Hello fam, it’s another Sunday and this is another Elcrema love special; my favourite column on Elcrema magazine. Don’t act surprised cos it’s also your favourite too; well it’s my favourite because Sunday love special isn’t just about entertainment; it encompasses lifestyle, it’s informative and it’s real cos it bothers around relationship issues.
Now, to the question; can you marry someone your family doesn’t approve? I’d like to know your take on this really; my man Drama is on the YES side and I won’t argue with him but I have my reservation. And I’d also like to know what you feel about this because it’s a serious issue Africans face and your opinion matters; it just might mean something to someone but most times we take the little things for granted (forgetting that the little things in life are the biggest of things).
Now this is what Drama has to say about this.
Marriage is defined as a formal union between a man and a woman through which they become husband and wife. Mark the keywords there—‘a man and a woman’, not ‘a man, and a woman, and his (their) family’.
I acknowledge that family is important in in every human’s life, you need family to be around you because they make you feel loved, and besides that, family can be one’s only resource in times of need, but there comes a time in a man’s life when he has to make arguably the single most important decision ever—settling down with a woman he considers his soul mate; a woman he loves. You do not expect his family to that for him, it should be a decision he makes himself.
Marriage is not like the everyday’ boyfriend-girlfriend relationship’; the decision to marry is one that should be reserved solely for the parties directly involved—because eventually, they’re the ones who get to be in it. They’ll be the ones to suffer the bad times when they arise, as well as the good times. Whatever comes out of it, they are the ones who’ll be at the receiving end of. So what if you let your family influence your marriage choice, and along the line, things get sour; what happens then? You play the blame game?
When you find a woman who makes you happy, you should be able to freely settle down with her as your wife. In marriage, happiness is paramount. No one should be made to pass-up the chance at being with the person who makes them happy simply because people they consider family do not approve of him/her. That is absurd. Family are supposed to be there for each other; be each other’s backbone and support. Their only role in my life should be to support me, and accept the decisions I make, not make decisions for me. Marriage is a decision between two people and no outside party should enjoy the prerogative of influencing it. Even the Bible acknowledges this fact, and states: ‘therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.’—Genesis 2:4 (KJV).
I will stop here, believing that I’ve made a case for all who love and understand freewill. Freewill is priceless, and Marriage is special; if you allow your family to determine who you marry today, remember to also allow them have a say in how you run it, and the number of children you have tomorrow.
That was Drama’s opinion and I respect it but I beg to slightly differ.