Hi Hartofjoyce Readers,
We have been together for 3 years, and I cancelled my wedding to my ex to be with him. When we first met, he talked about marriage regularly and often asked me to marry him (but not seriously – while lovemaking for example). We talked about venues etc but he never asked me. 3 years on and he never mentions it at all. We live together and are really quite happy. But something is niggling me….
While he was with his ex for 5 years, he said for the last few years he really wasn’t into it and stayed with her for convenience (he doesn’t like being alone). Toward the end of the their relationship she talked about them marrying and he said he avoided the conversation. This is just for context, because today I saw a message from an old friend of his who asked if he was still looking a specific venue to marry in. He replied ‘that was last year. Don’t go and buy a hat just yet’.
Now the day he sent that, we weren’t in a good place and had had a couple of days a little frosty with each other. Nothing serious though, just one of those days.
But now I can’t help thinking that he feels the same about me as he did his ex. I don’t want to bring it up because I don’t want to appear desperate. And I’m not desperate to get married, but I am desperate for some commitment from him and I am panicking that the message he sent means we are running out of steam. Any advice? Does it sound like a proposal is off the cards, and if it is, is this the beginning of the end?