There are plenty of men out there to choose from when it comes to dating, but if you’re a woman who wants to get to know as many of them as possible before settling, you’ve probably been shamed for it. Fuck the double standards, though — you can and should date as many men as you want! It is as simple as that. If you luck out and number one is Mr. Right, you can totally stop there, no matter what anyone else thinks. If you want to date all of Manhattan, you should do that, too. Here’s why dating as many guys as you want is the best idea ever, no matter what the haters say:
1. Most of us don’t find “The One” immediately. High school sweethearts who go on to marry (and stay married) are the exception, not the rule, and it takes most of us several years to find someone we can tolerate for any length of time (and even then, it doesn’t always last).
2. Dating can be a lot of fun. If you don’t take yourself, or him, too seriously. You get to see lots of movies, eat at a bunch of different places, try new things, dress up… the list goes on and on. If you’re lucky, you eventually find a guy you dig enough to settle down with long-term, but that takes time.
3. Dating can also be stressful. Not all women like being super social and meeting new people all the time, so dating can be a stressful experience. In that case, dating one or two good guys who share your interests and don’t need to be social butterflies all of the time is totally acceptable, and you don’t need to listen to anyone who thinks that “you need to get out more.”
4. No one needs to know how many men you’re seeing. It really isn’t anyone else’s business, and you don’t need to explain it to anyone. Whether you’re seeing one guy or 15, if you’re having a good time, then anyone who judges you can GTFO.
5. Guys see as many women as they want. And yet they’re never judged for it. Talk about double standards! The only one who has to be OK with what you’re doing is you, so date around like the dudes do if that’s what you want (and if it isn’t, then don’t).
6. Seeing multiple guys doesn’t make you a slut. “Slut” is an outdated and misused term that has no place in modern life. Just be safe and smart about things and you’ll be good to go. The guys you’re seeing may not particularly like it if you’re seeing others, but unless you’ve decided to be exclusive, then it isn’t really their business either.
7. Dating only a few guys doesn’t make you inexperienced. We hear it all the time when we’ve only had one or a few boyfriends: “You really need to date more so you know what you want.” This isn’t true for everyone. If you already know what you want and don’t need to date more guys to get it, then don’t.
8. Mr. Right probably won’t care how many guys you’ve dated. When you finally find him, that is. If he’s really the right guy for you, he probably won’t care how many guys you’ve dated. Although I can’t promise this, I’ve met way fewer guys who cared than didn’t. The ones that cared were super insecure and shouldn’t have been dating until they got their own shit straight, anyway.
9. The whole ‘kissing frogs to find the prince’ thing. A lot of us need to learn by being hands on. In this case, we have to learn what we want in a guy by dating enough of them to figure that out. It doesn’t matter how many guys it takes until you decide what that is, it just matters that you discover what works for you and what doesn’t.
10. It’s your life! More than anything, you need to remember that it’s your life and no one else’s. If you date a whole bunch of guys and decide that isn’t working and want to slow it down, that’s fine. If you feel like you aren’t really figuring out what you need and want to date more, then do that, too! There’s no magic number of guys you need to date to find your other half, so do what you want. Variety is the spice of life, after all.