The effects of childhood drama can have a negative impact on your psyche as you enter adulthood. Children of narcissistic parents are well aware of this, having been raised by someone who is incapable of feeling empathy, compassion, and remorse and who has a false sense of superiority.
Children of narcissistic parents are taught and conditioned at an early age to believe that their worth is determined by the reputation of their families and to seek approval where there’s none. And the reason for this is simple: They’ve been raised in an environment where love was seldom honest, unconditional, and selfless, if given at all.
Unfortunately, children that have been raised by unloving, unsupportive, and selfish narcissistic parents can get trapped in another cycle of narcissistic abuse, and in what follows, we’ve presented 4 reasons for this:
1. They’re accustomed to being controlled and manipulated.
Narcissistic parents are known to regularly disrespect their children’s boundaries and control their hobbies, interests, relationships, and behavior through threats, manipulation, and verbal or sometimes even physical abuse.
So, never allowed to be independent and confident people, children raised by narcissistic parents grow into compliant individuals. But, they’re still not aware of the fact that their need to please others may do them more harm than good. Because they can give their love to and meet the needs of someone who is manipulative, selfish, and even abusive. Someone that doesn’t deserve their generosity.
2. Love-bombing represents the love and attention they may have never received from their narcissistic parents.
Children of narcissistic parents can be particularly susceptible to the sweet talk and love-bombing of a narcissist since they yearn to receive the validation they didn’t gain in childhood. So, when a narcissist showers them with affection, sweet words, and praise, they make them become more addicted to their attention. However, when the narcissist later degrades them, this reminds them of their emotional wounds from their past and inflict new ones on them.
3. They tend to feel like they aren’t good enough.
Narcissistic parents are known to frequently belittle and degrade their children. They’re known to undermine their children’s talents, achievements, and successes. They’re known to make their children feel weak, incompetent, and unimportant.
So, when a child of narcissistic parents gets involved with a narcissist that could be the mirror image of their narcissistic parent or parents, they revert back to their sense of worthlessness and shame.
So, by not feeling good enough, they end up trauma bonded to their narcissistic partner that actually represents to them the people whose expectations they failed to meet in childhood and whom they depended on.
4. They tend to associate being valued with being an object.
Narcissistic parents are known to teach their children that their worth depends on what they can do for them and how compliant they are. They’re known to constantly expect their children to meet their expectations and maintain their reputation.
Well, while an adult person who’s been raised by narcissistic parents may find being a trophy girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, or husband flattering in the beginning, since as a child, to be perceived as a trophy or prize felt like a sign of validation and approval and the only source of love and attention from their parents, this may be a pretty limiting and debilitating experience for them. Because it’s scary and awful to be told you solely exist for the purpose of pleasing another.
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