the first song spilled out of me and onto a guitar in my late twenties.

I’ve led a peripatetic life, touring over 120 dates a year over the course of the last 20. Sacrificing friendships, a marriage, and, so I thought, having a baby. It was a willing trade, as I was ambitious and single-minded. It all looked good from the outside: I’d been signed to labels, had a management team, received great press and was a success by many standards. But I was increasingly alone and miserable.

After hitting a quiet bottom, a series of events occurred that I’ve come to think of as a spiritual awakening, permanently altering my relationship to my career. I moved from New York City to Nashville, leaving my marriage. I got uncomfortably honest and comfortable being alone. I got sober. I discovered meditation. I got a dog. I cleaned up my debt. I let go of some toxic business relationships. Then, when I was 47, I met a beautiful, also sober man, and fell in love in a deliberately slow manner so that when we married in a small ceremony on the banks of the Tennessee River, I was able to say my vows without hesitation. Within a year, the opportunity came to us to try IVF with an egg donor, and so, at the age of 49, a five-day blastocyte, made of a combination of my husband and Donor 133 from East Tennessee, who played the fiddle and loved Jesus, was placed into my womb.

And then, I made a record that was purely for me. I let go of the need for my art to be valued by the industry, and made a very honest, spare record in the days before he was born, and then let it gestate. I got off the road and slowed down, learning to be a mother. And, knowing this industry is fickle and forgetful and that I was perhaps sacrificing everything, I chose family.

Fast forward: my son is a toddler and I’m on the verge of diving back into it all with a new record and a tour that will take me across the U.S. to the UK and Europe. But my relationship to my career has changed.

I’ve learned the journey is more interesting than the destination. I’ve learned that there’s no “there” there. I have a good friend who reminds me to “stay out of the results.” I’ve learned I can write anywhere, even with my baby balanced on one hip, during naptime, at 6 a.m. before he wakes, in my head while rocking him to sleep. My career has not suffered and, in fact, I think it’s grown in the letting go. With less time to stress and look at what I haven’t accomplished, I’m able to be really present for what I have and to show up with extreme gratitude to the work. It’s a daily practice and when I get hooked on fear, my son’s face lights up with wonder and I’m reminded why I write songs in the first place. His cry turns into sunbursting laughter within seconds and I realize, my son is teaching me the most important lesson: “roll with it.”

A modern folksinger whose music nods to the genre’s 1970s glory days, Amy Speace has spent two decades chronicling the high marks and heartbreaks of a life logged on the road. Along the way, she’s built an international audience without the help of a major label, relying instead upon a touring schedule whose milestones include the Glastonbury Festival, NPR’s Mountain Stage, and a yearly average of 150 shows.

The Bible teaches us that genuine faith is “more precious than gold that perishes” (1 Peter 1:7). Indeed such faith is going to be “tested by fire”. You can expect difficulties and persecutions in your life of faith, as well as blessings. Therefore to encourage you to hold onto and develop your faith, we will consider some of the benefits of faith.

1. Faith brings salvation (Ephesians 2:8,9): Whosoever believes in Him has eternal life. (John 3:16), and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. (John 5:24). The just shall live by faith. (Romans 1:17)

2. Faith brings answers to prayer: “And whatever things you ask in prayer, really believing, you will receive.” (Matthew 21:22). Since God tells us to pray for our daily bread (Matthew 6:11), faith is therefore a key to our material provision.

3. Faith brings all the benefits of salvation into our lives (Ephesians 2:8,9): This includes healing, prosperity, peace, love, joy (1 Peter 1:8), deliverance from demons and the curse, sanctification of the mind and emotions (the salvation of the soul) and any other benefit which the word of God promises to us.

4. Faith is a spiritual force through which our ministry for Christ becomes effective: (Mark 11:23; Matthew 17:19,20). Faith is a major key to ministry success. It brings to you what you need for your ministry, and by imparting it to others through your life and your ministry of God’s Word, you enable them to receive the blessings of God’s grace mentioned above.

5. Faith is the major key for an effective healing and deliverance ministry: Jesus Christ “the same yesterday, today and forever” lives in the Christian (Hebrews 13:8, Galatians 2:20), and through the Christian wants to reveal the power of salvation to men in a way they can see and feel. In this way, our evangelism concerning the Kingdom of God will not be in talk, but in power (1 Corinthians 4:20).

There is one thing that really surprised me as I have been growing up in my twenties and that is how difficult it is to find a true friend. To me, a true friend is someone who you can be your absolute genuine self around without having to worry about them judging you or making you feel bad for who you really are. To me, a true friend is someone who you might not necessarily talk to on a daily basis, but do you know that they are always going to be there for you whenever you call for them.

To me, a true friend might not always be there for you drink every single second of every single day but they’re going to be there for you when it counts. Anyone else in your life who doesn’t necessarily fit into that category; who doesn’t in this area you live up to those standards is merely an acquaintance. These people are merely temporary faces, names, and personalities that you don’t really need as you’re making your way through this world. These are friends you don’t necessarily love and who might not love you back either.

I have also learned that a lot of people tend to fall out or friendships during their twenties because that is when a person usually tends to go through a drastic change with regards to their personality. The people that we were during the early parts of our twenties might not be the same people that we are as we are emerging into our thirties. And because of that dramatic shift in personality, a lot of relationships are going to have to suffer for it. You might have to cut ties with people who you feel no longer add value to your life. You might have to burn bridges with those who you feel like are holding you back from who you need to be. You might have to say goodbye to certain individuals who you know are creating negative impacts on your life. And all of these people might have been close to you once before but you’re just going to have to get used to a life without them as you move forward. That is just a part of human nature. We all must be constantly adapting to the environment around us and that means change for the most part. And change sometimes means having to cut out people in our lives who might be near and dear to us.

It’s normal to walk away from people you might consider to befriend at first. You have to understand that you are not going to be able to hold on to everyone’s hands as you make your way through this world. Sometimes, you’re going to have to let go of certain people to make space for the essentials in your life. And I realized that all of my essentials were the ones who did whatever they could to make sure that I felt loved and valued. That is why I really value all of my friends who tell me that they love me. I have found that in this world love is really the only thing that is worth fighting for; that is worth holding onto; that is worth treasuring. Every single one of us is going to need that one person or a select group of people that we surround ourselves with to make us feel loved and validated. That is why I have really come to treasure the friends in my life who love me – the ones who really go out of their way to prove their love to me.

And there is a certain vulnerability that comes with loving another person and being loved in return – even with friendships. I understand that vulnerability immensely. And that’s why I’m just so thankful for having friends who go out of their way to really express their love for me. These are the friends I can be my complete self with. These are the friends who let their true selves shine whenever they’re with me as well. They trust me enough to be vulnerable with me. And so in return, I let myself be comfortable whenever I’m around them as well. It’s that mutual trust and camaraderie that is built in these loving relationships that make life a lot easier to bear. In fact, they make this life worth living. So don’t be afraid to let love into your life in the form of friends. Having friends who love you could be the most important aspect of any person’s life. No man is an island, as they say. And you are never going to want to be caught in a position of having to face this world alone.

I’m not really interested in the version of yourself that you proudly portray on social media. I’m not really interested in the version of you that you take so much time to craft and perfect. I’m not really interested in the parts of you that you place under perfect lighting. I’m not interested in the parts of you that have to be accompanied with a caption. I am not really interested in seeing just how skilled you are at wooing people. I don’t want you to be putting on me the kind of moves that you put on so many people. I’m not really interested in you being polite just for the sake of being polite.

I want you to really tell me everything that makes you tick. I want you to explain to me in-depth why you love the things that you love. I want you to open up to me about your favorite songs and movies; the ones you just can’t just seem to get enough of. I want you to tell me about the things that keep you up at night; the things that are always just running through your mind. I want you to tell me about the many times that I’ve been hurt in the past. I want you to tell me about the many struggles that you have had to endure throughout your life. I want you to tell me about the people who have caused you pain and what you had to put yourself through to forgive them.

I want you to tell me about all of the times where you felt hopeless about life. I want you to open up to me about the moments in your life wherein you just felt overwhelmed by everything that was going on. I want you to tell me about the many times where you felt like the world had won and you had lost. I want you to trust me enough to actually open up to me about the many emotional scars and wounds that you have; the parts of you that you don’t really like to reveal to everyone else. I want you to really open up to me about the imperfections that persist in your life. I want you to talk to me about your deepest insecurities and fears; the parts of yourself that you wouldn’t dare expose to everyone else.

I don’t want to just be hearing you brag about your many achievements and major feats in life. Of course, I will always want to be sharing all of your greatest moments with you. I will always be proud of everything that you accomplish in this world. But I also want to hear about the parts of your life that are less than glamorous. I also want to hear about the many things that you’ve done that you have now come to regret. I want to hear about the choices and decisions that you made in the past which you wish you could have approached differently. I also want to hear about the things that have happened to you that you aren’t necessarily all that proud of. Because like it or not, these circumstances and situations helped shape who you are now. I need you to understand that I like who you are now – the real you. And I never want you to feel like you have to change or alter who you are just for my sake.

I don’t want to be in a relationship with an avatar of yourself; the version of yourself that you wish you could be. You have to come to terms with the fact that you are imperfect and that you have your fair share of flaws and blemishes. But I also want you to know that this is nothing that you should be ashamed of. These are not things that you have to be worried about. You shouldn’t have to be concerned with hiding these less-than-perfect parts of yourself from me at all. I have no interest in meeting the idealized version that you have of yourself. I have no interest in getting to know the version of yourself that doesn’t come with flaws and imperfections. I don’t want to have to put up with any of your efforts to conceal the truth. You are meant to be the way that you are at this very moment.

It can be very interesting to think about how a person can mean the whole world to you in a single moment and then eventually, that person can turn into a complete stranger to you as well. It’s weird how a person you love can be a person you eventually have to forget about; a person who you have to force out of your mind completely. It can be weird having to think about the things that you put yourself through to get over losing that person; the many distractions that you have to partake in to blunt yourself from the pain.

It’s always a very complicated dynamic whenever you are forced to let go of a person you once loved. It’s as if the relationship with someone goes full circle. You go from being strangers to friends to lovers and then right back to being strangers again. It’s a vicious cycle that you never thought you would be a part of and yet here you are. But the trouble with that scenario is that you never really stop knowing one another. You never really forget about each other.

You never really erase one another from each other’s lives. But you force yourselves to do so anyway. You have no choice but to try to alter your own memories. You try to rewrite your own history. You try to revise your own story.

When your entire life revolves around a single person for an extended period of time, you can’t just stop making that person your world on a whim. You can’t just say “I want you gone” and expect things to be okay and normal after that. Sure, they might not be in your life in a physical capacity in the way that they used to be. But you feel that there is a presence there despite their physical absence.

You still cling to the feelings you had when you were together. You can’t let go of the many shared memories that have been imprinted unto your mind. They all stay with you. They never really go away no matter how much you try to make them.

You might find yourself walking along the sidewalk that the two of you used to go through as you made your way back home from a date. You might be driving and a song comes on the radio that the two of you used to listen to non-stop. In those moments, you realize that no matter how hard you try, you can’t erase what that person did to you.

You can never really erase the spot in your life that they occupied for so long. You never forget the important dates such as birthdates and first times. You never really forget about the important milestones. You never really look at your supposed anniversaries in the same light ever again. These are never going to be just “regular days” for you for as long as you live. You won’t be able to shake the promises that were made but never kept. You will never really be able to move on even though you know it’s what you have to do to be okay again.

You try to comfort yourself by believing that you can either love someone FOREVER or you just never really loved them in the first place. You want to believe that just because things didn’t work out between the two of you means that your love was invalid after all. You so desperately want to write this person off as a mistake so that you have an excuse to just erase them from your life completely.

However, you also have to come to terms with reality. And the reality is that your love was real. You know that your love was valid. You know that being with this person wasn’t a mistake even though it never worked out for the two of you. You want to convince yourself that it’s okay to abandon this person who is now a stranger – but they aren’t really a stranger to you, huh?

We all start out as strangers before we get into intimate relationships. We make certain decisions and choices in our lives that ultimately dictate our destinies. We find people we have connections with and we try to treasure those connections the best way that we can. But what happens when those connections die out? What happens when those bonds that we worked so hard to build just come apart at the seams?

What happens when the one person who used to be your whole world doesn’t even happen to be in your universe anymore? What happens then? It’s always weird. It’s always unfortunate. It’s always heartbreaking. You never want to have to fall in love with a stranger only for the two of you to end up being strangers again.

I know the girls’ code says no secrets but you should understand that there are certain things about your relationship you shouldn’t discuss with friends. I bet you at the end of this write-up you will appreciate me for helping you protect you relationship.

Below are 5 things every woman shouldn’t tell her friends about her man in order to protect her relationship

1. QUALITY OF S3X

Never ever tell your friends about the quality of s3x you get from your man. It’s never okay and it could cause problems for you. If you tell your friends how good your man is, they might want to have a piece of him and if you tell them how bad he is, they might mock him. Play safe, avoid discussing the quality of s3x you get with your friends.

2. HIS ERRORS

Never discuss his errors and past mistakes with friends. Do you really think your man would be okay with it if he finds out? If you want your friends to value and respect your man, don’t discuss his errors with your friends.

3. HIS POOR FINANCES

Some women share this information with friends and it’s really wrong. Discussing his poor financial state with your friends makes him look incompetent. You have to understand that the life of a man is a challenge. And every man wants that notion of responsibility no matter how bad the situation is. So it’s your responsibility to protect him in bad times not necessary by given him money, but by avoiding exposing him.

4. HIS NASTY HABITS

Maybe you find his nasty habits annoying but discussing it with friends doesn’t solve the problem but you instead embarrass your man among your friends. Help him overcome the nasty habit instead of announcing it to the world.

5. ARGUMENTS

When you have a misunderstanding with your man, work it out together. It’s your relationship and not a public relationship where every friend get to know about every argument you have with your man. Discussing your misunderstandings with your friends would make them have less respect for your man as they only get to hear your side of the story.

Choose the people who choose you. As you make your way through this life, you are always going to want to perpetuate love wherever you can. You are going to want to stay positive with everyone that you met. You are always going to want to see the good in people. You are always going to want to choose that people are inherently good.

Because you don’t want to constantly be hounded by negativity. You don’t always want to be thinking that people are out to get you. You want to think that people are always worthy of your love; and that even though some people can make a few mistakes here and there, they should always be worthy of your forgiveness. And that’s a really noble way to go about life.

That’s a really nice way to just carry yourself as you interact with everyone that you encounter on a daily basis. There is never going to be enough good in this world, and you are always going to want to be a bastion for good. You are always going to want to spread positivity wherever you end up in life.

However, you can’t be so naïve either. You can’t always be thinking that people are ALWAYS going to treat you well. Because the fact of the matter is that we’re all imperfect. We aren’t always going to make the right decision and do the right things in this life. We aren’t always going to do all the good things that you might expect people to do. And that’s a fact. That’s why you can’t allow yourself to get so reckless. You can’t allow yourself to be so careless. You can’t open yourself up to people who are only going to hurt, abuse and manipulate you.

You can’t allow people to just walk all over you. You can’t let people just harm you and take advantage of you. Yes, you want to open yourself up to people as much as possible. But you also have to look out for yourself. You don’t want to end up broken and battered. You don’t want to end up used up and discarded like a mere plaything. You are a human being and you need to protect yourself as well. You also need to be looking out for your own well-being. You have to know that it’s okay for you to be a little bit selfish.

Because at the end of the day, you only have so much of yourself to give. You only have so much love inside of you – and that’s why you have to be more judicious. If you give too much love to those who don’t deserve it, you might not have any left to give to those who are closest to you. If you give too much of yourself to those who really don’t deserve it, then you risk not having anything left to give anyone else at all. You need to start choosing people who choose you.

You can’t always be giving all of yourself to the people who want nothing to do with you. You can’t keep devoting too much of your time and energy on toxic people who only make your life worse. You can’t just keep making space in your life for those people who bring out the worst in you; the people who turn you into a cold and bitter person. That’s why you should always take note of the people in your life who are worth keeping. You should always make time for the people in your life who are actually worth making time for. You should always keep to heart the many kind gestures and expressions of love that certain people have given you throughout your life.

As you make your way through this world, you are going to go through your fair share of ups and downs. And you’re going to need certain people there to help give you strength. You are going to need the support, companionship, and motivation that certain people are going to give you.

And it’s very important that you remember these people. It’s important that you take note of those people who actually showed up and helped make a positive difference in your life. These are the people who are worth rewarding with your love, time, and attention. These are the people who you should be devoting a lot of your energy to. These are the people who are deserving of your affections.

And also, remember those who didn’t show up when you needed them the most; the ones who only showed up when it was convenient for them to do so. Perhaps these people aren’t worth your time after all.

Finding the dream woman isn’t as easy as the headlines make it seem, however, we can’t deny that oftentimes, some men are the ones who make life hard for themselves. You cannot get something unless you show hunger and desire to get it.

There are too many guys who either deliberately or not, have closed themselves off to the possibility of finding love. Unless you open up yourself, that cannot change.

Now, let’s delve into those things you got to let go.

BE OPEN TO POSSIBILITIES

There are a lot of men who either because they’ve suffered heartbreak in the past or sheer fear, have closed themselves from the possibility of falling in love with a real woman. They only care about enjoying themselves with the next available lady. But unless you open up your mind and yourself to the truth that you could actually find someone amazing, and have a wonderful relationship with them, you will continue to stay within the confines you created for yourself. The mind is powerful. It only works with what it is fed.

OVERCOME FEAR OF REJECTION

The only reason a lot of guys are struggling to find their dream woman isn’t because of anything else, but the fact that they’re afraid of what the response or reaction could be. Because they can’t handle a woman saying ‘no’, they ignore and miss the good women they could have hooked up with.

You cannot fear what you do not know. The only way to know is to try and give it a shot. Do not be limited by fear. Even if a woman decides to turn you down, it doesn’t mean others will do the same. Learn to be confident and positive in your dealings. It’ll probably surprise you to know how many women actually like you back.

ELIMINATE FEAR OF COMMITMENT

We have all heard stories of our friends and people around us who suffered horrible heartbreak, or those whose emotions were toiled with just because they committed too much in their relationships. But it’s not always like that. Just because a few women have been bad to men you know doesn’t mean the next will be the same way to you. There are relationships that actually work, and you need to have faith in that reality. Most women only want to be in a committed relationship, so if you’re offering less, you’re likely to miss them.

Dear Woman.NG Readers,

I know many people will not understand this, in fact, I know I will be judged for this, but I am hoping that someone out there who has gone through this will identify with me.

It is ten years into our marriage and I have been seriously contemplating divorce. No he isn’t cheating (he has in the past) and no, he does not abuse me in anyway. But the main thing that should bind a couple together for life is no longer there.

I am no longer in love with him and I think the feeling is mutual.

I got married when I was 22 and he was 25. We were so young and in love and we believed all we needed was each other.

As we grew older, we started coming into our own. We didn’t grow together. Our interests, ambitions, values and so many things have become so different.

Initially, we were having a lot of conflicts, but after a while we both learnt to avoid each other. So now even though we rarely fight, we rarely talk or spend time together as well.

We have different rooms, different routines and hardly know what is going on with the other person. I can’t even remember the last time we had sex.

With the children we both play our parts.

Most people I have talked with think it is not enough reason to get a divorce, but why should we stay unhappy in a loveless and sexless marriage?

The possibility of remarrying the same person after a divorce is unlikely as both partners may after some months or years enter a new relationship, but Herman and April defied the odds.

Herman and April were high school lovers, who got married after 10 years of relationship. Five years after marriage, they got pregnant but they weren’t ready for the news that followed.

They were having twins.

Although, they planned for the pregnancy, they didn’t plan to have two children at once. They welcomed their babies in 2005 but the pressure of being new parents began to build tension in their marriage.

“We totally forgot about each other. We just focused on the children,” Herman said, explaining that he had to spend more time at work just to escape the tension at home.

Exhausted, April started lashing out at her husband. Soon, she started threatening him with divorce. Herman got tired of her threats and told her he wanted out too.

Sadly, none of them wanted their marriage to end but they were just consumed by everything that had been happening to them. They got divorced and April moved out of their house to another state.

Every weekend, Herman went over to April’s to see the children and during that time, they spent time alone again. They started talking, evaluating their situation and realized that they were still in love and never wanted to end their marriage.

After almost 9 months, they decided to get their marriage back. They saw a Christian counselor and prayed together regularly.

“I think it was a tough thing because we both had to humble ourselves. It was very candid, open and healing,” Herman said.

The couple completed their counseling a month before their original wedding anniversary date.

On October 6, 2007, they remarried.

“I always tell people that the second time was the most magnificent thing ever because God was truly there,” April said.

Watch the video here.

Feeling rejected? We’ve all been there. Some of us more than others but the great thing about rejection is that there are endless possibilities that you can venture to.

I recently, was forced to acknowledge something about myself which I’ve been in denial about my whole life; I HATE REJECTION!

I was visiting a friend at her home. I spot the invitation plastered on my friend’s fridge. The names of my two friends are printed in elegant script, with a “Save the Date” magnet hanging below. Yet another wedding I wasn’t invited to.

Why wasn’t I invited? What did I do wrong? I begin to think, tallying all the ways I should blame myself. Did I offend her in some way? Am I not adventurous enough? Does she think I’m too serious? I cycle through the possibilities, not knowing which is worse: Is this intentional, or did they just forget?

Later, I scroll through all the photos online, with all the people I know smiling together—and I’m left alone looking at a computer screen. I just can’t help but feel like this is somehow my fault.

Have you ever felt this pain of rejection?

Maybe you weren’t invited to a special event you were looking forward to. Or coworkers met for a meal without you. Maybe a small group of friends forgot to include you in an impromptu weekend outing. Maybe it’s something less tangible—a friendship that slowly faded away despite your efforts to re-connect.

It’s easy to burrow inward when this happens, to fixate on all the things you shouldn’t have said or could have done better. You end up feeling like you deserved to be left out, rejected, forgotten.

But you are not forgotten. You are loved. You are wanted.

God accepts you no matter what. Jesus says, “I will never turn away anyone who comes to me.” (John 6:37) He actively loves you regardless of what you do.

When you feel rejected or like an outsider, be reminded of how God accepts you.

Don’t allow rejection to take over your life without a fight.

The reality of life is that rejection will form a part of it. There will be occasions when your job application, your relationship, or your ideas will be rejected by someone, somewhere.

When you’re hurting, it can can be difficult to see rejection as a part of life and to acknowledge that what really matters is finding a way to bounce back and try again.

Here are five comebacks for rejection that you can use in just about any situation:

“Life Goes On.”

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? – Matthew 6:26

Whether it’s a bad break-up or a job you didn’t land, always remember that life goes on. There will be another relationship, another job, and whatever else you were rejected. Most successful people are successful because they didn’t allow rejection to halt their dreams.

“You deserve better”

Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. – Psalm 100:3

While love rejection can be difficult to handle, always remember that your destiny is never tied to someone who walks away from you. Bless those who walk away from you. They are making room for the one who won’t.

A broken heart can always be mended, it just takes time. Remember that.

“God Knows Best”

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. – Isaiah 55:8-9

Even when things don’t happen the way you expect them to, don’t be afraid of taking chances and getting rejected. The bottom line is this…”When God intends it, nothing will prevent it”.

So with that being said, either it was never meant to be or it just wasn’t the right time.

“You Live and Learn.”

Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love. – Ephesians 1:4

When we feel rejected, we trap ourselves in a moment of doubt and distress. But we must learn to see past the fleeting period of pain and acknowledge that there is a higher purpose to not getting what (or whom) we want. That higher purpose is usually revealed in time.

“Sometimes Rejection is God’s Protection”

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. – 1 John 3:1

From this day forward, if you experience rejection, the first question to ask before spiraling down into the dark abyss of confusion, self criticism, and suffering is: How is this rejection protecting me?

God sees what we can’t see and Sometimes Rejection is God’s Protection!

A lazy husband is a pain in the neck. I mean this guy won’t do anything for the family. He’s at home all day watching movies while the woman is labouring under the sun to provide for the family and he must eat 3 times a day! He won’t even assist the woman with house chores!

These types of men give all manner of excuses for not exercising their bones. They tell you they have one business deal they are still processing and for 5 good years, nothing has come out of the business deal or he tells you he is a full time Pastor whose office is his sitting room and the television is his church members! He hates stretching his legs and you will never catch him helping his wife around the house, to him that is “unmanly.” May the Lord comfort wives in this situation, it is not fun marrying this type of man, I tell you.

If you are married to this type of man, you can help him out. He can change for good and your family will be happier for it.

You need to talk. You are not mother Theresa, you can’t carry the weight alone. Politely let him know the stress of carrying the family weight is telling on you and if he does nothing to assist, you may collapse -that is the truth, you may collapse. Lots of women die today from stress than anything else.

Ask him to help you around the house. If you do not ask, he may not know you need help. House chore is not a natural thing for men, you need to encourage them to do it.

Whenever he goes out to look for job and brings nothing home, do not complain, appreciate his efforts and encourage him to keep searching.

If he volunteers to assist you at home, do not expect 100% perfection. He may not do things the way you do it but the fact that he volunteered to help deserves an applause.

Avoid abusing, nagging and shouting at him, he will only prove more stubborn and do nothing.

Pray for him consistently.

Handle him with wisdom. Men Like this, need plenty of wisdom and motivation from their wives or else they will do nothing.

Ask God to help you.

Read good books on marriage that helps you solve your problem.

God bless.

Everybody makes mistakes, yours is not new, stop waking your dead past, leave it alone and move on.

The reason so many look ugly to their potential suitors is because they keep wearing the ugly, smelly clothe of their past. If you have given your life to Christ, you are super lucky! He wipes the slate clean and declares you holy so walk in the full consciousness of your righteousness and stop living in self-condemnation.

Stop seeing yourself as the greatest sinner that walked the earth! Stop telling everybody about your past! Not everyone knows your past and if they do you owe them no explanation or apology unless you offended them. Only three people should know about your past: God, so he can wash you clean and make you pure. Your consellor so they can know how to help you forget your past and help you heal and your spouse, so they can understand you, period!

See, everyone make mistakes. There is no saint anywhere. That you lost your virginity, you once worked as a stripper/ porn actor, had s*x with married men/ women, raped all your ex-girlfriends or even did abortions for so many you lost count, had s*x with kids(child molestation), your father/mother/brother/sister/aunt (incest), or even worked as prostitute does not mean you should kill yourself for God’s sake! Repent, do not go back to your vomit and start living a clean life, simple!

You owe nobody any explanation about your past. Stop telling every guy/lady how bad you were until they have shown some commitment or you trust that they are not basket mouths. We have lots of immature, lousy mouthed, gossiping singles these days who have no single control over their mouths. You can’t keep a single secret with them. They are the local CNN, battery without radio and birds without feathers! They jump to the street the moment you tell them a secret and spill out your dirty acts to every Tom, Dick and Harry.

Brace up! Embrace your future and walk in the reality of who you are in Christ. You are brand new and you should live like that. Life is complicated. We make mistakes, everyone does, small or great you will make mistakes till Jesus comes, just learn from them and move on, simple!

Christ has delivered you from the power of darkness and he has made you to sit with him in heavenly places far above sin, reproach and shame. “There is therefore now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus…” God does not condemn you, why are you condemning yourself?

1. It`s dishonoring your body: God is interested in your body as well as your soul, God wants you to keep your heart holy as well as your body. Romans 12:1, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.” Your heart is the throne of God, and your body is His temple. With ma sturbation or any uncleanness, you expose yourself to God’s destruction.

2. It`s 5exual immorality: Any action by which one derives sexual pleasure – orgasm – apart from, between husband and wife, such is sexual immorality. There are several sexual immoralities like fornication, adultery, ma sturbation, homosexuality, etc. Those who involve in ma sturbation before or after marriage are immoral people before God.

3. It`s a secret sin: Any habit you like to do in secret which you don’t want people to have the knowledge that you are doing is a secret sin, and ma sturbation is part of it, it’s something usually done in secret, after you dedicate your life to Jesus. You can’t have fellow children of God in the same room and you begin to masturbate. You can sleep or snore while people are around, but you can’t ma sturbate while good and godly people are around

Getting over a crush is not always easy, but with time and patience, you can learn how to stop having a crush on someone.

Having a crush can really just drive you nuts sometimes. Even though you may not know this person well, you can’t stop thinking about them and it could be getting in the way of your everyday life. If you’ve been feeling this way, you’re ready to learn how to stop having a crush on someone, and move on!

Whether this person is involved with someone, is an inappropriate choice, or isn’t interested in you, you can stop a crush in its tracks. All you need is a bit of focus.

Why you need to stop having a crush on someone

As I mentioned, crushes can be overwhelming. And although you may think it is harmless to garner feelings for someone, a crush can get out of hand, especially if this is a person you can’t pursue.

Perhaps they are in a relationship, are your boss, or just not a logical match for you; in that case you need to actively stop having a crush in order to move on with your life. It sounds hard, but it doesn’t have to be.

How to stop having a crush on someone

Having control over your feelings is not always easy. A crush sometimes comes and goes on its own terms, and you just can’t do anything about it. But if you know ending this crush is the best thing for you, it is time to take action.

#1 Actively stop thinking about them. How do you do this? Similar to getting over a break up, when your ex crosses your mind, you change your train of thought. You have to do the same thing here.

When you realize you are staring, thinking about them, or wanting to text them, change the subject in your mind. Watch a TV show, get some work done, or call a friend. You can train your brain to distract itself from your crush and pretty soon it will stop all on its own.

#2 Be logical. Yes, love is not always logical, but this by definition is not love. It is a crush. That means logic and reason can overrule it. Instead of lusting after this person, remind yourself of why you are trying to stop having a crush on them.

Are they your friend’s ex? Are they your boss? Make sure this reason is always at the forefront of your mind when they are around.

#3 Take off your rose colored glasses. Crushing on someone gives you this beautiful view of them where they can do no wrong. You tend to only see their best qualities when you have feelings for someone, even just surface level ones.

Instead of focusing on their love for animals and soft flowy hair, remind yourself of their worst qualities. Did they cheat on their ex? Are they shallow? Do they have bad breath? All of these things might seem small individually, but all together there are a lot of negatives and red flags to avoid.

#4 Make a pro/con list. If thinking of the negative things about your crush isn’t cutting it, make a pro and con list. Think of what you like about them and what you don’t. Also think about the positives of being together and the negatives. Likely the cons will come out stronger and reaffirm your need to stop this crush.

#5 Give yourself space. If your crush is someone in your friend group, try to create some space between you two. This can be difficult, especially if your crush is someone you work with or see regularly, but until you dissolve your feelings spending time together could potentially make things worse.

Try to avoid them when possible, but otherwise keep things professional and light. Avoid flirting, and if you need to, even avoid eye contact because that is where a lot of chemistry and feelings can form. [Read: Falling for your best friend? Here’s why it’s best you back away right now]

#6 Get it all out. When you have a crush, all you want to do is talk about that person, but continuing to do so only keeps them fresh in your mind. So vent to a trusted friend and get it all out at once. Talk about your frustration, your plan for moving on, and then let it go.

Don’t bottle it up, but let it all out so you can take the next step.

#7 Be patient. When you’re trying to figure how to stop having a crush on someone and move on, you need to keep in mind that getting over someone, even a crush is not instant. It won’t happen overnight and you can’t just will your feelings to go away because you want them to. Just like anything worthwhile, it will take some time.

Trust the process. Trust that you are doing your best to distract yourself and keep your thoughts and actions in check. Only time will tell when you have truly stopped having a crush on someone. [Read: 10 signs you’re love sick and 10 more ways to get out of it]

#8 Go out. You do not have to go out on dates in order to get over your crush. That can actually have negative effects if you still have feelings for them. Instead go out with friends, try some new activities, and simply see where that takes you.

Moving on too quickly can throw you right back to your crush and be unfair to whoever you’re dating. But being open to meeting new people in a platonic environment is a great way to remind yourself that there are plenty of great people out there.

#9 Unfollow them. Unfollowing someone on social media can seem harsh, but if that is what you need to stop thinking about your crush, then do it. Now you do not have to block them or unfriend, most apps have an option for you to simply mute them so that their life moments don’t pop up in your feed.

This does not have to be permanent, but can prevent you from back peddling on your crush when they post a cute selfie.

#10 Say no. This goes hand in hand with avoiding them, but it can be difficult to decline an invitation from your crush. You don’t want to be rude, but when you still have feelings, this could be a dangerous game.

Politely decline any invitations to spend time together until your feelings are under control.

#11 Ask for help. As I said earlier, a crush can be overwhelming. That means even though you know you should avoid them, your feelings might not let you think rationally. If you notice this happening, ask a friend for help.

If your crush is someone you work with, ask a trusted coworker to step in when they see you giving into temptation. Or have a friend text you every so often to remind you that you are trying to move on.

#12 Worry about you. Take some time for you. Instead of focusing on your crush or even worrying about how to stop having a crush on someone, focus on yourself. Go for a trip to the spa. Go shopping. Do something you love to do.

This can be a hobby like fishing or even binging Netflix. Not only will this give you a little boost of happiness, but it might just help to remind you that you love spending time with you. Being single doesn’t have to suck. So enjoy it.

#13 Consider dating. At this point, there may still be some residual feelings, but hopefully your crush is no longer taking over your mind. You may not be ready to throw yourself into the dating pool just yet, but it is time to think about it.

Are you prepared to go on dates? Are you interested in meeting someone else? Are you trying to make your almost former crush jealous or are you truly open to liking someone else?

#14 Write it down. If you really can’t shake the last remaining feelings you have for your crush, write them down. Write a letter to your crush expressing all your feelings. Tell them how hard it has been to get over them and get it all out on paper.

Then throw it out. You can burn the letter, throw it in the garbage, or keep it in the back of your file cabinet. But do NOT send it. There is a reason you are trying to stop having a crush. This exercise is purely to aid in your mental and emotional state. This lets you release all your feelings without the fall out or repercussions.

#15 Actually date. Hopefully all these steps on how to stop having a crush on someone have helped to get this crush out of your system. Now you can work on forming a new crush, preferably on someone available. So download a dating app, ask a friend to set you up, or what have you.

It can be hard to figure out how to stop having a crush on someone, but you can do it and move on for good. All you need is a bit of practice, patience, and persistence.

Do people really live the lives they portray on Facebook? The answer is—partially . . .  because most people share selectively.  For example, have you ever posted something on Facebook then checked back later to see how many people “liked” your post? If you have, don´t worry, you are in good company.  For most people, Facebook sharing is not selfish, it is social.  That is why we call it social media.

Facebook is a place where users share life´s most precious moments: a baby´s first steps, a spectacular sunset, and, depending on their level of transparency, that delectable slice of chocolate cake they ordered after lunch.  All three of those examples, by the way, are destined to be very well “liked.”

Unlike narcissistic posters, whose glamor shot selfies and promotional status updates are all about them, many posters are motivated by the anticipation of the way others will respond to them.  Some people post photos of themselves at their worst—in a hospital bed after surgery, or without makeup after a workout—situations that showcase not vanity, but humanity.  Sharing areas of vulnerability often generates the largest outpouring of support.

When it comes to sharing good news, many Facebook users post not out of arrogance, but in search of affirmation.

Sharing Good News Can Boost Happiness and Self-Esteem 

In a study entitled “Are you happy for me . . . on Facebook?,” Anne L. Zell and Lisa Moeller (2018) sought to extend the phenomenon known as capitalization, defined as the “social sharing of positive events,” to an online context.[i]  Capitalization has been shown to enhance well-being and relational intimacy, and elevated mood is increased when positive events are shared with an audience that is enthusiastic, versus disinterested or negative.

Zell and Moeller found that receiving comments and likes on Facebook personal status updates was associated with improved self-esteem and happiness, as well as the perception that one´s Facebook community was interested in the good news.

They also found that status updates that generated more responses were viewed as more important and positive, and were more memorable.

Likes Versus Comments: What Makes Us Feel Better?

How long does it take to click the “Like” button on Facebook? Less than a second.  Yet this quick validating measure demonstrates social support for the poster.  Zell and Moeller found that the amount of likes, even more than the number of comments, operated as a measure of “social proof” leading posters to view their status update as more important, positive, memorable, and satisfying in terms of the response received.

They also found that the number of comments received, as opposed to the number of likes, was linked to posters´ beliefs that their Facebook community cares about them and is interested in the good news they share. They note this is consistent with prior research indicating that posters feel closer to people who post comments and messages, rather than likes.

So that explains the response, other research has focused on the motivations behind posting.

Does Taking Selfies Make You Selfish or Self-Confident?

Jessica L. McCain et al. (2016) examined the link between narcissism and selfies, as well as the motivation behind selfie taking.[ii]   In addition to their findings about narcissism, they also found that self-esteem was unrelated to selfie taking.  The most significant finding in this respect was that self-esteem was linked to lack of negative affect when taking selfies.

Other research also failed to find a link between self-esteem and selfie taking.  Agnieszka Sorokowska et al. (2016) in “Selfies and personality,” failed to find a relationship between self-esteem and selfie posting behavior among women, and found only a slight correlation among men—in their own selfies posted on Facebook.

Instead, Sorokowska et al. found the frequency of selfie posting behavior in both genders was linked with extraversion and social exhibitionism.  This was not surprising.  The researchers note that exhibitionists are inspired by the presence of an audience, making social media an ideal venue within which to share personal information and photos. They also note that extraverts are more socially active, so they might post more selfies to keep their friends up to date, and are also more likely to be on social media to begin with.

Everything in Moderation: Post Responsibly

Like anything else, sharing our lives online should be done with discipline, and good judgment.  In a digital wild west populated by virtual personalities of all shapes, and sizes, all posters should proceed with caution.

Among “friends,” Facebook sharing is ideally a blessing not a curse.  People who respect boundaries and post responsibly often have more friends than they can count.

If a woman has dated a man for a while and reached a point where she’s developed some feelings for him, she can’t help but wonder if there are signs that he wants you to be his girlfriend.

After all, it’s just one of two things when it comes to men. Either he’s keeping you for the long run or you’ll just be a name on his list of conquests.

The signs that he wants you to be his girlfriend

The need for certainty is understandable especially if you haven’t had the “talk.” So how does a girl confirm her suspicions and know for sure he’s playing for keeps? Luckily, men have a tendency to display a predictable set of behaviors once he decides that he wants you to be his girlfriend. If you observe any of these signs, rest assured he definitely does want you.

1 He’s left the online dating scene since meeting you. If a guy has decided that he wants to be exclusive and intends to pursue a serious relationship with you, his online dating presence will go. He’ll delete those dating apps from his phone and probably condemn his login information to forgetfulness. With you in the scene, what’s the use?

2 You’re always considered when he makes plans. You’re not just a footnote at the course of his day, and the time he spends with you will no longer be out of convenience. When a guy wants you to be his girlfriend, he will actively put you in his map and make plans with you in it.

3 He values and seeks your advice. In short, you have earned his respect. You’re not just a pretty face to parade around in display but have become an indispensable part of his life. One whom he can count on for good advice on important matters.

4 He’s the first one to apologize when you fight. He doesn’t want to lose you just because of some silly argument, even if you’re clearly the one who did him wrong. Either way, he won’t let a day pass without conceding and apologizing so you’re on good terms again.

5 You get the premium share of his time. He’s willing to go far as to diminish his “me” time, time for his friends or hobbies, and even family just to spend time with you. For him, time spent on anything else pales in comparison to the time you spend together.

6 He puts in a lot of effort just to see you. It doesn’t matter if he hadn’t had enough sleep, if you’re a two-hour drive away from him, or even if there’s a snowstorm coming his way. He’ll probably brave all those and more if the prize is some time spent with his favorite girl.

7 He cares about what you think of him. Most men usually won’t give a damn about what other people think of them. Your opinion of him matters to him enough so that he’s willing to change himself to become someone desirable to your eyes.

8 He’s not afraid to be seen with you in public. A guy who wants to keep a girl as a side chick will tend to avoid meeting in public spaces or do stuff like walk you home. But with a guy who wants to be serious, he will proudly hold your hand, wraps his hands around you, or even kiss you in public.

9 He’s not afraid to spend a lot of money on you. Money is not really a polite topic in the context of serious relationships. But, the amount a guy is willing to spend on a girl is also a dead giveaway on how he values the girl. This is mostly applicable when a guy is not particularly well-off but still doesn’t care if he spends more on his girlfriend-to-be than he would on a usual day.

10 He puts your well-being above his own. You may think that it cheesy, but this is one of those clear signs that he wants you to be his girlfriend and it’s true. And above all, it doesn’t get more obvious than this. Guys have this natural protective instinct towards people dear to them. If a guy does things big or small for the preservation of your well-being at the cost of his own, he probably wants you to be more than just a girlfriend.

11 He has introduced you to his friends. Men are the type of creatures who usually draw a line between romantic relationships and friends. Mixing the two can be tricky. If your man is comfortable enough to introduce you to his “in a group,” then he probably wants both parties to know that you’re important to him. They’ll be seeing you a lot more at their gatherings in the future.

12 He wants to introduce you to his parents, in case you haven’t met him yet. The “meet the parents” stage is something guys usually reserve for their actual girlfriends. It’s kind of a dead giveaway, isn’t it? If you’ve reached this point without even becoming official then there’s really nothing to worry about.

13 You’ll hear that he tells a lot of people about you. This only means two things. First, it shows he’s proud of you. Second, he pays attention to what’s going on in your life.

14 He shows you the awkward sides of his personality. Men typically put up a tough front in the presence of the opposite sex. They want to be seen as someone reliable and “cool” which increases their attractiveness in front of the ladies. You’ll only get to see their silly and unattractive side if you have gained their utmost trust.

15 You’re privy to his vulnerable side. As mentioned, guys typically act tough and cool in front of everyone, especially with girls. Showing weakness and voicing insecurities is perceived as against their code of manliness. So if he shares this privileged information with you, then you probably have reached that level of intimacy worthy of becoming his girlfriend.

Men can be playful and heartless at times. When it comes to a girl they want for the rest of their life, they can be very consistent and predictable. So watch for these tell-tale signs he wants you to be his girlfriend, and you’ll know.

Why do guys play hard to get? Well, boys can be so confusing, honestly. And when it comes to feelings, it can be hard to tell where they stand.

Now, you may be wondering, why do guys play hard to get if they know I like them? This is the million dollar question. But don’t worry, I have some answers for you. When I first experienced my first “hard to get” guy, I was in shock and also thrilled by the challenge.

But after a while, I become confused and annoyed. Like, why do I have to chase you when you know I like you? I’m right here! It doesn’t have to be this hard! But nothing is ever what it seems. There are plenty of reasons why guys play hard to get.

Why do guys play hard to get? 13 reasons why

Women spend a lot of time dissecting the mind of guys. Figuring out why they do what they do and how we need to counteract their moves. Trust me, after a while, you become tired of it.

One minute, a guy seems really into you, and the next day, it’s like you’ve never existed. What’s up with that? Now, it could be that they’re simply not that into you. Sorry, but someone had to tell you. But there’s also a second option which most of you will probably go with *it’s definitely easier on the ego*. It could also be that he’s playing hard to get. It’s time to know the truth.

1 He’s seeing someone. This is one reason that you shouldn’t ignore. He takes you out, you talk on the phone, but you’ve never met his friends or family. Well, there’s something he’s not telling you and most likely it’s that he has a girlfriend already.

He’s playing hard to get because well, he already has someone and he cannot become emotionally invested with you. So, he keeps himself at a slight distance.

2 He’s shy. Sometimes, when you’re wondering why do guys play hard to get, it could be that he’s not playing hard to get at all. It could simply be that he’s just really shy. This can be a little tricky to figure out because it can come across that he’s really not into you. But you’ll be able to see this through time as he becomes more comfortable around you.

3 He’s worried about his parents. Guys can be weird when it comes to their family. Maybe his parents are slight control freaks or extremely nosey. He may come to your house a lot, but he never invites you over. Of course, this makes you feel like something is shady and that he’s hiding something. This impression that he’s playing hard to get could be because he’s thinking about what his parents and family are going to be like if they find out about you.

4 His friends don’t like you. He may really like you but his friends have told him that you’re no good for him. So, he’s struggling with his feelings. He wants to make a move but then again, he’s worried about what his friends will say. It comes off as being hot and cold, giving you the impression that he’s playing hard to get.

5 You’re too aggressive. You may really be into this guy, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Also, there’s nothing wrong with being the one who makes the first move instead of waiting for him to do so. But now he sees that he’s in the power position, so, he’s playing hard to get in order to get control of the situation. That, and he’s probably freaking out a bit.

6 Your friend is into him. Now, if he’s a younger guy, this may keep from him moving forward with you. He’s looking at his options and if he knows that some of your friends are into him or other girls, he’s just going to string you along until he figures out which one he wants. Or he may end up empty-handed, however, keep you all chasing him like hungry dogs.

7 He doesn’t want a relationship. He may seem like the perfect guy. He makes you laugh, he’s affectionate, and you guys can talk for hours, however, nothing is official between you. Though you guys act like you’re together, you’re not. Maybe he misses his ex or doesn’t feel like he’s ready. So, instead, he plays hard to get in fear that you’ll lose interest and he’ll end up alone.

8 He doesn’t have time. Some guys are really busy, I can’t deny this. Now, some guys use this as an excuse to have causal relationships. However, there are some guys genuinely busy. Now, they can always take a minute to reply to your texts, but he may look like he’s playing hard to get because he’s hard to get a hold of.

9 He’s immature. Listen, men are immature. No matter the age, they somehow always end up acting like they’re twelve. If he’s a younger guy, then this is most likely why he’s acting like this. He’s watched a couple too many YouTube clips on how to get the girl and now he’s trying to attempt the impossible. He’s playing hard to get because he has no idea what he’s doing.

10 You’re only for fun. Yeah, I know, it sucks. But instead of being honest with you from the beginning, he plays hard to get while you give him yourself. Here’s the thing, he had no intention of making anything serious with you, and you’re just chasing a dream that will never happen. He only sees you for a good time and that’s it.

Marriage comes with its highs and lows, and no matter how prepared you think you are, you will still get some surprises!

We asked some Naija wives what they never expected in marriage, or wished they knew before getting married. Here is what they said!

LIZZY

Being married, having kids and having a career is serious work! Enjoy your spinsterhood while it lasts – if you are single.

SHADE

I didn’t understand how your freedom dies when you get married. I no longer take decisions on my own – where to go, what to eat – anything! It’s now about “all of us” and “we”

ANN

Being dis-virgined on my wedding night was hell. Thought it would be amazing. Well it got interesting after that…

SEE ALSO: HOW GOD SENT AN ANGEL TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE

ANONYMOUS

I thought love would grow with my husband, it didn’t. I dread him touching me, there’s no love, no chemistry, no intimacy. It’s been frustrating. Please be attracted to whoever you want to get married to.

KEMI

I never thought Mills and Boons novels were lying to me all those years! Marriage is not a bed of roses!

TEGA

Love needs to be nurtured otherwise it dies. I discovered that little actions are what make love thrive. Once I neglect the little things, the joy and love slowly reduces

BEAUTY

The first few years were harder than I expected. We fought, were hurt, but forgave each other. Once we adapted to each other, it became beautiful. You need to stay strong and be patient.

LARIN

I married not only him, but his whole family! I practically inherited everything – the obligations, stresses and benefits. They are great anyway- just a little nosy

SHARON

I’m not always wildly attracted to him. When we were single it was so intense now we have cooled down (laughs). But our love is more grounded and solid now.

ANONYMOUS

Having a life before marriage is very important. I think I got married too early. I should have waited a bit longer. I love my kids but at 37, I feel like I buried my potentials and dreams for marriage. I love my kids though.

ANONYMOUS

He still doesn’t like going to church. I though getting married would change that.