Between being ghosted and the prevalence of almost relationships, it seems more confusing than ever to figure out if a guy is actually going to commit to you. Maybe instead of focusing on him, you should be thinking about how you feel — you have a say in this, too. In other words, don’t call him your boyfriend until these 10 things happen:
1. He actually plans dates. To be honest, even if he plans a super sweet night in, that still counts. Some guys aren’t the fancy dinner type and you might not even be, either. You just want someone who takes the time to think about you and wants to make sure you’re having fun.
2. He’s upfront about where his head is at. It’s not cool to be vague about how you feel about someone you’ve started dating, despite what so many guys seem to think. If he has the guts to say how much he’s into you, then he’s definitely a keeper.
3. He can end an evening gracefully. It’s kind of crazy how politeness and chivalry seem to have gone out the window. No, you don’t owe him 5ex if you’re not in the mood or would rather not, even if he bought you an expensive dinner. If your guy can end the night properly, whether he’s setting up your next date or sending you off with the best kiss of your life, he’s definitely boyfriend material.
4. He deletes Tinder. By now, it’s pretty obvious that some people think they have tons of “options” and can treat dates like disposable objects. If your guy is not into the dating game and seems to appreciate that he’s lucky to have found you, that’s a good sign. He definitely shouldn’t be swiping still when you two are getting serious-ish.
5. His friends and family know you’re together. It’s weird if he won’t introduce you to his friends and family, so you definitely can’t call him your BF if he’s hiding you. Gross. More than that, though, you should be part of his whole world now. You should know his fave TV shows and the video games he pretends not to play and even the name of his second grade crush (OK, maybe not that last one, but you get the picture).
6. You’re in sync with each other’s needs. You both love to go out all the time or belong to the homebody society, or you enjoy a balance. You share similar interests or at least respect each other’s need for alone time.
7. He gets that you love your career. This is a pretty big deal and can definitely end a budding relationship before it even begins. You don’t need someone who makes you feel bad for working on a Sunday instead of getting brunch or for being preoccupied some evenings with work stress.
8. There’s a real spark. It’s crazy how many couples aren’t even attracted to each other and don’t enjoy each other’s company – it’s just the worst when people are always whining about their significant other. You want a spark, a connection, and enough chemistry to make any awkward moments totally worth it.
9. It’s more fun than stressful. Dating is stressful and awful, but it’s also supposed to be fun. If you’re not having the time of your life, you need to hold onto your single girl status a little while longer.
10. You see a future together. You’re not into the boyfriend label just for your FB profile or bragging rights with your still single friends. You want to make sure the future looks bright for the two of you.
If all of these things have happened, go ahead and bring up The Talk. Chances are, he’ll be right there with you and you’ll be official in no time.